


Truth Will Out

by dare2dream



Category: Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-01
Updated: 2013-07-30
Packaged: 2017-11-19 23:01:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 74,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/578567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dare2dream/pseuds/dare2dream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A long lost friend comes to visit whilst Ben is jumping on the Hollywood bandwagon, but in just a month will she turn his life upside down?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Rosie searched the arrivals hall at LAX wondering whether he would surprise her and be on time for once in his life. She finally saw his mop of brown curly hair as he milled around in the group of people being squashed by a baseball cap that was a size too small for his head, his hands were stuffed in his pockets of his tight jeans as he kicked the floor with his foot. He almost sensed she was coming and snapped his eyes up to scan the room as she barrelled towards him his face broke into a grin and his arms opened wide as she made it to him hugging him. His hand moved to the back of her head cradling it into his shoulder as he felt the familiar woman press herself against him,  
'Benedict! You are on time!' she said hearing him laugh,  
'Less of that…it has been known to happen.' He said cupping her face looking into her soft hazel eyes, 'god I have missed you.' He said kissing her cheek and hugging her again his hands settling on her waist this time as she gripped his shoulders.  
'Woman what have you got in this luggage? It weighs a ton.' A man said as he approached them. Ben's eyes flicked up to look at him before looking back at Rosie as she slipped an arm around his waist smiling up at the man who must have been six foot five and almost as wide. 'You alright mate? I'm Sam; this one doesn’t shut up about you, nice to finally meet you.' He said extending his hand. Ben looked down at his hand and almost forgot his manners before grasping it shaking it warily.  
'Is this the guy you were taking about?' Ben asked, 'I think I am a slight disadvantage she hasn’t told me much about you.' He added, 'boyfriend?' he said at Rosie trying to remember if she had mentioned him and then recalled a lot about a man called Sam.  
'Fiancée.' She said excitedly extending her left hand placing it in Ben's palm. Ben looked down at the moderate rock on her finger,  
'You could have mentioned…'  
'Well if you would answer your bloody phone.' She rolled her eyes jokingly,  
'Congratulations.' He managed a little strained, 'so when did this happen?'  
'About a week ago, and Sam was going to be sent out here to do a set of articles so I said why not come out with me, that way he can work for half the time and you can get to know him a bit better. Not that you won't love him.' She said wrapping her arm back around his elbow leaning into his chest. Ben felt like he was going to pass out at the shock and the panic that was rising inside him as the woman who had always been there fighting the single world with him was now engaged.  
'Right, well then we better be going before the parking fee gets too extortionate.' He said looking down at one of their three cases, 'umm shall I take one of those?' he offered,  
'Nah it's cool I got them.' Sam said hefting the large duffel bag over one shoulder picking up another bag his bicep barely contracting before handing Rosie a small carry on wheely case and picking up the hand luggage. 'After you.' He said, Ben felt entirely weak and emasculated. He felt Rosie sidle up to him whispering in his ear,  
'I missed you too. I want you to tell me what you really think of him when you get to know him. You know your opinion means a lot to me.' She said looking into his eyes smiling at him looking nervous and Ben swallowed his doubt,  
'I'm sure we will get on like a house on fire.' He said smiling at her seeing how eagerly she wanted him to like this man and however hard it was to let her go he was going to have to let her be happy. 

 

***

 

Benedict kept his eyes on the road as the Sam sat in the back completely obscuring his view out of the windscreen, occasionally he glanced over at Rosie as she filled him in on everything he had missed,  
'Your parents send their love.' She finished,  
'When did you see them?'  
'Well mum invited them round when we had a little mini dinner, just us, Sam's parents, my parents and yours.' She said, 'they also told me to nag you about calling more often.' She jested poking his elbow,  
'Hey no distracting the driver.' He replied, 'you’re right I do need to call them every time I think about it it is the wrong time of day.' He added.  
'So I hear you have rented some swish little house out here in the posh part of town.' She said, 'Mr I will never move to LA.'  
'Well it made more viable sense considering I was doing three movies back to back to rent somewhere rather than always staying in a hotel, sometimes it is nice to just sit back and relax on your own sofa you know?'  
'Oh yeah I get what you mean. We are currently sans sofa at the moment…and we are using paint tins as tables but there we go.'  
'Redecorating?' he asked,  
'Well decided to sell my house, I spend most of my time at Sam's anyway and his is bigger and has off-street parking, that’s like better than sex for London.' He said, Ben just gripped the wheel harder and nodded, 'and it has more bedrooms for the kids.' She added,  
'Kids?! You know it's traditional to get knocked up after the wedding.' He said feeling his mouth go dry and his palms sweat. Rosie punched his leg,  
'Cheeky fucker! I am not pregnant. I meant future kids, hopefully we should hear in the next few days if the sale is going through.' She added, 'it's all so exciting.'  
'Yeah.' He sighed pulling through the security gate to the community where he lived, 'you certainly have grown up in a year.' He added as he parked the car and they all climbed out,  
'I had to at some point.' She said looking up at his house all modern sleek wood, stainless steel and glass. The front was all wood panelling with large picture windows that looked out on the valley below a balcony wrapping around the side of the house,  
'Woah they must be paying you more than I thought…have they seen you act…' she said her mouth open feeling his shoulder nudge her,  
'Are you gonna take the piss out of me the whole time you are here?' he asked, she bit her lip mock thinking,  
'Yeah, yeah I am.' She replied dragging one of her cases through the door and looking around seeing the interior reflected the outside with dark floors and leather furniture the walls a simple ivory colour mirrors reflecting the light around the room, all dotted with mod cons. 'This is a really nice house.' She said,  
'Babe that was the hire car company they need me to go sign some paperwork the cab is here so I will be back in about an hour if I can find this place again.' He said,  
'Here this will get you through the gate.' Ben said handing him an electronic tag, Rosie reached up standing on tiptoes kissing him making Ben turn his head for a moment pretending to check his phone.  
'See you guys in a bit, anything you want me to pick up on the way home babe?' he asked,  
'No I think I remembered everything…' she said scrunching up her face. 

 

As soon as he left Ben turned to her,  
'Right let’s show you your room and then get the kettle on.' He said picking up one of her bags attempting to look like it didn’t weigh a thing carrying it up the stairs and placing it down opening a door, 'if you had said you were bringing a guest…' he said indicating the twin guests turning to see Rosie standing with her hands on her hips her eyebrow raised. 'Ok I'm joking this is actually my housemates room you are down here come on.' He said dragging her bag into the spare room dominated by a California king bed the whole room in neutral colours,  
'This is more like it.' She said,  
'Demanding as well now.' He said shaking his head barely getting his eyes closed as she swung the pillow towards his face striking it, 'woman be careful of the money maker!' he said grabbing a pillow landing it squarely on her bum as she hit his chest diving onto the bed for safety barely getting her footing before her legs where swooped out from under her and she landed in the middle of the bed. She felt Ben grab her ankle dragging her down the bed her top riding up in the process as he hit her stomach with the pillow feeling hers hit his arm; Ben climbed on top of her pinning her down with his legs before securing one arm feeling her bat away at his side with the only free hand she had and he smiled a sly grin before tickling her making her squeal with annoyance,  
'Bene-dict-Ti-moth-y-Ca-rlt-on-Cum-ber-ba-tch!' she managed between gasps slapping at his bum with her hand feeling him relent for a moment. She moved her legs up his sides before running her hand down his chest making him look down frowning, 'ha!' she said as she flipped him over placing her hand on his chest pushing him down, she moved to grab the pillow pushing her full weight down on his hips before holding his right hand above his head with her free hand hitting him squarely with the pillow. She felt him grab her waist pulling her down crushing the pillow between them before removing it with his hand his extended arm not allowing her enough room to move forcing her to place it on the bed for support.  
'Disarmed!' he said laughing as she wriggled to get free pressing down on the one spot he would prefer she didn’t as his attention moved from anything to one pressing area. He looked up seeing she was inches from his face her hair now free of the clip it was in tumbling around his face in a sweet fruity scent her perfume evaporating from her cleavage that was in his face. 

 

Rosie looked down feeling the solid man beneath her, his thighs under her bum, his stomach contracted from the heavy breathing and his muscular chest heaving up to meet hers with every deep gulp of air his blue eyes now looking at hers his hair wild and fluffy from the static. She was acutely aware that in the moment she had tried to wiggle free he had begun to lie completely still and now if she chose to believe it she could feel a swell in his pants that was pressed against her. Ben licked his dry lips and she flicked hers down to watch the motion, his full lower lip disappearing between his white teeth and returning shining and moist; she realised that any man in this situation with a woman bouncing on their groin would have a problem not getting hard and she shook it out of her head releasing his hand and rolling onto her back,  
'You are such a child.' She said for something to say turning her head to look at him seeing his eyes closed, they opened again refocusing on her,  
'Missy you started it. I will leave you to unpack.' He said forcing himself up from the bed knowing that he stupidly let it slip, he had just laid all his cards on the table and he hoped that she hadn't noticed, and he knew he couldn’t let it slip again, drunken flirting was fine but getting a hard on was certainly not, not that other parts would agree with that, 'I'm going to grab a shower do you need anything before I do?'  
'No I should be alright, thanks though.' She said unzipping a bag and pulling out the slightly crumpled clothes beginning to hang them up, 'this I going to be a long month.' She said to herself hearing the shower start noting he had left his bedroom door open. After a good fifteen minutes she had finished two bags as she heard her phone let out a wail, 'damn I need an adaptor.' She said seeing the battery was dying knowing she had forgotten something, she knew Ben was bound to have one in his room and ventured in quietly hearing him humming to himself in the shower the door a little open. Rosie looked at the closest sockets seeing they were all in use before walking over to the bed sitting down on the edge, as more of a reflex she bent down inhaling the scent from one of the pillows smelling his musk and washing powder but nothing else, no scent of a girlfriend, no evidence as she looked around the room of stowed panties or tampons or even a hairbrush. 'Oh stop it.' She whispered to herself before seeing his phone plugged into an adaptor, 'perfect.' She said yanking the whole thing from the wall disentangling his cable and shoving it back behind the bedside cabinet. Just as she was standing up she heard a cough from behind her and she turned slowly to see Benedict leaning against the bathroom doorframe a towel wrapped around his waist his wet hair dripping onto his shoulders. Rosie watched him as he smirked crossing the room his bare feet padding into the soft carpet before stopping in front of her looking down at her hand, moments later he reached past her and into the drawer in which she noted his opened box of condoms finding a spare adaptor reaching down he went to plug his phone back in. Rosie took a moment to note how different his physique had become, his back now broad and muscular, defined shoulders and his bum that was always nice was now fuller, rounder, and more distinct. He also she had noted gotten a tan…almost everywhere that she could see.  
'I knew you would forget something.' He said rolling his eyes, 'now scoot you perv.' He said wafting her to the door closing it behind her shaking his head at her general incompetence. 

 

***

 

Benedict waited patiently in the kitchen keys in hand as Sam tapped at his phone.  
'So she hasn't gotten any better at being ready on time then.' Benedict said rolling his eyes, Sam chuckled looking up,  
'So how much do you know about me then?' he asked, 'I am intrigued.' Ben smiled,  
'I know you are built like a brick shithouse and could probably kill me with your little finger.' Ben laughed,  
'Well you're not too weedy yourself.' Sam replied smiling,  
'No seriously she has told me that you are a travel journalist and a wildlife buff, something like the new sexy David Attenborough were her precise words.' Ben confessed,  
'Hmm something like that...' Sam smiled,  
'Basically I flit between writing for things like National Geographic and normal newspapers. Although they have put some plans in the works for a new series sending me off to some remote locations to do a documentary on undiscovered species, one for adults and then a more educational series that links in for children with a series of educational material. Its going to be so fun nothing I like more than crawling through caves, jungles, rivers you name it.' he said his passion evident.  
'Excellent well congratulations seems it's all finally coming together.' Ben said,  
'For you too I hear, Rose is always saying how in demand you now are, becoming the big Hollywood A lister, it's always such a relief right when you have been plugging away at something you love for so long for it all to kick off.' he confessed and Ben had to agree.  
'Right here comes the grilling then, how long have you two known each other?'  
'Friends for about three years met her when we were doing a job for the same paper and then got together after about a year of flirting she finally agreed to go on a date with me which I fucked up because I was so nervous, second date went better took her to the zoo which meant at least I looked a little smarter. Then I guess she basically moved into mine after about a year or so and then we officially moved her in five months ago and I thought this is the one, she's the one I want to be with why wait any longer so I proposed and here we are.' he said, Ben was impressed and mildly annoyed that he couldn't used the "rushed into it" idea cursing himself that he had not spent as much time with her and concerned that she hadn't mentioned him...did she know he would be jealous, was she scared he would disapprove?  
'Well in that case all I have to say is congratulations, good luck she's a handful but you got yourself the best, most kind hearted, amazing woman I have known, treat her well or I will kill you...by attacking you from behind with no warning in the dark...with a heavy object...and still probably lose.' he said,  
'Who will be losing?' Rosie said from behind them finally dressed in a simple pair of maroon form fitting jeans covered in knee high black boots and a white vest covered with a floaty see through ivory top. Her hair was down and wavy still a little damp from the shower her hazel eyes now rimmed with smoky shadow her lips covered with gloss. Ben could feel his eyes sweep appreciatively up and down her body before he could stop himself,  
'Babe you look nice shall we go?' Sam said kissing her cheek as he opened the front door following her out waiting for Ben to close it before climbing into the car.  
'So some on my friends are going to crash dinner if that's ok?' Ben said as they drove into town,  
'Yeah sweet I would love to meet some of your friends find out some new things to blackmail you with.' She joked watching all the lights of downtown LA as they drove through it finally making it to Spago in the rich Beverly Hills district climbing from the car. Ben gave the keys to the valet taking his ticket and escorting the pair inside finding the greeter,  
'Evening, party of six under Cumberbatch.' He said, the man raised his eyebrow,  
'I don’t think I have a reservation under that name, I have a Mr Cucumber…' he said,  
'That will be me, Benedict?' he asked the man nodded,  
'Apologies.' He said picking up the menus, 'the rest of your party hasn't arrived yet so shall I set you up with some drinks while you wait?' he added as he sat them down.  
'Yeah that would be great thanks, are we going to want some wine?' Ben asked, Rosie nodded and Sam agreed, 'can I have a bottle of the pinot noir and a bottle of the muscadet please.' The man nodded and disappeared,  
'Oooh this looks good…' Rosie said, 'I am so hungry.' She added browsing the menu. 

 

Ten minutes later and Ben waved to someone across the room,  
'Evening guys.' He said getting up and embracing his friends, 'Rosie, Sam. This is Ewan the current house sharer and this is Chris and Zach some guys from the Star Trek shenanigans I did a few months back. Guys this is Rosie one of my oldest friends and her fiancée Sam.' He said, Sam politely shook their hands and Rosie did the same over enthusiastically making Chris look at her like she was insane. Zach and Chris sat opposite them and Ewan snuck in next to Ben who was currently filling Rosie's glass. As the waiter distracted them Ewan lent in,  
'So this is the girl you are in love with then.' He said in a hushed tone, Ben shot him a look,  
'I am not…' he hissed,  
'Oh sure, talk about her all the time, refusing the advances of all other women, have been looking like a puppy that just discovered chasing it's tail all week…nah of course you don’t love her.' He said winking, Ben scowled at him,  
'She's engaged.' He said flatly,  
'Is that a problem?' Ewan said his face serious,  
'Of course it’s a problem…not that I love her so…no it’s not a problem…I'm happy for her.' He replied,  
'Good well I'm glad you're happy for her.' Ewan said seeing Ben frown pouting a little before draining his wine glass.  
'What can I get for you two?' the waitress said her eyes flicking to Ben's blue eyes before down to his chest and up again, Ewan smiled as she looked at his left hand.  
'Umm pumpkin agnolotti and the New-York steak please.' Ben said,  
'Hmm carbonara and then the Maine black bass please.' Ewan added seeing the woman smile and walk away going to place their order. 'She was checking you out.' Ewan said, Ben snorted,  
'Ooh who was the hot blonde?' Rosie said, Ben went red,  
'No she wasn't.' he said,  
'Man I saw it from over here she even did the ring check.' Zach said, 'should I be jealous…' he mocked,  
'Piss off the lot of you she wasn't interested.' He added drinking his wine; Ben almost choked as Rosie gently patted his knee leaning in,  
'Hey this isn't like you. Normally you can take the jokes…what's wrong?' she asked quietly.  
'Nothing…nothing.' He looked into her eyes seeing her narrow hers. Rosie shook her head whispering in his ear,  
'I know you are lying to me Ben, I'm not going to push it but I really hope you tell me what's bothering you.' She said moving her hand and her body away. Chris, Zach and Ewan exchanged knowing glances at the two of them who if anyone didn’t know better looked like a couple.  
'So Rosie…Ben has told us nothing about you.' Chris said over the table,  
'Oh there isn’t much to tell.' She said swallowing her wine in a hurry, 'umm what do you want to know?' she said,  
'Well the basics, age, nationality, shoe size, favourite animal…' he said making her smile,  
'Well I am 27, English, uh size 8 umm UK size, favourite animal…giraffe.' She replied,  
'What do you do?' Zach asked rolling his eyes at his friend,  
'I am a journalist…' she said,  
'Oh god I retract everything I say tonight.' He joked,  
'Not that kind of journalist.' She giggled, 'I'm an environmental journalist, that's how I met Sam he's a nature writer slash broadcaster slash do you know I still have no idea what to class your job as.' She said looking at Sam,  
'Something like those, I write for National Geographic and then started to freelance at national newspapers, that’s how I met this one in a camp in Bolivia.' He said,  
'Yeah I was doing a piece about the Amazon rainforest and he was there in my bloody camp pissing about with monkeys.' She said smiling warmly at him. 'He's working on a piece about the marine life of the area so I'm sure I will be calling on you guys to keep me entertained. And I am doing a piece on the rise of low emission vehicles that LA has latched onto recently. Gave me a great excuse to come and see my Benji.' She said patting his shoulder  
'Benji?!' Chris snorted only to get a napkin thrown at him.  
'She is the only one who gets away with that.' He said.  
'Alright Benjikins keep your hair on.' Zach said as Rosie giggled.  
'So that's me…' she said as the food arrived and they all started eating. 

 

***

 

Ben looked around to check for the lurking photographers before whipping out his lighter and clicking the flint, just as he went to put it to his mouth he saw the flame go out as someone blew on it,  
'You told me you had quit.' Rosie said taking the cigarette from his mouth,  
'Well looks like we both decided to avoid the whole truth didn’t we.' He said nodding at her hand.  
'I didn’t think you would have approved.' She said biting her lip; Ben cupped her face forcing her to look at him,  
'Do you love him?' he asked, Rosie opened her mouth looking into his eyes knowing she couldn’t lie to him,  
'I do love him, I really do. He's nice, kind, sweet, charming, and funny, we have loads in common. We have the same interests and tastes. I don’t think I am going to find anyone like him.'  
'It's that which makes me think you are doing this for the wrong reasons.' He said,  
'You're drunk.' She said moving his hands feeling him grip her shoulders instead, 'Ben come on you know as well as I do I'm 28, in my line of work I am either going to be a spinster with cats or marry someone who knows what my job entails.'  
'You are beautiful, smart, funny, and sexy. You will be an amazing wife and mother so why are you settling for someone because you don’t think you will find anyone else.'  
'I didn’t mean it like that I meant, I can't imagine anyone else coming along that I want to marry. Just because you are hurtling towards your forties and you still don’t have a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, or a wife or kids it's not my fault!' she said her voice getting louder.  
'That is not why I am saying this; I care about you I don’t want you to have to settle for second best.' He said.  
'Well it's not your life it's mine! Why don’t you worry about yourself for once? I have someone to take care of me, and I can make my own decisions! You know I thought you would like this one. You know it looks like you are sad and jealous every time you shoot down my boyfriends. You ruin all my relationships with this cloud of doubt but you aren’t going to ruin this one!' she said moving his hands.  
'Rosie…Rose.' He called after her walking after her breaking into a jog before grabbing her arm, 'I'm sorry. Look you're right I am being jealous. When you get married everything will change you won't want to spend time chasing around the world with me.'  
'In case you hadn’t noticed Benedict since your career took off everyone has been left behind. Your parents, your friends, girlfriends all abandoned as you run around the world by yourself. I haven't seen you in a year so don’t you dare say that I am changing! I am moving on with my life, growing up, maybe you should open your eyes and see that.' She said pushing him away. 'I love Sam, I am marrying him whether you approve or not, but I would appreciate it if you could at least be civil to him. If it is too awkward we will go and stay in a hotel.' She said walking back inside. Ben ran his hands through his hair feeling like a right prick; he tapped another cigarette out of the packet lighting it and taking a few long drags feeling himself relax a little before trampling it out and heading back inside finishing off his mint on the way in. He noted as he sat down that Rosie had moved seats placing Sam in between them, sighing he took his place quickly downing the rest of his wine before dessert arrived noting Rosie was now deep in conversation about the environment with Zach, sighing he pushed his dessert around the plate just letting everyone else talk.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologise in advance for the spelling mistakes...
> 
> Everybody loves poker night...especially drunk poker night...

Ben tried to jam the pillow over his head to block out the muffled sex noises from the next room giving up he forced the covers back and padded his way outside in his t-shirt and underwear picking up his cigarettes and lighting one. He lent on the balustrade taking a small puff looking down on the valley below seeing all the LA lights twinkling below him and he tried to let his mind drift away.  
'It’s actually kind of beautiful isn't it?' Rosie said from next to him taking the cigarette from him and sneaking a quick puff,   
'Naughty.' He said,  
'Only if you tell on me. Did we wake you?' she said blushing, Ben shook his head,  
'Nah I was awake. What about you? Shouldn’t you be snoring by now?'   
'Bloody jet lag.' She said adjusting her underwear so that it sat on her bum properly leaning down on the metal bar as well. 'I don’t think I could live here all the time it would do my head in.' she said, Ben stubbed out the rest of his cigarette exhaling,  
'Me either. I only wanted to spend a few months here and then I was planning to come back to London, but then I kept being offered things which were stupid to turn down and weeks turned into months and now it has been over a year.' He said sighing,  
'Are you happy Ben?' she asked placing her hand on his back rubbing it in small circles.  
'God's honest truth I'm fucking miserable.' He replied resting his forehead down on his arms.   
'Ben…' she said with sympathy, 'why don’t you come home?' she said, 'just take a break from filming and come home for a week or two.' She said,  
'I can't literally there is no time, I mean I get the odd day off here and there but I spend them doing promotion for something or another and I have a good set of friends around here but I don’t know there is something missing for me. It is so vacuous here; everyone is more concerned about how they look, what they eat, what they wear and who they know. They hound you all the time for every little thing and I am no Brad Pitt.' He said,  
'Come on man you are stacked! Look at these.' She said squeezing his bicep making him laugh a little, 'and these.' She said moving her hands to his chest feeling him move a little closer,  
'But there is still this.' He pointed at his face. Rosie placed her hand on his cheek kissing his other softly,  
'I will not ever let you beat yourself up about this. You are handsome, talented, kind and have an ass you could bounce a quarter off of.' She said feeling him smile his hands wrapping around her shoulders.   
'What is it with you and my ass, first you were checking it out now you can’t stop referring to it…do you want to touch it or something?' he said. Rosie lent back a little looking down running her hand deliberately down his chest, across his newly acquired abs and around his hips licking her lips before slipping it down onto his ass seeing his chest rise and fall. She darted her eyes back up to his face seeing his eyelids flicker shut as she squeezed lightly at first increasing the pressure seeing his lips part ever so slightly.   
'Just as I suspected.' She said,  
'Hmm?' he breathed his eyes opening,  
'Firm, round, altogether pleasant glad you didn’t disappoint.' She said,  
'I am to please.' He almost stammered wanting to scream when she moved away. They jumped apart a little as they heard a noise and a light in the hallway go on,  
'I should go to bed gotta be up early tomorrow.' Rosie said,  
'Me too. Sleep well.' He said as she retreated round to her side of the house. 

The next morning Rosie felt the quiet of the house and crept downstairs, she made her way into the kitchen flicking on the kettle and finding the coffee putting some in the cafetiere before pouring the water in finding herself a mug and taking it to the table. She dug around in her bag for her reading glasses finally finding them and sticking the tape back down on the arm before balancing them on her face as she flicked open her laptop waiting an age for it to power on. Pouring herself some coffee she added some sugar sipping it feeling the caffeine work into her system as she opened up her emails seeing she had at least ten already before she realised the time difference. She replied to a few before she began reading all the material for her new report. Ben felt the sunlight filter through the curtains he had left partially open and he drifted awake; he rubbed his eyes trying to acclimatise to the world before he padded downstairs. He paused in the doorway of the kitchen watching his friend as she worked methodically through some paperwork her glasses slipping off of her nose occasionally, his eyes darted down her body as she balanced her foot on the stool her leg twitching up and down as she concentrated her legs bare and her body covered with a baggy t-shirt that read "I am SHER locked" in a way that had now become instantly recognisable. Ben let his imagination run wild as he watched her, how he could walk over right now run his hand across her leg turn her round. How her lips would feel against his, the press of her body filled with urgent desire, shaking his head he snapped himself out of it as he looked down at her left hand reminding him she was engaged.   
'Morning.' He said padding in, 'what are you writing?' he asked leaning down next to her at the table, Rosie covered her screen with her hands,  
'No don’t read it; it's not anywhere near finished yet.' She said,  
'Alright let me read it when it's done.' He said grabbing a cup and pouring himself some coffee, 'have you eaten?' he asked seeing her shake her head. 'You hungry?' he saw her nod chewing her pen. He walked into the far end of the kitchen diner and found some bowls pulling some ingredients out of the cupboard he began cracking and mixing all the ingredients whisking until he got cramp in his elbow before finding a pan and placing it over some heat. He started the pancakes off before finding the fruit in the fridge washing and chopping the strawberries; as he turned to put them in the bowl he felt Rosie sidle in behind him grabbing one,  
'Mmm…smells good.' She said hugging him, 'are you feeling better this morning?' she asked seeing him nod as he flipped the pancakes, and he slapped her hand away as she went to eat another,   
'Patience woman, now go sit down.' He said seeing her move the bowl of strawberries to the table continuing to pick at them. He flipped the stack of pancakes onto a plate taking over two empty ones and a bottle of maple syrup and placed them on the table seeing she had found some cutlery.   
'These are amazing Batch.' She said as she tucked in feeling how ravenous she was, 'better get these down me before Sam comes back from his run.' She said,  
'Not a fan of chocolate chip pancakes with maple syrup and fruit.' He said sarcastically, Rosie pointed her fork at him,  
'I don’t like your tone mister. Nah he's on a general keep fit routine so I sneak the odd treat every now and again without him knowing but he always seems to find out.' She said eating another, just as she finished she heard Sam come through the door and she quickly moved her plate away wiping her mouth as he walked through the door shining with sweat,  
'Morning babe, morning Ben.' He said grabbing some water  
'How was your run?' she said,  
'Pretty good, 6k in 35 dead.' He said, 'I'm gonna grab a shower and head off to the coast they want me there ASAP to start researching.' He said,  
'Ok.' She replied,  
'What are you two doing today?'  
'I am going to make a start on this article and Ben is learning his lines. But if I can tear him away he might show me some sights.'  
'Well don’t wait up babe.' He said kissing her before making his way upstairs. Ben waited for him to get out of earshot and turned to look at her raising an eyebrow,  
'What?' she said placing her hands on her hips,  
'Three things, the pancake thing bothers me, why should he dictate what you eat, two who says ASAP anymore? And three this babe thing…really…babe…how eugh! Does he come from Essex or something?' he said making Rosie laugh,  
'Actually yeah he does come from Essex and yes I hate it as well but I tried to get him to change and it didn’t work so now I live with it. Better than oy!' she said, 'and people say ASAP…not cool people I admit but people…and I can eat pancakes but you know why make an argument if you don’t have to.' She said getting up clearing the plates. 'Now go learn your lines and leave me in peace.' She said going back to her work. 

***

Benedict dropped a stack of leaflets and printed pieces of paper in front of Rosie seeing her eyes flick from her computer to the pile,  
'Can I help you?' she said,  
'Now you can’t be working the whole time so we are going to decide on some fun activities.' He said,  
'What is this need you have for planning things?' she said munching on some cheese and crackers,  
'I like there to be some kind of plan it appeals to my OCD side.' He said, 'now there are some events. There is a charity fundraiser Zach is organising for American Foundation for Equal Rights. Then I have a premiere for Skyfall coming up which you are welcome to come with if you want.'  
'You mean I have to dress up and play nice for the cameras?' she said,  
'Yes that is generally how it works.' He said trying to steal some of her cheese getting swatted away,  
'Get your own, ok so give me some more ideas.' She said,  
'Well there are some nice trails in the mountains if you still like to cycle, I have been meaning to try some out, I have a few days off in a fortnight and we could camp make a weekend of it?' he said,  
'Now that is more my kind of thing.' She grinned, 'and we have to have a night out as well, show me the seedy dens of LA. Now your style guru is here we can go and get you some new clothes because continually wearing the free ones you get from photo shoots is getting a little predictable.' She said seeing him raise an eyebrow.   
'What's wrong with this?' he said looking down at his blue shirt and grey trousers held up by braces. Rosie lent forward gripping the elastic and pinging it back against his chest, 'bloody hell! Ouch!' he said seeing her giggle before rubbing his chest in mock sympathy,  
'It tempts people to do that.' She said. 'What else?' she added rifling through some, 'oooh beach we have to go to the beach.' She said, 'ooh ooh ooh and the zoo. And and Benji…' she said yanking his hand, 'universal studios!'   
'When are we going to have time?' he said,   
'Benji please…please…' she said, he rolled his eyes,  
'Fine we will find a day.' He said as she hugged the air out of him. Ben extracted himself from her grip, 'right I need some ciggies.' He said patting his pockets finding his wallet and collecting his keys.  
'Ben come on you promised me you would quit.'   
'Fine I promise you by the time my first kid comes along I will be an ex-smoker.' He said making her roll her eyes,  
'Yeah oh look a flying pig. Scoot and let me finish my work.' She said. Just as the front door slammed shut she saw Ben's phone begin to ring and she picked it up, 'hi Ben's phone, he's just popped out.' She said   
'Oh hey it's Zach I was just going to check Ben is all set for poker night his turn to host.' He said Rosie bit her lip,  
'Cool yeah, umm how many of you are there?' she asked,  
'Ewan, Ben, Chris and Jon my other half and me.' He replied,  
'Right is there a food component?' she asked hearing him laugh,  
'He has forgotten hasn't he?' Zach asked,   
'Yeah but it's not a problem I can sort something out just come round whenever.' She countered,  
'Well we will be around about seven thirty and we will bring the drinks.' He replied, 'see you.' He hung up. Rosie looked around the kitchen opening some of the cupboards and the fridge before sighing and grabbing her purse heading for the door knowing they couldn’t survive on breadsticks and mouldy cheese. Just as she shut the front door she saw Ben pull up,   
'No get back in we have to go shopping.' She said,  
'Why?' he asked putting his seat belt back on,  
'Poker night.'  
'Fuck!' he reversed out and made his way back to the supermarket.  
'They will be round about 7.30.' she added. 

***

Ben wiped flour onto his forehead again hearing Rosie giggle,  
'Woman why couldn’t we just buy pastry.' He said trying to sift the flour again  
'Because did you see all the crap that was added to it.' She retorted,  
'Well this is the land of processing.' He said wiping his hands onto his navy t-shirt that was mostly white. She finished off the pizza dough for him,  
'For the love of god man just chop those.' She said handing him a board with some vegetables and salad items and a knife. Ben set about his task arranging the carrots and celery neatly tossing the salad in the bowl. 'What time is it?' she asked,  
'Seven.' He said checking his watch.   
'Maybe you should change.' She looked down, Ben agreed leaving her too it. Fifteen minutes later the doorbell rang,  
'I'll get it.' Ewan hollered. Rosie put the bread in the oven taking the tartlets out and putting them on a rack to cool.  
'Hey Rosie.' Chris said dropping his contribution on the floor next to the fridge placing half of them inside. Zach added his wine and Jon placed his bottle of whiskey and a bottle of tequila on the table.  
'So I went a bit crazy on the food.' She said, 'I hope you are hungry I thought we should probably eat first so grab a drink and get comfy.' She said as Ewan shouted up the stairs at Ben hearing him bounding down moments later. Between the three of them they moved all the food to the table quickly  
'How long are you here for? How many more nights can we fit in?' Chris joked, 'seriously Ben how have you not pinned this woman down?' he said being shot a look.   
'Please we would kill each other with sarcasm.' Rosie said getting the pizza out and cutting it up, 'so I made half of this stuff veggie because this man was useless at telling me if any of you are meat shunners. Ben made the pizza dough so if it's awful blame him. And there is cous cous, salad, these tartlets are the tomato and pepper ones and these have pancetta…here is the bread and the chicken will be another few minutes.' She said walking back to the stove.  
'Wow this is amazing thanks.' Jon said,  
'Just wait until dessert.' Ewan said, 'woman come and eat something.' He added as she brought the chicken over sitting down,  
'Damn it drink.' She said and Ben pushed her down,  
'I will get it.' He licked his fingers making her a gin and tonic before sitting back down,  
'Now she never even had to tell you what she wanted, none of my friends would know that.' Chris noted,  
'That’s because none of us like you enough.' Ben teased. 

***

Ben tossed his cards down,  
'I hate this fucking game.' He said frowning pushing his chair back,  
'You know for such a good actor you are shit at keeping a poker face.' Zach noted. Ben padded to the kitchen seeing Rosie sitting on the breakfast bar swinging her legs absorbed in a cook book she had purchased earlier,  
'Lost another hand?' she said without looking up, Ben got himself another beer topping up her wine glass at the same time before going to stand in front of her placing his hands on her thighs,   
'You didn’t have to tidy up.' He said,  
'Well men don’t seem to understand that washing up means that you have to wash the items…' she said sipping her wine.  
'What are you looking at?' He said trying to read upside down,  
'Some barbecue fish recipe.' She said finally looking up frowning, 'Benji why do you insist on doing that to your hair?' she said running her fingers through it moving his slicked back fringe back over his forehead, 'you know it makes you look old, even worse when you gel it, you aren't 46 man!' she said exasperated,  
'Yes mother.' He teased hearing Jon walk in,  
'I'm out too.' He said getting another drink, 'hey Rosie why don’t you come and play.' He said noting how close they were but neither seemed to spring away as if they were up to something.'   
'Are girls allowed?' she asked,  
'Sure guys, gays, girls the more the merrier.' He said she shrugged jumping off and following them into the room grabbing a chair. Rosie knew if they started playing for money she would be screwed but she looked at her hand keeping her face straight looking round seeing instantly that Jon and Ben were bluffing, Ewan folded and Chris shortly after leaving her and Zach fighting it out.   
'Straight.' Zach said,  
'Flush.' She replied seeing him toss his cards down. After an hour Chris lent in,  
'How about we up the ante.' He sais,  
'Guys I don’t earn anywhere near as much as you.' Rosie said,  
'don’t worry if you win you are safe, if you fold you drink one shot and if you lose you drink two.' He said,   
'You better line me up ten now.' Ben said making them all laugh thankful he had gone easy earlier on. A few hands later and Ben was trying to catch up with the volume of drinks in front of him as was Jon. Chris, Ewan, Zach and Rosie were all pretty much equal.   
'God I can barely see my cards.' She said squinting, 'I fold.' She said taking her shot almost falling from the chair forcing Ben to hold her up.  
'I really think you should sit a few rounds out.' He said, she saluted him,  
'Yes father.' She replied sipping some water feeling it had no effect,  
'Damn empty.' Chris said,  
'You know we could always play spin the bottle.' Zach said, Rosie grinned,  
'I'm game.' She said as they retired to the floor flopping down in a circle. Zach span and it landed on Ben.  
'Truth.' He said,  
'Have you two ever kissed?' Zach asked, Rosie snorted,  
'Nope.' Ben said and spun it,  
'Chris?'  
'Umm truth.' He replied,  
'Umm I can't think of a good one…ever been arrested?'  
'Once for pissing off a police officer I called him a dick when I was drunk.' He said making the assembled party laugh. 'Rosie.' He said,  
'Truth.' She said,  
'Ever had a threesome?' Rosie blushed,  
'Yes.' She replied making Ben's mouth drop open.  
'Two dudes or two chicks?' Chris followed up.   
'That’s another spin.' She poked her tongue out seeing it land on Zach, 'umm have you ever slept with a woman?'  
'Once, definitely not a vagina man.' He said, 'Jon.'   
'Truth definitely.'   
'Did you use autotune on Glee?' Jon threw a cushion at him,  
'No you dick.' He said, 'Rosie.'   
'I am gonna say dare.' Jon grinned and looked at the others,  
'I dare you to kiss Ben…with tongues.'   
'Come on that's not entirely fair what if I say no?' he pointed out,  
'Then when it gets to you we will dare you.' He said,  
'She's engaged guys come on.' He said knowing they were doing this on purpose,  
'Ben don’t worry I wasn't planning on screaming it from the rooftop.' She moved across the circle wetting her lips.   
'Oh and Ben…' he looked across, 'no touching.' Jon added. Rosie half straddled Ben's lap seeing him clear his throat his bright blue eyes boring into hers as he wet his lips. She slipped her hand into his hair tilting his head back her palm cupping his jaw the other resting on his chest. He was sure she would feel his heart hammering out of his chest and then it stopped. Everything stopped as her lips pressed against his, soft wet warmth against his own her bottom lip slipping in between his as her fingers flexed against his chest her nails scraping against his sensitised scalp as her fingers tugged at his hair. He dared not move knowing everyone was watching him waiting for his hands to move to grab her or twitch and grip the floor but he forced his body to be still. Rosie felt his chest involuntarily move to her touch and she knew he would be in control; she was almost enjoying watching him trying not to move. Her mind suddenly realised that as much as she wanted to tease him her body wanted other things from the man trapped beneath her thighs. Her breathing became sharp intakes of breath matching his on her cheek, her body had dropped wanting to be closer to his. Rosie let her fingers play with his soft curls stifling the moan that almost escaped as her tongue broached his mouth for the first time ever. She tilted her head allowing her mouth better access, Ben flicked his tongue against hers revelling in the taste of her mouth as she did the same. Rosie emboldened by his response thrust her tongue deeper connecting with his as they kissed. Just as he felt the urge to reach up cup her soft curves and touch her face she broke away her eyes opening finding his. It was then the room came back to him so silent you could hear a pin drop. Rosie composed herself quickly hoping that Ben hadn't noticed she had become too carried away, when he looked up at her with those eyes and flushed just kissed lips she wanted to do it again and again and the thought shocked her. She climbed off and resumed her seat as if nothing had happened and all Ben wanted to do was tell everyone to leave so they could do that for the rest of the night.   
'Ah ha Ewan truth or dare?' she said her voice snapping Ben back to reality Ewan grinned,  
'Seems only fair - dare.' He said making her smile,  
'I dare you to go skinny dipping.'  
'Easy.'  
'In next door's pool.' She added, Ewan lent forwards spinning the bottle seeing it land on Ben,   
'Fine as long as he does it with me.' He said nodding at him. Ben rolled his eyes getting up following them all out into the garden. They sidled up to the wall stripping down to their underwear before vaulting the wall,  
'Ok on three.' Ben said, 'one, two, three.' They both whipped off their underwear tossing them back over the wall and sprinted to the pool and jumped in. As soon as they broached the water the security lights snapped on and the dogs started barking; both of them swam to the edge hauling their bodies out just as the lights in the house snapped on,  
'Hurry up guys!' Chris shouted. They raced back to the wall vaulting it and sprinting to the safety of the house Ben crashing into Rosie who was barely standing up from laughing covering his modesty with his hands unlike Ewan who was showing the whole world everything.   
'Come on guys you will freeze.' She said closing the doors,   
'On that note I am going to jump in the shower.' Ewan said,   
'Yeah me too, god that cheap bastard doesn’t heat his pool.' Ben said,   
'That explains things then.' Rosie wiggled her eyebrows. Ben pushed her,  
'Fuck you! I have never had any complaints.' He said,  
'Hey how was I to know you are a grower not a shower.' She said making the other guys laugh.  
'Damn we should make a move.' Chris said,  
'Buggar that you can crash on the other bed in Ewan's room, you two can have the double bed and I will crash with Ben. Seems stupid for you to go home at this time of night.' She said.   
'Alright then if you're sure.' Zach said,   
'Yeah bedrooms are upstairs; I am going to go to bed.' She said grabbing two glasses of water and making her way upstairs stopping to pick up her towel some clothes and pyjamas adding her toiletries to the pile and walking into Ben's room closing the door. She placed her items on the bed hearing the shower turn on and she picked up her phone seeing she still had no message from Sam,  
"Hope the work is going well, when do you expect to be back? Missing you. Night xxx"   
She sent before turning her phone off and making her way into the bathroom,  
'Jesus you scared me.' Ben said, 'here pass me a towel will you?' he said holding his hand out of the frosted door feeling it placed in his hand, he dried his chest and legs before wrapping it around his waist and stepping out of the shower ruffling his hair and stepping over to the mirror looking at his reflection, 'god I'm wasted.' He said,  
'So am I.' Rosie added leaning against the edge of the sink brushing her teeth watching him do the same,  
'I assume they are staying the night?' he mumbled getting toothpaste on his chin.   
'Yeah well it seemed pointless them trying to get cabs at this time of night.' She replied rinsing her mouth out and brushing her hair, she closed the door as Ben left quickly using the toilet washing up before heading out into the room.   
'Good point. God it doesn’t normally get that mad.' He said slipping on some underwear and hanging up his towel. 'Thanks for cooking.' He added,  
'Well someone had to, and I don’t think that I wanted to eat Tuscan chicken again.' She teased slipping her jeans off and folding them up before pulling her t-shirt off doing the same. Ben watched her as she reached up behind her back taking off her bra, he had seen her mostly naked before but this time it was different somehow like he shouldn’t be looking and yet he wanted too. She covered her bare skin with a sleeveless nightdress and turned making him fumble for a vest of his own watching her pull back the covers and slipping in. He coughed as he plugged his phone in,  
'Oh is this your side?' she asked scooting over,  
'Well I normally sleep in the middle these days so I'm not bothered.' He slipped in beside her turning the lights off the glow of the light from outside casting the room in an orange hue.   
'About that kiss…' she said turning on her side to face him.  
'It's fine it was a dare…' he replied trying not to look at her remaining resolutely on his back,  
'I just wanted to make sure…I mean that you were ok with it…and that we were agreed we don’t need to tell Sam…' she said,  
'Well it was a kiss between friends…harmless…' he added,  
'Yes of course.' She nodded. 'Well goodnight.'   
'Goodnight.' He said closing his eyes, Rosie looked at him and she felt her blood pump harder round her body,  
'I mean you were faking it right…acting.' She added seeing his eyes open.  
'I wasn’t the one dictating the kiss, so I didn’t really need to act.'  
'But the cold fish act all aloof that was acting I mean I'm not that unkissable right?' Ben laughed quietly,  
'You think even if they wouldn’t have ripped me to shreds for it that I wouldn’t have touched you?' Rosie bit her lip,  
'So what would you have done?' she asked and he knew the tone had changed. Ben's alcohol was wearing off and he knew she was still drunk and almost as bold as day she had just asked him to kiss her, to show her how he really felt and he longed to do it, to hell to the consequence but deep down he knew that if it were to ever happen they needed to be on a completely consensual even playing field not half pissed and horny. He smiled and ticked her waist rolling her onto her back and plated wet sucking kisses on her neck,  
'Why my darling I would have ravished you right then and there, be damned with them all!' he said in a posh voice until she slapped him away.  
'You’re silly Benji, but I do love you for it.' She said cuddling up to him,  
'And I love you too.' He replied honestly before tucking her in hearing her fall quickly asleep trying to do the same himself.


	3. Chapter 3

Rosie heard the door click closed downstairs and she sat upright listening to see if someone was coming or going, as she heard someone walk into the kitchen she threw the covers back making Ben grumble awake. He put his arm over her waist,  
'Sleep time…' he said turning over pinning her down, Rosie shoved his arm,  
'Someone's here.' She said rubbing her eyes feeling Ben sit up,  
'Isn't it Sam?' he reasoned, she shrugged,  
'Maybe…' she said pushing the covers off of her and pulling her nightdress down rearranging her underwear not bothering to be self-conscious in front of Ben.  
'Shall I come with you?' he asked,  
'No I'm being silly…I'm paranoid since the break in.' she mumbled, Ben sighed his conscious not letting him lie there,  
'Hang on I'm coming.' He said feeling the cool air and his head throb. 'What do you mean since the break in?' he whispered as they crept downstairs noting all the other doors were closed,  
'About a month ago my flat was broken into when I was in bed I was too scared to do anything so I lay there and pretended I was asleep.' She said, Ben stopped her a moment,  
'That's awful…shit. Woman let me go first.'  
'You are going to be a manly man are you?' he raised an eyebrow flexing a bicep in front of her face, 'point taken.' She said letting him lead the way. Ben looked around for anything reasonably menacing seeing nothing he burst into the kitchen. A redheaded woman screamed throwing the teabags in the air,  
'Fucking hell Ben!' she said as she picked them all up.  
'Helen? What are you doing here?' he asked,  
'It's seven, you told me to come round at seven…you are filming today…' she said seeing his blank face her eyes flicking to the woman hiding behind him barely clothed as well.  
'Jesus I did as well.' He said running his hands through his hair. 'Shit sorry Rose.' He said, Rosie shrugged a little,  
'It’s ok, sorry I overreacted, and I thought Sam would have been home by now.' She added, 'sorry Helen, sorry.' She said rubbing her eyes and retreating out of the room making her way back upstairs,  
'Hel give me a minute.' Ben said, 'what time do we have to leave?' he asked,  
'Umm you need to be in make up in an hour.' She said, 'look I'll make you some coffee you can go and umm get dressed, sort out the love life?' she said,  
'That is definitely not the problem. She's one of my best friends and she recently had her house broken into. Oh and she's engaged.' He said a little bit too harshly seeing her face look worried, 'look give me ten minutes and we can go.' He said making his way upstairs and into his bedroom where Rosie was now standing on the balcony checking her phone. She jumped a little as Ben placed his hands on her shoulders running them down her arms; she relaxed into his embrace,  
'Sorry about that, god so embarrassing.' She said holding her head in her hands, Ben moved them away, 'she obviously thought we were shagging.' She added,  
'No she didn’t, its fine, don’t worry.' He lied, 'anyway I told her you are my best friend and I think she got that.' He said, 'has he still not called?' he added seeing her shake her head, 'he will. Look if you aren't working today come with me to set you can keep me amused and I can keep you distracted.' He said, she turned feeling him almost pinning her to the wall, Rosie looked up into his eyes that were a little concerned,  
'Ben I don’t want to get in the way, and I don’t want people to talk.' She said,  
'Who gives a fuck what anyone says and you won't be in the way you can just sit and watch or work or whatever. Come on.' He said flashing his puppy-dog eyes. Rosie smiled,  
'God don’t do that to me…ok fine.' She said, 'what are we gonna do about the others?' she said,  
'Ewan can sort them out.' He said,  
'Benedict…we need to leave.' Helen called up the stairs, Ben grabbed a t-shirt and pulled his old one off tossing it into the hamper and looking around finding some jeans and some clean underwear, and Rosie couldn’t help but sneak a peak at his firm round bum before he slipped the pants and jeans on yanking the t-shirt over his head and trying to flatten his hair a little failing. Rosie snapped out of her trance and pulled her skinny jeans on finding her bra and quickly shuffling it on before finding one of Ben's white t-shirts and yanking it on quickly brushing her teeth and using the bathroom before racing downstairs pulling on some heeled boots and tying up her hair.  
'Do I smell awful?' she whispered, Ben lent in smelling only perfume and shower gel feeling his stomach flutter,  
'You smell good actually.' He replied as she grabbed her bag and followed them out,  
'Is she coming?' Helen said looking up from her phone,  
'Yeah she did fly across an ocean to see me, so it makes sense for us to hang out.' He said dropping into the back of the car feeling Rosie squash in next to them as Helen was forced into the front seat,  
'Hmm ok then.' She said as the driver pulled away. 

***

Helen drained the last of her second free coffee and heard her phone ring almost jumping out of her seat,  
'Sam? Hi.' She said making Ben frown at how easily she jumped for this man as if he was holding something over her,  
'She loves him.' He reminded himself,  
'Yeah you could have called me though I know you get engrossed but even a text to say you hadn't drowned or something.' She said, 'no I realise that you might not have had signal but you must have at some point.' She added,  
'Babe come on I didn’t do it on purpose my phone died I have just managed to get it charged now and I am ringing you, what do you want me to do?' he said,  
'I am just saying I was worried ok I am fine now I know you are safe. How is the project going?' she said making her way outside of the set and into some street that resembled New York and she sat down on one of the steps.  
'Oh my god babe it's amazing!' he said, 'the diversity out here is awesome. At the moment we are looking at the sharks and rays. I spent most of the day in the water yesterday and there is so much more we can do I think this will be an amazing piece.' He added,  
'How long are you going to be out there?' she asked as a man looked at her making her move a little further down the set and round a corner entering what looked like a desert her eyes widening as everyone scurried to sort things out.  
'Well I was thinking a few days which I know it's a pain as we wanted to see each other at least a little but it looks like this is going to take most of the month. I am only 50 minutes away and I can pop back and you can come and see me.' He said hearing her sigh,  
'Sam come on we are supposed to be spending more than 2 days together.' She said,  
'Well you have Ben to keep you entertained you keep saying how you wish you could see him more often and he will look after you, he's a decent guy Rose I like him…don’t think he's too keen on me though god knows why I haven't upset him I don’t think…' he said Rosie felt her heart hammer in fear a little, Sam was more perceptive than she gave him credit for.  
'Look he doesn’t know you and he has always been protective of me. It was a bit of a bomb drop with the news of us give him some time and he will come round. Oh and I told him he has no choice.' She said hearing him laugh.  
'I love you babe I gotta go though. What are your plans this week?' he asked,  
'Ben and I are going to do some camping and cycling this weekend and I guess I am going to be working most of this week I want to get it done and out of the way.' She said,  
'Well I will see if I can get back tomorrow for a bit, sorry again but this is how it's going to be.' He said,  
'I know but it sucks. I guess I will see you at some point, just remember to call me…daily!' she warned,  
'Yes babe don’t worry I got the message…all 12 of them.' He joked.  
'Speak to you soon, love you.' She said,  
'Love you babe bye.' Sam hung up. Rosie looked around seeing a man watching her,  
'Are you lost?' he said his kind eyes smiling,  
'Oh no I…' she looked around, 'I was just on a set…not this one.' She noted that the desert had moved behind her revealing a house.  
'What film are you with?' he asked running a hand through his greying hair adjusting his glasses a little,  
'Umm oh shit what is it called?' She cursed herself,  
'You are acting in a film that you don’t know the name of sure the director didn’t make a mistake?' he chuckled helping her up,  
'No I know it…it's uh…August County something…' she said,  
'Ah yes I know the one, and who are you playing?' he said indicting the direction.  
'Me oh no I don’t act, can’t act in fact. God no. I am with my friend he's the actor.' She said,  
'I'm Steven by the way.' He said,  
'Hi Rosie, so do you work here?' she said,  
'Temporarily.' He replied,  
'Are you being made redundant, it’s a huge problem in the UK I guess everywhere I am just glad I have my little job.' She said,  
'What do you do?' he asked as he walked them through different cities and eras turning corners with ease.  
'I am an environmental journalist.' She replied,  
'That sounds really interesting.' He said genuinely, 'I have always wanted to gent involved with environmental issues but I suppose I keep being drawn to humanitarian aid charities. I think it's probably the ignorance of knowing very little about the world I live in.'  
'Well the best way to keep the planet healthy is to start at home I mean America is terrible. Recycle, reuse, and reduce. Simple. You recycle everything you can and that means not just throwing it in the recycling bin but reuse carrier bags or take your own cloth ones, reuse the water bottle, ask for the Starbucks in a reusable travellers mug, try to buy food with less packaging, try to grow your own you don’t need to buy organic to help the planet but buying local is a start it means it didn’t waste energy travelling very far to get to your plate.' She said, he nodded,  
'Wow you are passionate I would love to pick your brain some time I have been looking at ways to make my work impact the environment less.' He said, Rosie waved at Ben who was now dressed in a brown suit,  
'Where did you go?' he said,  
'I got lost Steven had to redirect me.'  
'Ironic.' Ben said at her choice of words.  
'Morning Benedict friend of yours?' Steven said, 'I found her sitting in the middle of my transformers set.' He said giving Ben a hug hello.  
'One of the best.' He said, 'thanks for bringing her back.' He replied. Rosie turned round,  
'Your set?' she said before turning to Ben, 'is he?' she whispered, 'are you?' she looked at Steven before leaning in, 'holy shit!' she squealed, 'oh god and I was banging on about how they made you redundant.' She said her cheeks flaming making them both laugh. 'Oh Jesus and I nagged you about recycling!' she added.  
'It's ok but I said what I meant I want to pick your brain. Ben you coming to this charity thing of Zach's next week?' he said Ben nodded, 'are you bringing this firecracker as your date?' he asked,  
'Not strictly as my date but yes I'm dragging her along.' He said,  
'Well we will talk then.' He said shaking her hand as she stared at him,  
'Wow.' She said at him,  
'I will take that as a yes.' He replied, 'see you around.' He waved them off. She turned round hugging Ben,  
'I just met Steven Spielberg! I just wow! And he shook my hand…and he wants to recycle!' she said squeezing him, 'this - is - so - cool!' she squealed.  
'Are you going to be like this with everyone I introduce you to?' he laughed,  
'I don’t know how many cool people do you know?' she said,  
'I am going to say a lot…you do realise what my job is right? That these people are my friends? You know other people think I'm one of the "cool ones".' He said, Rosie snorted a little,  
'Oh Benji don’t be jealous it's not your fault you aren’t cool to me. You’re my Benji you don’t have to be super famous cool megastar Benedict with me.' She said hugging him, 'so let's go see you do this thing.' She said,  
'You mean acting?' he raised an eyebrow,  
'Yeah that's the stuff.' She replied letting him lead the way. 

Rosie sat quietly as everyone scurried around setting up the shot, she was amazed at the speed that cameras zipped in and out after orders thrown from people with light meters large white screens popped into place and the cast ran through their lines before putting their scripts away. She watched as a few scenes were shot and repeated until everyone was happy with their performance and then she saw Ben take his place waiting patiently until his make up was perfect.  
'Right so we need that raw emotion from you both.' The director said seeing them both nod. Rosie watched him immediately switch into character something she knew she would never be capable of doing his words spoken with such feeling resonated within her and she knew all she could do was focus in,  
'He's just so good.' She said to herself feeling the power of his words as he cried on screen her eyes welling up with him until a tear rolled down her cheek, the director shouted cut and everyone moved snapping her out of it as Ben walked behind the camera,  
'You ok?' he asked, she wiped her eyes sniffing,  
'You are so good…so good. I can't find a better way of saying that but just stunning, amazing, inspiring…good.' She whispered in his ear.  
'Thank you.' He said feeling a little shy, 'that actually means a lot.' He said looking at her.  
'Now I am going to get out of your way and nick your iPad.' She said picking up his bag and making her way into the trailer to the side of the set.  
'Hello, you're Ben's friend right?' a woman said,  
'Yeah hi I'm Rosie.' She said extending her hand,  
'Hi I'm Sue, would you mind me asking, I have some trainees here and they need a bit of practice, could I let them loose on you?' she asked,  
'Oh yeah sure, no cutting though.' She warned untying her long brown hair,  
'Oh no don’t worry just some styling.' She said, 'Jess, Subi I have found a willing volunteer.' She called and two women appeared tool belts strapped to their waists. 'Girls this is Rosie and she has given you scope so I suggest we start with an evening look.' She said. She felt herself being placed in a chair and Subi looked at her narrowing her eyes,  
'Wow loving your hair.' Jess said, 'is this natural colour?' she asked,  
'Yeah I can never be arsed to dye it too much effort.' She replied,  
'It's really nice.' She ran her fingers through her chocolate hair spritzing something into it before brushing it through, 'is your hair normally curly or straight?'  
'It's straight with a bit of a kink.' She said, 'and it's always a little flat.' She added,  
'Right then.' She said picking up the hairdryer and blasting her roots before adding some rollers as Subi started on her face adding sheer layers so that she didn’t feel her face was blocked but that she was covered. Rosie closed her eyes and let herself be pampered and preened, forty minutes later and they finally stepped back and the cloud of hairspray cleared.  
'Wow!' Rosie said leaning forward. Her eyes were rimmed in a winged dark shadow with shimmering tones, her hair was half up with volume and body pinned at the back of her head her normally straight hair now cascading past her shoulders in defined waves opening her face which was now buffed, polished and looking back at her her eyes dark and mysterious her lips defined in a pale nude lipstick and her cheekbones looked sharper than Ben's. 'Oh my god…you guys are miracle workers.' She said, hugging them both as she stood up.  
'Well we never normally get that reaction.' Jess said, 'you're welcome.'  
'What time is it?' she asked,  
'Umm just after four.' Subi replied. Rosie thanked them settling down to get some work done not noticing the time pass as she finished a third of her article before finally squinting as she moved her glasses some people walking in.  
'Oh hey we are finished for the day, you still waiting for Ben he shouldn’t be too long.' A woman said and a few moments later true to their word Ben walked in pulling off his brown jacket and undoing his tie,  
'Hey you finished for the day?' Rosie said as Ben stared at her. He had been forgetting his lines all afternoon, trying to be professional but all he could think about was last night, how Rosie had felt in his arms all night her breath on his neck, the way her soft skin felt under his hands. His mind was now working overtime as he looked at her, her hair beautifully coiffed and her make-up fit for the red carpet,  
'Dinner. We should go out to dinner.' He said looking her up and down, 'give me ten minutes.'  
'Oh really? Ok well I am gonna need to at least change.' She said, Ben nodded and went to say his goodbyes meeting her at the exit,  
'I hope you have a dress that can in some way compete with that face.' He said quietly making her blush,  
'Ben ssh…the girls needed a mannequin so I just sat still.' She said,  
'Don’t do that; don’t squash the compliments because you don’t believe you are worth them. Have I ever lied to you?' she shook her head, 'then look at me.' He lifted her chin looking into her eyes, 'you look stunning so let me take you out and show you off, you may not be mine but it doesn’t mean that I can't enjoy the pleasure of your company and having you on my arm just on loan.' He said making her blush harder,  
'Well in that case it's a date.' She said stepping into the car.


	4. Chapter 4

Rosie smiled to herself as she combed out her hair her mind replaying the last few days, how much fun she remembered Ben being as she remembered goofing around on set, how they had finally managed to sit down and have some decent conversation the night before setting the world straight on literature, films, politics, how they had reminisced about their time when they both used to run around London like they owned the city at the beginning of their twenties.   
'Almost thirty.' She said to herself looking at her face in the mirror, 'the cracks are showing.' She added rubbing her laughter lines. She let her moisturiser sink in before slicking on her eyeliner and mascara before picking up another bottle rubbing lotion into her hands and arms, she giggled to herself as she remembered karaoke night her throat still a little raw from the insistent Benedict who made her join him for every song,  
'Morning.' Someone said from behind her,  
'Well what time do you call this?' she said seeing Ben sit on the edge of her bed, 'my voice will never be the same again.' She added hearing him laugh,  
'A whiskey and a cigarette would sort that out, but seeing as you don’t smoke and it is ten in the morning I would suggest a cup of tea instead.' He replied,  
'Get brewing then.' She replied feeling a cushion hit her back,   
'Isn't it your turn to make breakfast?' He said,   
'Well I am meeting Sam in town for brunch and then we were going to go exploring so you will have to get your own.' She replied pulling a cardigan over her shoulders and dropping her purse into her handbag with an umbrella and her bottle of water.   
'Oh is he back?' he said a little disappointed,  
'Only for a few days, still on for the weekend though.' She added bending down and kissing his cheek, 'see you later.' She skipped out of the door, 'oh and Ben.'  
'Yeah.'   
'You have a date tonight.' She poked her head round the door.  
'I'm sorry with whom?' he asked,  
'The waitress I saw the napkin so I messaged her, you are meeting her tonight at seven in the chateau.' She said winking.  
'Woman I don’t need you to set me up, I am perfectly happy…'  
'Being alone, and the moping, come on Ben just go on the date get laid if you want and move on. Heaven forbid you might like her.' She said,  
'I will get my own back for this.' He replied narrowing his eyes,  
'You never know when I'm making a speech at your wedding I might remind you of your reluctance.' She teased,  
'God you would have me move a little fast.' He replied,  
'Oh speaking of weddings…you need to think up your umm best man's speech about me.'  
'You want me to make a speech at your wedding?' he blinked,  
'Of course you are my best friend and I didn’t think you would want to wear an off the shoulder maroon dress with drop waist so you can be my best man so to speak.' She said, 'I just assumed you would know that.' She replied walking towards him,   
'I would be…delighted…' he lied hugging her seeing her grin, 'now what embarrassing stories can I tell about you.' He mused feeling her hit his arm,  
'I will be vetoing it if you say things like that.' She said, 'now I really must go, I will talk to you later, there are some other things I need your help with.' She added waving as she walked out the door. Ben waited for her to make it down the stairs and the door to click shut before he flopped back on the bed grabbing her pillow and holding it over his head,  
'Fuckkkkkk!' he shouted. 

Rosie tapped her fingers on her coffee mug sipping some of the now cold liquid hearing her stomach rumble loudly. She sighed checking her watch seeing that Sam was now forty minutes late,  
'Can I get you some more coffee?' the waitress said,  
'Umm yes please and can I have some eggs and bacon please with wheat toast.' She added, the woman noted it all down pouring her some more coffee,  
'Coming right up.' She said whisking away. Rosie pulled out her phone scrolling to Ben's number noting Sam had still not called her back or replied to her messages. Her thumb hovered over the call button. Rosie shook her head looking up as her food arrived and she thanked the woman tucking in feeling ravenous as she finished in a few minutes draining her coffee, her phone rang making her jump,  
'Where the hell are you?' she said annoyed,  
'Babe I am so sorry I will be there in ten minutes I promise.'  
'I ate already.' She huffed,  
'I thought you would wait.' He said,  
'I did wait I waited forty bloody minutes and I was so hungry I ordered some food, and if you don’t like it you can learn for once to be on time!' she said hanging up. She signalled to the waitress, 'hi can I get a second cup of coffee and some eggs, sausage, bacon, wheat toast and mushrooms.' She said seeing her nod as Sam walked through the door. Rosie froze a little as Sam bent to kiss her cheek folding her arms,   
'Babe I am so sorry I lost track of time.' He said as his breakfast arrived,  
'You always lose track of time.' She hissed, 'why am I always the one that has to wait for you, why are you always more important than me?' she said,  
'Babe I can't help it, it's my job we only got back to the city twenty minutes ago.'   
'You have a phone, you know how to use it so why didn’t you?' she snapped, Sam tried to hold her hand but she moved it away.  
'I was in the middle of getting here I didn’t have time to stop and use my phone.' He argued his voice remaining calm,  
'I am tried of you using that excuse, you know I will be the one standing at the altar as you are an hour late and I won't stand for that, you need to get it together.' She said,  
'I promise I will try.' He replied,  
'Don't make a promise you have no intention of keeping.' She replied, 'eat up we have a busy day.' She added finishing her coffee. 

***

Ben looked through his wardrobe running his hand through his drying hair his other on his bare hip, he picked out a shirt before stuffing it back in and finding a grey t-shirt pulling it on before taking it off again finding a black polo shirt and slipping it on.   
'Right.' He said to himself wondering why he was so nervous considering he didn’t even want to go on this date. He picked out a pair of jeans, a pair of grey trousers and a pair of black suit trousers lining them up on the bed. He decided to go for jeans, 'casual.' He said slipping on the dark blue denim and a pair of navy suede shoes. Ben looked himself up and down trying to smooth back his unruly hair before giving up and spraying on some cologne looking at his reflection one last time before heading downstairs he saw Ewan in the kitchen,  
'Looking smart there boy.' he complemented.   
'Rosie has set me up on a bloody date hasn't she. With that waitress.'   
'Let me guess you would rather sit at home with me?' Ewan put his arm round his shoulder, 'well I have a Skype date with my wife so buggar off out pay for dinner and a bottle of wine and if she's not up to the standard of the love of your life then say had a nice night I won't be calling you goodbye, or if you like her kiss her and put her in a taxi and await round two.' he reasoned.   
'Yeah I suppose.' Ben sighed,   
'Oh and mate put in a shirt!' Ewan said. Ben did as instructed before getting in the taxi that was waiting for him trying to remember his rules of dating. He was early and he was hoping she wouldn't show but after being shown to his table he tried to at least act like he was enjoying himself. He browsed the menu trying to find something he wanted to eat sighing in that moment craving a home cooked roast dinner. He looked up as the young woman walked towards him smiling at him,  
'Good evening.' he said as he got up and pulled out her chair he slipped her coat from her shoulders hanging it on her chair,  
'You are the first man to ever do that.' she noted as he sat down opposite her pouring her some water.   
'Really? I am not going to pass comment on anyone who came before me.' he said raising an eyebrow that said all his words didn't.   
'Maybe I should be looking for British guys.' she said making him smile.  
'I would agree but I'm biased. So I'm going to be honest here my friends messaged you I was none the wiser.' he said, 'so let's start from the beginning I'm Ben.' he said,  
'Hi I'm Jenny and thanks for being honest you know you don't have to come.'  
'Correct I didn't have to but I did so that means I wanted to.' he said seeing her smile,  
'Good well would you like something to drink?' she nodded, 'wine?'   
'I only drink white.' she said,  
'No problems a bottle of chablis please.' he said to the waiter,   
'So what do you do?' she asked as they browsed the menu,  
'I'm an actor.' he replied,  
'And what will I have seen you in?' she teased sipping her wine,  
'Ooh umm probably nothing you would remember over here, I have done quite a lot in the UK but god let me think I did play Sherlock Holmes but you might not have seen that.' He said, she thought for a moment,  
'Did you have lots of fluffy hair? And a big coat?' she said,  
'That's the one.' He smiled,  
'Ah yes I remember, god you don’t look the same now. You were good.' She said nodding sipping her wine before ordering her meal.  
'So are you waitressing whilst in the process of something?' he asked,  
'Yeah I am in college training to; well I'm doing a social media degree.' She lied,  
'No you aren't what are you really doing?'  
'Law.' She said,  
'Why do women feel the need to hide their intelligence or counteract compliments or never believe they are beautiful?' he said not entirely talking about her,  
'Well most men are threatened by intelligent, strong minded, independent women.' She said,  
'Well I for one love them, I can't be doing with chasing away spiders and being the only breadwinner, you never know I could end up being the stay at home dad. Independence should be encouraged, equality should be a given.'  
'Hot, British, feminist, nice eyes how are you still single?' she mused Ben laughed,  
'I guess the right woman has never come along.' He said honestly, 'I was with someone once…' he went quiet, '…but she left me…' he finished,  
'We don’t have to talk about it.' She said making him look up,  
'No it's fine it's over now, finished hmm god over two years ago now. She was convinced I was in love with someone else, but I wasn’t, that and we never saw each other.' He added,  
'Well maybe it wasn’t supposed to be, and hey I am glad otherwise I wouldn’t be able to go on a date with you.' She said as their starter arrived.

***

Rosie blinked a little before looking up at all the stars her eyes focussing through the telescope,  
'Wow look at all of those stars.' She said moving out of the way and walking around the rest of the highest point in the Griffith Observatory gazing out into the night sky,  
'Are you still off with me, please Rosie I am sorry I was late this morning.' He said again,  
'It's not that I don’t know I am just feeling a little…god I don’t know Sam aren’t I allowed to have an off day?' she said as they made their way outside the night now completely fallen, Rosie felt Sam try to slip his arm around her waist and she rolled her eyes not feeling in the mood to play nice with him,  
'So shall we grab some dinner whilst we're out?' he said as they emerged from the observatory trying to change the subject, seeing her shrug he pulled her aside, 'are we alright?' he asked, 'you have been so different since we got here, distant.' He added rubbing her upper arms,  
'I don’t know I think it is the jet lag, and I miss you. I keep thinking is this what it is going to be like from now on? You away working all the time and me never seeing you. You always missing things because something comes up…I don’t want that for us, our marriage will never work if we don’t see each other.'  
'We will make it work because we love each other.' He said kissing her forehead,  
'But is love enough when we never speak, when we never touch or see each other? How can you promise it will be enough?' she said,  
'I won't be gone for long, and you can come with me.' He said, she moved away from him,  
'Again with this, so I have to give up my career to come and be with you but you can't take the time to come and see me.'   
'Why do you keep using that argument, why can’t you come and see me? I will come and see you and you can come and see me what is the problem I am not asking you to give up your career but when you have kids you must know that something will have to be sacrificed.' He said,  
'I don’t want to talk about this anymore, I don’t want to bring this up again, let's just go eat.' She said walking away,  
'Rosie come on, I don’t want us to be angry at each other not tonight, I have to go back tomorrow morning…'  
'And you want to get laid?' she scoffed,  
'No babe please god come on just I miss you and I want us to have a nice night.' He said,  
'Ok fine, come on I'm getting hungry.' She said slipping her hand into his as they walked down the hill.

***

Ben was actually beginning to enjoy the company of this young woman as he ordered the next bottle of wine,  
'God I don’t think I can fit a whole dessert in.' Jenny said leaning back and patting her flat stomach,  
'We can share if you want.' He suggested,  
'Ok then, umm how about the lemon mousse.' She suggested,  
'Seconded.' He said giving the order to the waitress, 'so how long have you lived in LA?' he asked,  
'Born and raised here, somewhat a rarity.' She replied,  
'Wow most people are migrants, so do you plan to stay here or do you want to move somewhere else?' he said,  
'Well I was thinking about New York but that seems a long way to go, umm I have looked into San Francisco but we will see I have to graduate first.' She replied,  
'I'm sure you will manage that no problems.'  
'What about you?'  
'Well I am just here making a movie and then I will be back to London, that's where my house is. I have a few bits and pieces to sort out around Christmas time and then back to rainy Wales to film some more episodes of Sherlock.' He explained, 'I am renting a place in the hills with one of my friends it made more sense than paying for a hotel room for eight months. It's great came furnished which makes life easier, you know when you just want your own place to go back to at night…guess you probably don’t, got some amazing views of the city.' He added,  
'I would love to check them out.' She openly flirted and it was Ben's turn to look sheepish.   
'Do you fancy another drink somewhere?' he said as he paid the bill.  
'God you didn’t have to…I would have gone half.' She said knowing that it would have cost him a lot,  
'Oh Christ I'm too old to worry about things like that I don’t think I have split a bill since I was a student.' He said helping her up and holding out her coat. 

***

Rosie sipped her wine trying not to get drunk in case she decided to say something she would regret,  
'So where are we spending Christmas this year?' Sam asked,  
'Well I don’t know whether my parents are coming or whether we are going to them, they haven’t decided, but if they come to us then Rob and Claire and their kids will come as well. Johnny and his girlfriend will probably spend Christmas with her parents. I don’t know what your sister is going to do.' She said,  
'God just a small amount of people, where would we put them all? I assume my parents would probably want to come.' He said,  
'Well your parents live down the road, maybe my parents could sleep in their spare room and my brother in the spare room the kids can bunk on the sofa bed.' She reasoned and Sam looked sceptical, 'look its Christmas everyone will have to cope for one night.' She said,  
'So much for a quiet Christmas.' He moaned, Rosie finished her main course downing her wine,  
'Well everyone knows Christmas isn't quiet it's the time for family arguments and badly cooked turkey and excess flatulence caused by sprouts.' She said,  
'Fair point.' He confessed, 'god I am knackered do you want to head home I could use an early night.' He said paying for some of the bill leaving her to pick up the rest. By the time she had made it outside Sam had found a taxi and was giving the address to the driver, they sat in a comfortable silence Rosie cuddled into Sam's chest,  
'You aren't going to hate a big Christmas are you?' she asked quietly blinking up at him with large brown eyes, Sam kissed her nose,  
'Of course not, you're right it wouldn’t be the same without family.' He gave in,  
'I love you.' Rosie told him with honesty,  
'Love you too.' He replied paying the driver, 'I thought you said the Batch was on a date.' Sam nodded towards his car that was now parked in the drive.  
'He was…well I set him up on one.' She noted Ewan was out and she looked at her phone seeing a message saying he would be gone for a few days.  
'Maybe it didn’t work out.' Sam mused opening the door and kicking off his shoes, 'I think a nice cuppa and it's off to bed for me, you want one?' Rosie shook her head.  
'No I'm fine I'm just going to check my emails see you up there in a minute.' She picked up her tablet feeling the sticky heat of the house cling to her. She slid the balcony door open quietly closing it behind her walking down the steps to a closed patio flicking through the documents before kicking a bottle hearing it clatter along the tiles. Frowning she looked up stopping dead as she saw Benedict lying back on one of the padded loungers a blanket thrown over his lower half the rest of his chest covered by a woman's naked body her head resting on his shoulder.  
'Hmm Rose.' He mumbled his blue eyes now fixing on her in the dim moonlight,  
'Its fine, I'm sorry to disturb you…I'm gonna go now.' She stammered turning and stubbing her toe on the step, 'fuck! No I'm good stay there.' She held out her hand as Ben went to move,  
'Night.' Ben said softly before looking down at the woman in his arms. Jenny had been more forward than any woman had ever been with him and he was somewhat intimidated and definitely not in control.   
'Jen…' the pretty redhead stirred,  
'Hmm hello hottie.' She mumbled running her fingers down his chest and stomach before slipping them under the blanket.   
'Do you think we should go to bed?' he noted,   
'I thought we had.' She purred,  
'It's a little cold and my arm is going dead.' He pointed out less in the mood to play.  
'Do you want me to go?' she asked kissing up and down his neck,  
'I am going to level with you, you can stay and we can go to sleep or you can go because I am shattered and have work tomorrow.' He replied,  
'Sleep it is and maybe I can persuade you in the morning.' She teased following him up the stairs.

***

Sam opened another few cupboards looking for the coffee,  
'No mum I don’t know she's gone all angry and snappy at me, I don’t think it's just the jet lag, it's not time for her period, and she hasn’t fallen out with Ben. God knows she seems to be looking for a fight this morning she flew at me about toothpaste.' Sam gave up looking and rubbed his chin.   
'Have you asked her why?' his mum asked,  
'God that made it worse.' He replied remembering last night.   
'Is she pregnant? That turned me into a right cow.' His mother offered.  
'Christ I don’t know but it wouldn’t be the most convenient time I mean what with my job.'   
'Look sweetie children never come at a convenient time and I don’t think using your job as an excuse all the time is going to help.'  
'But I am away for eighty percent of the year.' He moaned,   
'Then dare I say this should be thinking about settling down at all? If you're never there it means by marrying her and having a baby her career in which she is finally getting somewhere has to stop.'  
'She said exactly the same thing in not quite as many words.' Sam confessed, 'shit mum I love her so much but we seem to have less and less in common to talk about as the days go by. Maybe I will get Ben to talk to her…see if he can find out what's wrong.'   
'Fingers crossed, love you Sammy.'   
'Bye mum.' He hung up as a young woman walked into the room wearing Ben's shirt and little else.  
'Morning are you Ewan or Sam?' she asked finding the coffee instantly,  
'Sam, you must be Ben's date…uh Jenna?'   
'Jenny.' She corrected putting together the coffee machine hearing it filter through. 'So are you the journalist?' she asked taking out two cups, 'sugar milk?'   
'Just black thanks and yep that's me the journalist.' He said, 'morning babe.' He said as Rosie walked into the kitchen kissing her quickly thankful she didn’t pull away.   
'Morning, hi Jenny.' She said,  
'Ah you must be cupid, Rosie right?' jenny said handing her a cup of coffee,  
'Yeah thanks. So…date went well.' She stated Jenny giggled,  
'Yeah he's a nice guy thanks for the setup.' Jenny smiled,  
'You're welcome.' Rosie faked a smile,  
'Looks like everyone has met.' Ben said padding into the kitchen his jeans falling down from lack of a belt his shirt half buttoned up.   
'Ah damn you are up I was going to make some breakfast and bring it up. Jenny said walking up to Ben handing him some coffee before reaching up running her hand up his chest cupping his face before kissing him. Rosie looked away busying herself finding Ben's keys,  
'I'm going to borrow your car need to get some food for the weekend.' She said,  
'Not staying for breakfast babe?' Sam said, Rosie placed down her full cup of coffee,  
'I'm not hungry.' She replied, her eyes met Ben's as she walked past him making him frown as he saw the look in her eyes, hurt mixed with regret trying and failing to be covered up with fake happiness. He frowned as he watched her go knowing something wasn't right,  
'Sam I'm gonna have a quick fag I need to ask you something though.' He said nodding his head towards the terrace. He kissed Jenny quickly on the cheek squeezing her waist, 'give me a minute, wedding questions.' He said seeing her smile,   
'Scrambled or fried?' she asked,  
'Surprise me.' He said moving away grabbing his lighter and closing the door behind him. 'Sam there is something up with her, she is different. I don’t know whether it's got anything to do with me.' He said,  
'Mate I think it's me…we have been I dunno slipping away from each other in the past few months.' Sam confessed, 'ever since my job took off she has been withdrawn and argumentative, mum is wondering if she is pregnant. I mean she could be stressed about this wedding…I know she has been manic at work and she struggled to take time off to come here.'  
'Is she pregnant?' Ben said not hearing much after that,  
'I doubt it, she has been snappy for longer than a month and she has well you know since.  
'I don’t think it’s the wedding I mean she hasn’t mentioned anything about it and it's not like her to get stressed about anything like that.' Ben noted, 'maybe trying to juggle everything is getting too much, wedding, your job and travel, her career, thinking about when to have kids, moving house, Christmas, and this holiday can't have been an easy few months.'  
'We don’t talk anymore though; she used to share it when she was stressed…'  
'Do you still you know…' Ben asked,  
'Well yeah.'  
'Then things can't be too bad just stick it out the last thing she needs is for you to antagonise her. I will have a chat and see if I can get it out of her this weekend.' Ben said,  
'Oh yeah the cycling trip rather you than me mate my arse would die, I guess you don’t need to worry about things like that.' He replied,  
'Umm why?'  
'Well you have a tiny arse.' Sam said as if it was obvious,   
'Umm right well then I will let you know how it goes.' Ben frowned heading inside for breakfast.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cycle trip begins with plenty of adventures in the wilderness

Ben heard the door slam for the third time that morning and he sighed a little wondering what was troubling his friend. He had been woken up by the fighting at 3am and was now rubbing his aching head as he drained his coffee cup, Sam had left in a hurry to go back to work and Ben couldn’t exactly blame him but it concerned him how she had been acting in the past few days it wasn’t like the carefree happy young woman he had come to love. He had decided enough was enough by the end of this trip he would have discovered exactly what was going on, he watched as she burst into the room brushing her hair violently before tying it up hurling the brush in her bag.   
‘Rosie…’ he started,  
‘Don’t!’ she snapped holding her hand in his face making him catch his breath, ‘shouldn’t we leave if we want to get there by tonight?’ she added slinging her bag over her back and walking towards the door,  
‘I guess so.’ Ben said following her throwing everything into the boot of the car, ‘I guess the trails will be quite empty LA natives don’t like going out in the cold.’ He tried to lighten the mood,  
‘It’s not cold.’ She simply replied dropping into the passenger seat. Ben exhaled shoving the tent in the boot and closing the door before taking his place behind the wheel starting the engine to his rented land rover and pulling away.   
‘Look I know you obviously don’t want to talk about it but I am worried.’ Ben said after an hour of silence Rosie’s head turned away from him the whole time, he had tried to make jokes, get her to sing along with the radio but she had remained tight-lipped. ‘Right fuck this I did not come on a weekend of silence.’ He said pulling the car onto the gravel at the side of the road skidding to a stop making her lurch forward almost hitting her head on the dashboard,  
‘Jesus!’ she snapped rubbing her wrist where it was jolted,   
‘Get talking or get out of the goddam car!’ he shouted. Rosie looked at him wide eyed seeing he was serious his eyes burning with annoyance,  
‘Christ ok keep your tits on.’ She said seeing him sit back his hands still gripping the steering wheel. ‘I’m not mad at you.’ She added,  
‘I know I heard, at 3am and 6am and at 8am…you weren’t subtle, I mean what did he do to deserve all the screaming.’   
‘I don’t know he didn’t do anything, Ben why are you getting involved in other people’s problems don’t you remember what happened the last time?’ she reminded him, Ben frowned,  
‘This is different, come on Rose I care about you just tell me maybe I can come up with a solution.’ He tried to coax out of her,  
‘You can’t unless you can change a stubborn personality then you can’t do a damn thing, so like I said don’t get involved, I know he asked you to find out what it is, but if he can’t see what is upsetting me then that’s his problem not yours and not mine.’ She crossed her arms,  
‘Well if you want to talk you know I’m always here to lend an ear.’ He said turning on the engine again and pulling away,  
‘Thanks and Ben don’t worry he will figure it out eventually, and if he doesn’t then…well…I have some thinking to do.’ She said making Ben frown with worry once more. 

***

By the time Ben had negotiated the winding roads stopping to check the map himself three times they had made it to one of the more remote campsites and parked up,  
‘You weren’t joking when you said no one would be here were you?’ Rosie said as she dropped her legs from the car the autumnal chill wrapping around her bare ankles as the sun still warmed her back, ‘compared to London this is tropical.’ She noted as she pulled off her sweatshirt revealing a tank top underneath that was as skin tight as her cycling shorts. She looked across at Ben as he bent down retying his shoelaces and grinned waiting for him to turn round,  
‘Are you wearing any pants?’ she asked in her best John Watson accent, Ben sarcastically frowned,  
‘No.’ he replied making her giggle, ‘and I am not living a weekend of Sherlock quotes missy.’ He added,  
‘I have been waiting for a time when I could say that.’ She laughed helping him pull the tent from the car. ‘Do you want to set these up now or when we come back?’   
‘Let’s get it done in the light I am crap at this at the best of times.’ He said dropping the poles out of the bag as Rosie moved most of the twigs and stones out of a small area, Ben carefully unfolded the instructions,  
‘Did you just buy this for the occasion?’ she asked seeing him nod sticking his tongue out in concentration.   
‘No don’t touch my poles.’ He said as she went to pick one up,  
‘Oh Benny I wouldn’t dream of doing any pole fondling without your permission.’ She sniggered seeing him stick up his middle finger at her,   
‘Now attach pole A to pole B using an intersecting clip.’ He said waving his hand,   
‘Oh now you want me to touch them.’ She said sarcastically seeing him narrow his eyes at her. Rosie picked up pole A and fed it into the tent knowing exactly how to put it up but she didn’t want to let Ben know that, and then took pole B sliding it through in the other direction clipping them at the top. ‘Next.’ She said anchoring them to the ground,   
‘Take top layer F and tie to sheet C.’ he said,  
‘You know you could have gotten a pop up one.’ She said seeing him scowl, ‘alright alright.’ She said doing as she was told sneakily doing the next few steps making it easier.  
‘Now you need some tent pegs.’ He said turning round seeing her anchoring the last one in, ‘you knew how to do this all along didn’t you?’ he said folding his instructions,  
‘Well being an environmental journalist I have erected a few tents in my time.’ She said, ‘and this one is pretty standard, double walled, separate groundsheet, and two main anchoring guy wires.’ She said pointing at all the features.   
‘Yes well you could have saved me fifteen minutes of brain work.’  
‘Why it was entertaining.’ She mused, ‘now put those thighs to some good use and pump up the air mattress.’ She added unfolding it inside the tent and attaching the pump as she went to get the bikes making sure they were in good working order filling the water bottles and attaching them to both bikes making sure she had the first aid kit and assorted bike repair items in her rucksack before clipping it to her back.  
‘Right I’m done.’ He said as she tossed him his rucksack and helmet. ‘So we are following the green trail.’ He said, ‘so we need to go straight across the ridge from here climbing to the top where there should be some good views and then we are going to follow the river down to the bottom of the valley and back up the forest trail to camp.’ He said getting on his bike pointing in the direction of the trail they needed to follow. 

Rosie let her mind drift away as she concentrated on avoiding the rocks on the path in front of her feeling the mud splash up her legs as she negotiated the odd occasional puddle the ridge opening out in front of her. She stopped after thirty minutes taking in the view of the hills and valleys beginning to burst out in front of her,  
‘Wow look at that.’ She said taking some water hearing Ben’s brakes next to her. She whipped out her camera and forced him to pose,  
‘God woman why did you bring a camera?’ he said trying to smile as best he could.   
‘You look like that stick they shoved up your ass at Harrow was never removed.’ She teased making him scowl laughing as she laughed.  
‘How do you know what happened in the showers after gym?’ he replied drinking some water and rubbing his calves, ‘god I am so unfit.’ He said,  
‘You are stacked. I have never seen you this big.’ She said,  
‘I could bench press you but that’s it, all my energy has been put into making these arms…which seems to have been a waste of time.’ He said with bitterness.  
‘What?’ she said confused,  
‘Oh it’s nothing a passing observation from your fiancée.’ He waved his hand trying to turn away putting his things in his rucksack feeling Rosie pull his arm forcing him to look round.   
‘What did he say?’ she asked,  
‘God literally nothing I probably took it out of context.’ He said seeing her fold her arms, ‘fine, he I don’t know said I was tiny. That on top of the time you arrived and he wouldn’t let me carry a damn thing. Now I’ve said it it sounds fucking stupid doesn’t it…’ he ran his hand through his hair,  
‘It doesn’t sound stupid because that’s what he does; it isn’t what he says its how he says it. He has been doing it ever since I have been with him but I guess love is blind…until now…’ she said meeting Ben’s eye. ‘It was ok at the beginning the sarcasm amusing I guess because he never did it to me…and then in the past few months he has just been so self absorbed he has started doing it to me.’ Ben placed his hand on her shoulder feeling her shrug, ‘its ok I know he doesn’t mean it and like you said it isn’t even really that offensive when you think about it.’ She said, ‘now come on otherwise it will be bloody dark before we get back and we have to stop for lunch.’ She added getting back on her bike and pushing off hearing him do the same behind her,  
‘I can’t believe I have never cycled up here before its beautiful country amazing to think really given the massive city below it.’  
‘Well LA has reduced it’s air pollution significantly since the clean air act but considering how long ago it was made law there are still several cities across this country that still don’t abide by the guidelines, and at least most people seem to drive more eco friendly cars here now.’ She said as they gently pedalled along the top of the ridge admiring the scenery.  
‘So I was talking to mum the other day, seems she knows all about Sam, has met him three times…and never bothered to tell me about you two at all. Quote, “oh yes he has been out golfing with your father he’s a lovely chap” she even decided to tell me how lovely she thought his arms and chest were and how with a bit of effort I could look a little more defined. Then my dad proceeded to tell me how nice it was to have a grown up conversation having spent so much time around his step-grandkids and that he was quote “the manly son he had always wished for” talk about stabbing the knife in.’ Ben said hearing Rosie giggle,  
‘Shit did he say that?’  
‘He implied I was a right girl yes.’ Benedict replied shaking his head as they reached the next milepost.  
‘Well I would have thought they would have mentioned it sooner, your parents and my parents had a few get-togethers and they invited us…’ she said, ‘I didn’t know your mum fancied him and they only played golf that one time…and went grouse shooting.’ She added seeing Ben roll his eyes before checking the map.  
‘Apparently this gets a bit off road.’ He said pointing down the rocky slightly muddy road in front of them, ‘I think you are supposed to pick a trail directly down here and end up by the plunge pool at the bottom.’ He added folding away his map,  
‘Oh well in that case…I’ll race you…go.’ She said and she was off just giving him time to get his feet on the pedals. 

Ben allowed himself to freewheel a little getting a feel for the ground looking to his right seeing Rosie navigating along her track zipping in between plants and rocks as she pedalled downhill,  
‘Right here I come.’ He shouted picking his next few moves whizzing in and out of the trees in front of him thankful his track was pretty clear of rocks; Ben pushed the fear deep down inside of him and began to pedal pushing his bike faster down the reasonably straight gully feeling his adrenaline take over as he pushed himself,  
‘You can’t catch me.’ Rosie shouted as she took off flying over a small pothole and landing the other side pedalling harder.   
‘Just you wait.’ He said looking across at her as he flew past her laughing as they almost reached the bottom, Rosie looked ahead her stomach flying to her throat her heart stopping as she saw the large pile of rocks a few meters in front of Ben,  
‘Ben!’ she screamed seeing his eyes change as he saw her face swivelling his head seeing what she had seen. He slammed on his brakes far too late and hard his front wheel hitting a patch of small rocks wobbling for side to side his hands getting thrown around on the handlebars one of them flying off as his wheel flipped sideways the whole bike skidding over, Ben barely managed to get his foot out of the cage on the pedals letting the bike fly away as he hit the ground with a thud the air being pushed from his lungs his head hitting the ground thankful he had a helmet on as his body dragged along the stony ground, he heard his bike hit the rocks the metal clanging feeling the burning pain in his bare leg and back. Then finally he stopped lying deadly still,  
‘Fuck, shit, Ben!’ he heard Rosie shout but he couldn’t open his eyes he just lay still trying to process everything that had just happened, ‘Ben! Ben! Please don’t be dead! Ben!’ Rosie was shouting from next to him and he groaned hearing her sigh of relief her hand being placed on his chest the other touching his face,  
‘Uggggg ahhh…’ he moaned frowning a little coughing as the air returned to his winded lungs,   
‘Ben look at me, please look at me.’ She coaxed and he opened his eyes squinting at the bright light scattered with a cloud of dust. He roamed the murky cloud finding Rosie’s eyes now knitted with concern as she stroked his cheek, ‘oh god thank god.’ She said squeezing her eyes closed for a moment a tear escaping the corner, Ben went to sit up but she pushed him down,  
‘Ouch…’ he mumbled his eyes fully opening,  
‘I thought you had died.’ She said bending down kissing his cheek, ‘don’t sit up, don’t move.’ She added inching off his helmet cradling his head placing it down gently.   
‘I’m fine.’ He said moving his arm up moving the hair from her face, ‘I’m fine.’ He repeated,  
‘Does your neck hurt?’ she said touching the back,  
‘No it’s fine see I can move it, I can feel everything.’ He said moving his hands and his feet, ‘I need to sit up.’ He said,  
‘Ok but slowly…slowly.’ She said helping him up, ‘shit Ben you are bleeding.’ She said looking down at his leg now covered in red and mud the whole of the outside of his calf stripped away from the friction luckily his thigh had been spared, ‘your back…’ she noted the friction had ripped the fabric of his loose t-shirt and the left half of his back, his shoulder and upper arm were also grazed and bleeding.   
‘That explains the burning searing pain.’ He tried a smile managing a wince.  
‘Can you stand?’ she asked,  
‘I think so…’ he replied using her to help himself up hopping to a large flat rock sitting on the edge of it watching as Rosie bent to remove his shoes and socks, ‘how is the bike?’ he said,  
‘Shut up about the bloody bike it will be fixable worry about you.’ She moved towards him lifting the bottom of his t-shirt pulling it gently over his head trying not to touch his back inspecting his arm running her fingers gently across his chest up to his collarbone and along the front of his arm, ‘I think you did a worse job on your leg, your back seems to have been protected by your t-shirt.’ She said, ‘but we need to clean these out.’ She looked around unzipping her rucksack and pulling out her first aid kit, ‘can you make it over there?’ she nodded towards the plunge pool opening out onto a shallow banked river, Ben nodded standing up and hobbling over. She tried to get his leg in the water,   
‘I’ll get in.’ he deduced,   
‘You need to take those off.’ She nodded at his cycling shorts Ben paused, ‘shit you don’t wear anything under those do you?’ he shook his head.  
‘It’s ok it’s not like you haven’t seen a penis before.’ He said. Rosie pulled off her cycling leggings tossing them aside as she removed her socks and vest leaving her in a sports bra and pants, ‘what are you doing?’ he said,  
‘Well you can’t clean that properly on your own.’ She said nodding at his back walking over and jumping in surfacing moments later treading water, Ben took a breath as she turned her back hearing the splash moments later,  
‘Holy shit it’s cold.’ He said taking a breath pushing his hair back seeing her swim towards him, ‘don’t you dare look down.’ He said as she swam behind him laughing. She cleaned his back and shoulder with the water making sure it was clean of dirt trying to hold herself steady so that she didn’t kick his other leg, once she was satisfied she removed the dust from the graze she cleaned the rest of his back her fingers tracing his damp skin feeling it cool from the water she let her hand slip below the water tracing around his side tracing over his ribcage as she bent forward kissing the nape of his neck her lips lingering on his skin her breath hitting his nerve endings. Ben closed his eyes wondering whether he was dreaming but he could feel her hands holding his waist her lips moving a little lower softly barely kissing him again and his body shuddered moving back into hers as his hand reached round finding her bare thigh sliding his long fingers up the outside until he was at the junction of her underwear. He felt her swallow her hand moving to his stomach as she allowed him to push his fingers higher slipping under the fabric her breasts touching his back as she took a breath in. In that moment he needed to see her face and he forced himself to rotate in the water seeing her eyes closed her hair fanning out around her head, he pushed it over her shoulder the back of his fingers running across her collar bone and down her arm. Rosie tilted her head to the side a little feeling him pull her thigh around his waist his chest hitting hers as he pulled her in,  
‘Sorry I didn’t mean to…I was scared I’d lost you.’ She mumbled into his neck her hands gripping his waist as they both treaded water against the small current being slowly pushed to a shallower section of the river.   
‘It’s ok.’ He murmured softly kissing the skin of her neck gently cradling the back of her head with one hand the other still on her leg. ‘It’s ok we’re safe…’ he added as he felt his feet hit solid ground,   
‘We should get out. You need to eat something and I need to look at your leg.’ She said looking at his face seeing him subconsciously lick his lips.  
‘Yes I agree.’ He said forcedly before grounding his feet properly,  
‘Can you manage?’ she said seeing him nod trying to ignore the view of her white underwear that had become see-through with the water as she climbed out of the river ringing the water from her hair. She found the small towel in her bag trying to pass it blindly to Ben who dried what was necessary before slipping on his shorts.  
‘All decent.’ He replied sitting down on the rock again feeling the sun beginning to dry the rest of his body. 

Rosie set about passing him some water and taking the lunch from her bag thankful that all he had in his bag strapped to his bike were clothes and the bike repair kit packed in an unbreakable box. She walked behind him spraying some antiseptic spray onto his back and arm seeing him wince every time,  
‘I think this will be fine uncovered it is just a graze and it should scab over in a few hours.’ She said walking round to the front and crouching down looking at his leg that was still bleeding into the dirty ground and she bit her lip. ‘This is going to hurt.’ She said shaking the spray again,  
‘Needs must.’ He gritted his teeth and let her get on with it trying to ignore the throbbing in his leg as she taped some gauze squares over the stubborn deep grazes, removing bits of gravel and doing the same with others before loosely bandaging his leg in a flexible crepe.   
‘Can you still cycle like that do you think?’ she asked and he got up walking a little to test it,  
‘Good enough, now let’s look at this thing.’ He said hauling his bike up seeing there weren’t too many major problems, ‘at least the frame survived, ‘this wheel is punctured but easily fixed and the seat needs reattaching, handlebars realigning and this mudguard is toast.’ He said grabbing the tool kit and sitting down with the bike in front of him pottering away until it was ride able, ‘I will swap it for the spare when we get back in case the frame is weakened but it will get us home.’   
‘Surely that’s the weekend over?’ she said,  
‘Why?’ he asked, ‘I’m fine a few cuts won’t kill me and I wasn’t concussed…get back on the horse and all that. Besides I promised you a weekend and I will deliver.’ He added propping his bike up and picking up his sandwich again finishing it quickly more hungry than he thought. Rosie looked up before glancing at her watch,   
‘We need to get going here take these.’ She handed him three tablets,   
‘Yes doctor.’ He replied knocking them back and slipping his shoes back on feeling the dried blood in them before pulling on a clean t-shirt seeing her pull her clothes on quickly now dry. Ben looked at his helmet seeing the impact it had taken and thanking god he was wearing it otherwise things might have been a lot more serious.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter thanks to the natural break in the story, so part 3 of the cycling adventure to come

The ride back was a more gentle affair stopping every half an hour for Ben to rest a little and they made it back just as the sun had almost set grateful they had collected some firewood before they had left and stacked it in the boot. Rosie placed a blanket on the cleared ground and stacked some firewood next to Ben with some matches and some dry straw and kindling,  
‘You start that and I will get changed if you don’t mind and then I will make some dinner.’ She said,  
‘Sounds great.’ He said shuffling himself in creating a large fire surrounded by some rocks for safety making sure it was well lit; he looked up looking around for the wire stand to put over the fire his eyes catching sight of Rosie as she pulled her t-shirt off tying her hair up in a clip as she removed her still slightly damp underwear Ben’s eyes couldn’t move away. He watched her naked body as she dressed in her clean dry clothes pulling on just a hooded sweatshirt over her bra and zipping it up before finding her matching sweatpants and pulling them on finding some thick dry socks and pulling them on stuffing her feet into dry trainers, she looked around and Ben quickly turned back to the fire as she walked past him clipping up her hair. She rummaged in a bag hoisting out some aluminium foil piercing and wrapping two potatoes and poking them under the coals of the fire with a stick,  
‘Those have about an hour so you better change and crack open the wine.’ She smiled. Ben stood as she busied herself finding out some plates and cutlery placing them on her small camping table finding some tumblers and a corkscrew. Her eyes flicked to Ben who had taken her position sheltered partially behind the tent, she watched as he gently pulled the vest from his torso his body clearly in more pain than he wanted to let on, she watched as he absent-mindedly scratched his scab free shoulder inches from where her lips had touched his skin. She blushed as she thought of her foolish impulsive actions the softness of his skin how it had felt to her lips, his muscular back under her fingers how she had wanted more, so much more and she let out a small sigh,  
‘You alright?’ Ben said turning not letting her avert her eyes in time and she know that coupled with her blush gave her away,  
‘Yes…yes I’m fine…do you want tea?’ she asked looking away,   
‘Love some thanks.’ Ben said removing his shorts carefully and pulling on some underwear and his jeans finding a t-shirt and sweatshirt pulling them on and zipping the outer layer up. Before pushing his feet in his shoes going to join her pulling the now boiling pan of water from the fire and making the tea. ‘Here.’ He said passing her a tin mug, ‘do you need any help?’ he asked,  
‘No it’s alright, sausages, beans and fried onions with some jacket potato ok with you?’ she said,  
‘Sounds delicious.’ He replied stealing the corkscrew from next to her,   
‘How’s your leg?’ she asked chopping the onions throwing the waste into a small paper bag, Ben popped the cork pouring two tumblers of wine handing one to her licking the excess from his thumb.   
‘It’s alright, those painkillers worked a treat but ask me in the morning when I have slept on this back.’ He joked. Rosie set about placing a pan on the fire drizzling some oil in the bottom and dropping in the sausages into the pan hearing them begin to sizzle away. She sipped her wine taking a breath,   
‘So how was your date? Seems like it went well, I didn’t mean to interrupt you.’ She said not meeting his eyes,  
‘It was good thanks for setting me up, she’s a nice girl and she seemed to like me. But I don’t know there was something unnerving about her, I had a feeling if she had the choice she would have chained me up, whipped me and made me beg for mercy. As it was I barely managed to keep up. Christ when did sex become a race to kinkyville?’ he said making Rosie laugh,  
‘I think porn and that little thing called 50 Shades of Grey have something to do with it.’ She teased making him smile,  
‘At least she didn’t lead with the struggling actress guff that I seem to always get. At least she is training to be a lawyer, we had that in common and we chatted a bit about that, do you know how hard it is to find intelligent women these days?’ he said seeing her eyebrows shoot up, ‘well obviously I include you in that statement.’ He corrected hearing her laugh,  
‘Seems you are the only one who thinks so.’ She said before shaking her head, ‘shit no I am not being that whiny cow.’ She said, ‘so good dinner, good shag, you going to call her?’ Rosie asked and Ben thought for a moment. He shifted in his camp chair to face her a foot away from her body,  
‘It depends…’ he said his voice quiet,  
‘On what?’ she looked at his lips,  
‘On how you feel about that.’ Ben almost whispered. Rosie looked up into his eyes for a long moment before looking down at her hands and the gap where her ring once stood taken off for safety and she rubbed the dent. Her mind went to Sam and guilt flooded her system,  
‘I think…that you should…’ she paused looking up at him, ‘do whatever makes you happy.’ She finished seeing his eyes searching hers as he frowned a little. ‘Just be happy Ben, that’s all I wish for you.’ She added feeling tears prick her eyes hearing the sausages pop moving from his shadow next to the fire hearing his sharp intake of breath from behind her and she closed her eyes willing that tear to never fall. Opening them again she busied herself frying the onions and setting the tin of beans on the fire,  
‘I am going to pee.’ He said picking up the toilet roll and bar of soap making his way to the block of rustic outdoor toilets next to the car park leaving her to finish off with only her thoughts to accompany her. 

By the time he returned she was dishing up dinner and handed him his plate his potato already cut open buttered and filled with beans his sausages and onions in rolls. They both ate in silence too hungry to pause and make conversation and by the time they had finished they both collapsed on the blanket sprawled on their backs. Ben hauled himself up for long enough to wash the plates putting everything away careful to put the food in the car and found the rest of the wine bringing over the bottle and lying back down adjusting his sleeping bag he was using as a pillow reclining against a boulder feeling Rosie do the same letting her half dry hair down,  
‘You are going to make a worryingly good wife.’ He said patting his stomach,  
‘You mean I would do well chained to a stove.’ She snapped,  
‘Hey don’t pick on me like that you know that’s not what I meant, just because you don’t have the balls to tell Sam that you don’t want to follow him round the world and you don’t want to be his lapdog it’s not my fucking fault!’ He snipped back, ‘you need to tell him exactly what you want from this marriage.’ He gesticulated, ‘I don’t know what has happened to you, I mean this fake tan, those stupid plastic nails, even those highlights. Stop trying so hard to mould yourself to what he wants, Christ where did the woman I met go! You used to be fun, spontaneous, and naturally beautiful. Next thing you will be getting a boob job and a bum lift or whatever the hell it is, yet you sit there and complain that he wants to boost his career and get you to give up yours to be a Stepford wife…have you ever told him or shown him any different. Jesus you have known him a year and it seems you have bent to his will every time, you sold your house, having the wedding where he wants, giving up the job you started before his and now you are complaining!’  
‘It’s not like I wanted this, I am thirty Ben! You know women have a little bit less of a shelf life than men you can still sleep with women in their twenties when you are fifty but that wonderful double standard in life means that I can’t.’  
‘Fuck the double standard.’ He mumbled,  
‘Ben I have been living in a house where I have to hide my copies of The Times and The Guardian, where his articles are framed and mine placed in some box somewhere. I am marrying a chauvinistic idiot.’ She pushed his chest her fingers gripping his t-shirt, ‘don’t you think I am aware of this fucking fact!’ she shouted, ‘it’s too late I said yes, I made my bed because I genuinely believed no one else better was going to come along.’ She added,  
‘Why?! You are worth so much more than him, you are so much better than him.’ Ben tried to plead,  
‘Well you know what you had your fucking chance and you are too – bloody – late…’ she finished her fingers almost ripping his t-shirt. In one swift movement she pulled Ben’s body towards her, her lips finding his in that moment as she pressed hungrily against them. Benedict was momentarily stunned as he felt her wet lips against his her tongue seeking entry to his mouth, the moment he let it pass he felt her moan reverberate from her chest to his as she struggled to get her body closer her hand moving from his shirt to his neck and then his hair tugging at the base of it with her fingertips as his hands moved to her body. In a reflex he pulled her so that she straddled his lap his hands on her hips placed with more permission than a few hours earlier, his mind knew this was in everyway wrong, that she was upset and had had too much wine but his body told him he might never get another chance to taste her lips to feel the weight of her body on top of his and that in this moment he had to create enough memories to last him a lifetime. He could feel her free hand move down across his chest resting on his stomach as he reached up tangling his fingers in her flowing hair as he tilted his head allowing her to deepen the kiss and she obliged so wantonly it made his body weak with his burgeoning desire for her. Rosie felt him finally kiss her back the shock of the situation now hastily worn off as his mind switched off and his body took over, she could feel him responding his body opening up and she gave him what he needed a pressure of her limbs on his as his hands pulled her in his long fingers stretching tense over her hip and neck and his breathless moan matched hers. Just in the moment where her lungs told her they needed more air her mind showed her the one man she was trying to push from her memory and she broke the kiss leaning back. Benedict was inches from her his eyes still closed his long lashes fanning upwards his cheeks now flushed from the alcohol and the hormones his lips moist, still parted and dark just bitten pink, his chest rising and falling beneath her fingers, she took it all in in that moment knowing she could never see it or have it again. The feel of his body between her legs the pulsation of his driven heartbeat beneath his skin, and then it fell from her mouth like an out of control express train a large loud sob and with it the salty tears sprang from her eyes with no warning. 

Ben’s eyes opened at the sound and his fingers moved to her face,  
‘I’m sorry I can’t I shouldn’t.’ she mumbled all to fast closing her eyes to him, his window to her soul blacked off.  
‘Ssh it’s ok.’ He tried to soothe her,  
‘I hate him so much sometimes, but he doesn’t do anything wrong it’s how he is that makes me so mad.’ She sobbed and Benedict cradled her into his shoulder feeling her body nestle into his. ‘God and I’m such a bitch sometimes why can’t I just tell him?’  
‘You’re too nice.’ Ben countered stroking her back moving the hair from her face,   
‘I’m not nice I’m a whore. Here I am kissing another man.’ She gesticulated.   
‘Well there are two guilty parties here I should have stopped you and I didn’t so I am as much to blame.’ He tried to placate her, ‘one slip up doesn’t mean you don’t love him. You need to talk to him though, spend some time with him and actually get your points across; you can’t let him bully you if you want this to work.’ Ben said,  
‘You are only saying that because you don’t want him to beat up your “tiny ass”.’ She said making him laugh.  
‘Well that too. Come on I think we need to get some sleep we have a long day tomorrow and a long drive back.’ He added,  
‘But you are so comfy.’ She replied snuggling into his chest a little more rubbing her nose and eyes still straddling him but now lying on him more like a giant baby. ‘Much softer than Sam.’ She felt him smack her bum,  
‘And for that comment you are definitely off.’ He said feeling her move, Rosie picked up the torch and some water and left Ben to sort the tent going to brush her teeth and use the bathroom putting out some of the fire before settling into the tent zipping all the important things inside the outer compartment before zipping the inside and wriggling into her sleeping bag seeing Ben trying to get comfortable.  
‘Try lying on your side.’ She suggested taking his hand and pulling him over placing his hand on her stomach with hers on top adjusting her pillow a little before reaching up and turning the light off, ‘night night.’ She whispered,  
‘Goodnight.’ He replied in the dark feeling her fingers entwine with his,   
‘You’re a good friend Benji.’ She said,  
‘You won’t say that when I start snoring.’ He replied sleepily making her chuckle, ‘now go to sleep.’ He said, Rosie closed her eyes falling asleep to Ben’s rhythmic breathing next to her ear.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again another short one but the break works better here.

Ben awoke to the sound of twittering birds with the faint clanging of pots and pans and he rolled onto his back immediately regretting it as it throbbed insistently he moved his arms from his sleeping bag stretching them realising he was alone as he regained his surroundings sitting up he stretched properly unzipping his sleeping bag and rolling it up stuffing it back into the bag doing the same with Rosie’s and opening the deflate valve on the lilo. As he was waiting for it to go down he shimmied into his clean lycra leggings and pulled on a sleeveless vest pulling his sweatpants over the top before rolling up the lilo packing it away and opening the tent door hoisting the bags out. He looked around seeing Rosie was no where to be found and so busied himself setting up the fire for the morning just getting it alight and most of the stuff in the car as Rosie returned from one of the forest trails,  
‘So you weren’t eaten by a bear then?’ he said as she placed her knapsack down on the table smiling,   
‘No such luck.’ She said taking out a few Tupperware boxes; ‘could you rinse these?’ she said handing him a box of raspberries and another of blackberries. She avoided his eye for a moment taking the other items from her bag. She quickly halved the pomegranates pushing the seeds into a bowl adding them to the fruit she had brought with her, Ben dropped his washed items next to hers having a rummage through the bag,   
‘Anything else you want me to do?’ he said poking the fire, hearing the water boil and making the tea, she just shook her head mixing her fruit salad Ben stroked her shoulder feeling her move away,  
‘No it’s fine I was going to make an omelette.’ She said cutting up some mushrooms,   
‘They aren’t going to kill us are they?’ he tried to joke and she held up her guide to edible plants, trees, flowers and fungi of California. ‘Fair enough.’ He replied passing her her tea and starting to deconstruct the tent just about managing to get it back in the bag it came in and shoving it in the car along with anything else they didn’t need.   
‘What are your plans for next week?’ she said moving the pan around making sure everything was cooking sipping her tea,  
‘Working most of the week I’m afraid, but I’m doing some early mornings so should be done by mid to late afternoon if I’m lucky.’ He said trying to get her attention. ‘What about you?’ he asked stealing some fruit knowing she would normally slap the back of his hand but she let it slide.   
‘I am going to spend some time researching and writing this article trying to get it done, I suppose I will have to get a dress for this charity thing. Sam is going to try and come back on Tuesday so I need some thinking time before then I need to work out how and what I am going to say to him.’ She sighed, ‘Zach, Chris and Jon said they wanted a night out on Wednesday said they wanted to show me the town so that should be fun but I guess you will be working or in bed.’ She added,  
‘We’ll see I can burn the candle at both ends for one day.’ He said moving a flyaway bit of hair back into her plait.   
‘Don’t please Ben…’ she said,  
‘What so I can’t act like we normally do, I can’t make fun of you and you me, I can’t hug you, or even touch you? Kiss your cheek?’ he growled.  
‘I just don’t think its appropriate right now.’ She replied barely looking up as she passed him his plate.   
‘Is this my fault? Did I push you too far?’ he said frowning trying to cup her face to get her to look at him but she pulled away. Rosie shook her head,  
‘No none of this is your fault, you are single I am engaged I shouldn’t have kissed you that first time, and last night…last night.’ She put her fingers to her lips before looking up into his eyes, ‘was nothing. It has to be nothing it cannot ever mean anything ever again.’ She said tears pricking her eyes, ‘fuck I didn’t want to cry. I shouldn’t be crying.’ She said getting up and turning away,  
‘You said two things to me yesterday; first that you wanted me to be happy and second that I was too late. What did you mean?’ he asked running his hands down her arms resting his chin on her shoulder before hugging her, Rosie shook her head, ‘please tell me.’ He whispered in her ear, ‘look at me and tell me.’ Rosie turned and took a deep breath before looking up at him,  
‘Benedict how long have I known you?’ she said, he shrugged,  
‘Umm about ten maybe twelve years.’ He said,  
‘And I watched as Olivia broke your heart, let you cry on my shoulder, took you to bars and sports games and held your hand. Then you got with Anna, and Helene…and I watched you break up with them and I did the same. I couldn’t have done more if I had stood in front of you with a big neon arrow and a sign tattooed to my forehead…but you still didn’t notice me.’ She struggled Ben cupped her face,  
‘I did notice, every day I noticed you and I wanted you, want you.’ He murmured trying to touch her face but she pulled away.  
‘I didn’t hear from you in a year, you were too busy to even be my friend and so I came to the natural conclusion that I had fabricated my crush in my head. So I let you go and I found someone else…and then you called me, told me to come and visit and I knew I couldn’t come on my own. Because it doesn’t matter now if you notice me or you want me because I cannot…will not let myself get hurt again.’ She said,  
‘I would never hurt you.’ He said kissing her cheek,  
‘Not intentionally. You could have just been happy for me; you could have said congratulations and left it at that.’ She said,  
‘How do you expect me to be happy for you when I know he isn’t the right man for you, do you want me to sit back and let you enter into an unhappy marriage when I could have done something about it?!’ he snapped,  
‘Exactly my point could have! Now you are two years too late, so keep your opinions, your hands and your mouth to yourself or this friendship is over.’ She replied getting up and walking away. Ben took a breath trying to ignore the tears in his eyes,  
‘Fine if that’s what it takes.’ He said after a few short moments, ‘just friends it is because I am not losing you. But I am not sorry for kissing you, or wanting to. I am only sorry that…that I was too late I suppose.’ He said picking up his rucksack and slinging it on his back, ‘we need to set off, need to get home at a good time I have some scenes to read.’ He said cycling away trying to ignore the blurring of his vision. Rosie packed her bag and mounted her bike forcing the tears away,  
‘You made your choice you stupid woman! Stop fucking crying over it!’ she said to herself as she followed him in silence down the trail. 

***

Sam stormed out onto the terrace the door clanging shut behind him and he walked straight up to Ben and stood in front of him his hands on his hips, Ben frowned looking up from his script taking a sip of his vodka and tonic,  
‘She’s fucking worse now! What the hell did you say to her?!’ he snapped and Ben sighed, Sam had come home a day earlier than expected and Ben had escaped to the quiet of the back terrace to keep out of their way his peaceful Monday night shattered. The rest of the cycling trip had been somewhat silent and Rosie and he had said minimal words to each other in the twenty four hours since apart from to pass the time of day as he went off to work and sitting and talking about the state of the American economy over dinner on Sunday. In truth Benedict was miserable and he hated and resented Sam for taking away the woman he wanted but he wasn’t vindictive enough to ever say anything. Rosie had made her choices clear to him and he respected her enough to try and stick to them but like any addict in the first few days he was trying to avoid temptation and temptation to punch something or someone who was now standing in front of him. ‘Well?’ Sam snapped again, Ben put his script to the side,  
‘We had a talk. What has she told you?’ Ben said calmly still seated,  
‘That she isn’t happy with the way I am, that she thinks I am trying to control her too much which is bollocks, said I tell her how to run her life, what to wear, how to look, what to eat and all that shit. She said she didn’t know whether she wanted to marry me, said that when she spoke to you it put a lot of things in perspective…so tell me what did she mean by that? Hmm?!’ he said using his body to look as menacing as possible, Ben tried to remain cool and calm,  
‘She probably meant that after using me as a sounding board and having thought through some of the issues she had been having, such as those that you mentioned that she came to her own conclusion that she needed to discuss where her…your relationship was heading before either of you entered into a marriage blindly without knowing truly what cards were on the table.’ Sam glared at him,  
‘Fucking posh boy learn to speak proper, why can’t you twats say what you mean eh?’ he said his accent thick now.   
‘I really don’t think we need to bring class into every argument.’ Ben said unfortunately accentuating every syllable and pronouncing his really more like Raleigh not doing himself any favours.   
‘I should kick the shit out of you right here, right now! I knew you didn’t like me from the start, what do you have against me, not from the right family? Don’t speak proper? Or are you just jealous of me?’  
‘There we go you see that’s the first thing, it’s all about you isn’t it?’ Ben said feeling himself getting hot under the collar, ‘I have no problem with you and I haven’t said anything to her that I didn’t or wouldn’t tell you. She feels like you aren’t letting her be herself and I have to agree. She is a bright, sparky, fun young woman and you are squashing that. I don’t give a flying fuck what you do or how you are with anyone else but she is my friend and I care about her and I don’t want to see her hurt and you are hurting her.’ He said as if it were obvious. Within moments Sam had grabbed Ben by the front of his shirt and was pulling him up his right hand raised in a fist,  
‘You’re a sneaky little bastard aren’t you? What is it do you want her for yourself or something? Is that what it is?’ Sam spat, ‘I should shut your mouth for you, stop you doing any more damage!’ he threatened. Ben looked him in the eye,  
‘I have no doubt that you love controlling her and that in some small way you love her but you also can’t stand the fact your pride is going to be dented by a woman dumping you when it’s always been the other way round.’ Ben hissed, ‘so if you want to hit me go ahead and fucking hit me but it will be the last thing you do!’ he almost mentally braced himself but at the moment Sam wound his arm back the door opened,   
‘Samuel Aaron Johnson what the hell are you doing!’ Rosie screeched and they both looked up, Ben took his moment to stand up snatching up his script and made his way up the stairs, ‘this is not fucking over you pussy!’ Sam shouted after him as he slammed the door storming upstairs, Rosie turned, ‘don’t you dare go after him do you hear me! Don’t you fucking move I own you and I am telling you do not follow him!’ Sam warned Rosie turned round taking two steps before slapping him hard across the face,  
‘You do not own me you have never owned me and you never will. Just grow up!’ she said turning on her heel and walking into the house.

Rosie walked up the stairs having looked around the ground floor as Ben paced his balcony,  
‘Fuck!’ he said to himself rolling up his script and whacking it against the wall to save his hand. Rosie walked along the landing stopping at the door to his room seeing it was closed. She lifted her hand and knocked lightly hearing no reply she snuck the door open looking around seeing he was not in the bedroom but the gauze curtains wafted back and forth near the open balcony door, she padded softly across the room and stepped lightly out onto the wooden floor seeing Ben leaning with his back on the wall his eyes closed and his fists clenched at his sides,  
‘Benedict?’ she said softly and his eyes flicked open, not friendly but torrid with anger as he glared at her,   
‘Shouldn’t you be with your husband?’ he hissed,  
‘I wanted to make sure you were ok, Sam can lose it sometimes. He shouldn’t have come and mouthed off at you; I told him it had nothing to do with you that it wasn’t your fault.’ She tried, ‘Ben please.’  
‘Go back to your husband Rosie.’ He said through gritted teeth,   
‘Ben, Benedict come on.’ She tried again placing her hand on his forearm and he snatched it away like he had been burnt, he turned and looked at her almost pinning her to the wall,  
‘Don’t touch me. You can’t have it both ways! You chose him so you go back to him.’ He said so close she could smell the last cigarette he smoked on his breath but she didn’t move, ‘don’t you fucking cry…’ he said seeing her on the verge but he was so angry in that moment he didn’t care, ‘Rosalind May Cooper go back to your husband!’ he said making sure she got the message. Rosie sniffed clearing her throat a little before standing on tiptoes and whispering in his ear her hand gently on his shoulder,   
‘I am so sorry I hurt you I just hope you find it in your heart to forgive me. I would miss our friendship more than anything in the world and I love you.’ She said quietly in his ear before planting a soft kiss in front of it. As she walked away she wondered whether she had heard him say,  
‘You don’t deserve my forgiveness.’ Whispered under his breath.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nice long chapter that sort of ended up this long by accident enjoy

Benedict threw himself into his work the next day trying to ignore the feelings he pushed down inside him but his mind had other ideas. He dreamt of Rosie’s lips, the gentle softness of her skin beneath his fingers as she kissed him her body given over to his as her tongue moved with his, her taste. Ben scrunched up his eyes against the light beating down on his eyelids eventually he opened them the bright sunlight streaming through the open curtains where he had forgotten to shut them the night before, he rolled over seeing the half empty tumbler of single malt the mostly empty bottle beside it on his nightstand.   
‘Shit my head.’ He said trying to focus on the alarm clock, ‘fuck the time!’ he said seeing he was already an hour late for work sitting bolt upright regretting it as his brain throbbed in his skull. He grabbed his phone seeing he had seven missed calls immediately he called his PA as he strode to the bathroom.  
‘Where are you? You said you would make your own way they’re all waiting for you.’ She hissed,  
‘I know I’m sorry shit I never do this I am getting in the shower now and I will be straight there.’ He said tossing his phone aside stepping into the shower quickly. He felt the hot water hit his skin and he rubbed the shower gel on his sensitised skin closing his eyes remembering Rosie's hands on his body and he felt himself stirring; ‘not now.’ He looked down letting his hands take over his mind thinking only of one thing. Minutes later he slumped against the tiled wall of his shower his chest heaving before washing off his body and stepping out into the cool air drying himself and quickly crossing into his bedroom to find some clothes, he turned to pull on his watch seeing a glass of water with two tablets fizzing away inside it next to his phone. He smiled to himself gulping it down in three goes stuffing his phone in his pocket and pulling on his shoes pulling his sunglasses from his drawer and jamming them in his shirt pocket dashing downstairs and into the kitchen where Rosie sat her reading glasses perched on her nose knitting in her fingers.  
‘I made you some breakfast.’ She said nodding towards the table where a bacon sandwich was sitting waiting for him next to some orange juice and coffee,  
‘I may have to eat and run.’ He said,  
‘I ordered you a taxi it will be here in ten minutes and I have called Helen to let her know. You can’t drive I don’t think you are actually sober yet.’ She said her needles clicking together as she worked with some dark grey wool. Ben sat down grateful for the food,  
‘Thanks…I mean it thanks for everything and I’m sorry for shouting at you the other night.’ He said tucking in greedily as she watched him, ‘where’s Sam?’ he said not wanting to rock the boat, he had heard them talking a lot sometimes shouting but not as much as before.  
‘He’s still asleep, we were going to go and explore Venice beach and the marina spend some time together.’ She said,  
‘Have you had time to talk?’ he said draining his coffee cup feeling his headache begin to ease seeing her look up at him,  
‘Yes…we’re fine.’ She said not giving him any more information going back to her knitting hearing the cab pull up outside signalling its arrival. ‘You should go you’re late.’ She said pushing her chair back and picking up his plate and cup taking them to the sink; Ben went to say something before exhaling and making his way out to the car trying to focus on his work he ran his thumb over the screen of his phone hovering over Jenny’s number before finally calling it,  
‘Hey I didn’t think you were going to call me, playing it cool?’ her voice said, Ben smiled a little,  
‘No I apologise I have been working stupid hours and I don’t like to text when arranging second dates. I just wanted to say I had been thinking about you and that night and I would like if you would to see you again.’ He said hearing her melt a little,  
‘I would love to when are you free?’ she asked,  
‘Well either tonight or tomorrow.’ He said,  
‘I have to work tonight but tomorrow sounds good.’  
‘Damn.’ He said,   
‘Problem?’ she asked, ben ran his fingers through his rapidly drying hair,  
‘A bunch of us were going to go out tomorrow night, you know my friends are over from the UK, do you want to come that way you get to meet some of my friends and its more relaxed?’ He said knowing Rosie would be there.   
‘Yeah it sounds cool.’  
‘Excellent well I think the plan is to grab dinner before and then head to a bar and go from there.’ Ben said, ‘so I’ll pick you up at six thirty if that’s ok, I will be late I always am just to warn you now.’ He said,  
‘I noticed the last time.’ She giggled, ‘I will see you at seven, I’ll message you my address.’ She said saying their goodbyes and going back to her studies. Ben lent back in the seat getting a few moments of sleep before the taxi arrived and he knew he was in trouble bracing himself for the onslaught from his director. He walked sheepishly onto set,  
‘Where in the hell have you been?’ the assistant director asked him, ‘and you’re half bloody cut.’ He added, Ben looked at him,  
‘I’m so so sorry this isn’t me, I don’t normally do this.’ He said, ‘and it will never happen again.’ He said holding his hands up,  
‘Just get to make up and we will say no more.’ He said watching Ben slink off.

***

Rosie got dressed quickly seeing Sam stir a little,  
‘Morning babe.’ He said as she brushed her hair slipping it into a ponytail before putting on some mascara and a little plain gloss she felt him kiss her neck, ‘you look different.’ He said,  
‘My skin is breaking out from all the make-up thought I would give it a break for a while and it’s just us you know how scary I look in the morning.’ She added,  
‘I’m gonna have a quick shower and then we can get going yeah? Maybe grab some breakfast down there?’ he said,  
‘Yeah seems like a plan.’ She said Sam moved her round to look at him,  
‘Are we ok? I am gonna try I am trying.’ He said kissing her forehead, ‘I can’t help the way I am you just need to tell me what’s going on inside that head of yours.’ He said moving the hair from her face and kissing her lips softly, ‘promise to stop shutting me out.’ He added seeing her nod,  
‘Ok I’ll try, now come on half the day is slipping away.’ She said kissing him back before going to pack some things making sure she had all she needed in her bag. Rosie pulled out her phone typing in the first number, ‘hello I was wondering if I could make an appointment tomorrow.’ She said to the receptionist at a local salon,  
‘What time were you thinking?’ the woman said, ‘we have some morning slots still available.’   
‘Excellent any one of them will be fine thanks.’ Rosie replied,  
‘How about I book you in for eleven.’ She said,  
‘Excellent thank you so much, you don’t happen to know if anywhere can sort out my nails do you I need some acrylics taken off and a quick mani.’ She added,  
‘We can do that for you at the same time.’ The woman said, Rosie smiled,  
‘Great.’  
‘Come in at ten thirty and we can book you in for a mani, pedi then a consultation, cut and colour.’ She said tapping at a keyboard.  
‘Lovely thanks see you then.’ Rosie said hanging up,  
‘You alright?’ Sam said as he walking in doing up his shoelaces and slinging his jacket on gulping down a glass of water before they headed out,  
‘I booked myself in for some pampering tomorrow, I needed to head out to get a dress to wear to go out in as I didn’t bring one for clubbing being the tit that I am I totally forgot I know it is still sitting on the bed at home.’ She said rolling her eyes,  
‘Women any excuse to shop I tell you.’ He said making her laugh, ‘come on time to explore you can tell me how this article is coming along and then if you behave I might be tolerant enough to talk about centrepieces.’ He said winking seeing her smile.  
‘Oh look there do you see it a flying pig.’ She said seeing him look at the sky before turning to her eyebrow aloft.   
‘Ha ha very funny.’ He said, ‘that’s the first strike.’ He added dropping into the passenger seat as she started the engine. 

Sam took her hand as they sat watching people slowly drinking their coffees and soaking in the rays of the sun still gently warming at this time of the year. Sam had as per usual polished off enough food for three people and Rosie had managed to force something down her not feeling particularly in the mood to eat but she was trying, deciding that if Sam was going to make an effort then she could. She smiled as a toddler careered into her legs landing with a thump their dad running after them,  
‘Deary me there we go.’ She said up righting the child, who turned and toddled back to their dad,  
‘Sorry.’ The man said and she waved him on with a  
‘No harm done.’ Sam watched her for a moment as she watched the small child laughing as it did the same to an older woman a few tables down and he knew there was something about her that had changed, that was slipping away from him and he didn’t think he could do anything to stop it happening. Sam had to admit that as much as he loved Rosie he had always wondered how they had lasted as long as they had. She was completely opposite to him and that at first had been his attraction; he was used to unfortunately being around women who valued their looks over brains, who wanted a man who was well groomed, wore the right things and knew the right people. Women with fake hair, breasts, a year round tan, who had their teeth done and nails done and anything else they could think of but Rosie was different dressed in her fraying skinny jeans and an old jumper belonging to her brother finished off with some scuffed boots and her hair a mess, reading glasses taped at the side and falling off her nose that was imperfect in many ways. To small, retroussé and with the smallest of bumps in the bridge, something that definitely would have been fixed had she have grown up where he did and he had overlooked it. Her breasts were average, a underwhelming C cup at best and they were uneven the left marginally bigger than the right but she didn’t seem to care, her body was always a little too soft and he had tried to get her to train with him but she just didn’t want to, preferred to stay home and bake cakes and bread, cook for dinner parties instead of hitting the gym and now she was getting married she seemed to care even less about slimming into a dress as most women would. Sam if he was being honest knew he had pointed all these flaws out to her in some way of course trying not to be offensive and he knew she had tried to change. Rosie had slowly become one of the girls he was trying to move away from now as she sat there her fake nails winding their way into his palm her extensions blowing in the wind and her fake tan making her gleam in a sun kissed way her breasts augmented by a bra that was designed to make them appear a cup size bigger, her face was currently free of most make up which was becoming a rarity and he knew she was becoming less and less comfortable with him instead of the other way round which is how it should have been and now he finally saw it – how his actions changed her, were currently changing her and she had lost her fight to tell him – Sam worried if he would ever be able to get her back…did he want her back?  
‘You know you are gonna be a great mum.’ He said making her look at him in startled surprise almost choking on a pastry,  
‘Where did that come from?’ she asked seeing him smile.  
‘I was just watching you and I thought about your kids and thought you would be a great mum.’ He said shrugging and standing up placing down the money and a tip, ‘come on let’s go for a wander.’ He held out his hand to her seeing her get up placing hers in his. 

Rosie rolled her eyes as Sam blatantly looked at a woman’s breasts as she chased her dog around the beach in a bikini that was too small and weather inappropriate making her look down at her own boobs sighing under her breath before hooking them up in her bra trying to make them bigger.   
‘So what do you want to do?’ she said seeing him beginning to lose patience,  
‘Something less arty.’ He said. They had spent the best part of the day walking around looking at and watching all the street artists, browsing the art wall,  
‘Umm it’s a bit calm for water sports and I didn’t bring my swimming stuff, do you want to take a look around the marina?’ she suggested seeing him shrug, ‘or we could head back into the city and have an explore, or drive on down the coast and look at the scenery?’ she added  
‘Yeah any of those.’   
‘Well which one would you prefer, I mean do you want to stay around here and have dinner, do you want to see if we find somewhere else, go into LA or have dinner at the house?’ she tried,  
‘You are always thinking about food.’ He noted making her set her jaw slightly knowing she didn’t want another fight,  
‘I am just trying to canvas your opinion, you never say what you want to do but you often complain when we are there.’  
‘I’m not the one with the guide book am I?’ he retorted in an annoyed fashion, Rosie took it calmly from her handbag and opened it up scanning the pages,  
‘There are some nice seafood restaurants a little further on down the coast. We can walk round the marina and then maybe drive on a little find this place and then we can head home I think we both could use an early night I have to be up and about tomorrow and you have been working a lot the last week.’ She suggested trying to keep her voice level trying not to get upset about his apathy.   
‘After you.’ He said as they headed back off the pier and headed down towards the marina. Rosie admired all the tall and expensive looking yachts and wondered what it might be like to cruise around the world on one,  
‘Wouldn’t it be amazing to just be able to cruise anywhere you wanted?’ she said leaning on the railings, Sam snorted,  
‘Not in this lifetime babe.’ He said walking on stopping to read a sign,  
‘Well I can always dream I mean we get to go out on boats with the job but it’s not quite the same.’ She said,  
‘Speaking of which did I tell you about what we saw the other day when we were out?’ he said animatedly. Rosie almost wished she had the guts to say he had when he started to wax lyrical about turtles again and the fact that she wanted him to at least once ask about her article, her days anything but instead she bit back just letting her mind drift off nodding when she needed to. 

***

Ben felt his phone buzz and he looked at it seeing a text message,  
“Hey hope that your hangover isn’t too painful and they didn’t sack you for being late. Such a nice day at the beach, people here are insane.” It began a picture of a small pack of Chihuahuas dressed in very strange costumes being walked by a woman dressed equally as weirdly, Ben smiled sending a quick reply,  
“I’m sure that’s catching on in London too saw some similar things in Harrods once. No they didn’t sack me…quite…but I did get a telling off. X” pressing send and going back to his script feeling her reply moments later,  
“Sun is setting shouldn’t you be finishing for the day?” it said with a picture of the sunset over the marina the colours streaking the sky above yachts, “Been dreaming about being whisked away by prince charming on a fabulous yacht for dinner under the stars…but nobody had 40 million to spare. X”   
“Working late as penance for my sins ;-) x p.s. Disney stories aren’t real but doesn’t mean starlight dinners on the pacific shouldn’t come true…” he said smiling to himself wishing he could show her how she was supposed to be treated wanting to knock Sam on the head and point out that any romantic gesture was worth something wondering how he missed life lesson number one, how to impress and keep a girl.   
“Damn I knew I shouldn’t have wasted my time trying to teach mice to sew, avoiding apples and walking in glass slippers (major health and safety risk unless made of Pyrex) :-D now go do some work, if you can call that thingy you do work. :-P xx” Ben smiled to himself looking up seeing his make-up artist looking at him,  
‘Who’s made you smile for the first time all day?’ she teased seeing him crinkle a little more,  
‘Just a friend.’ He said and she grinned,  
‘I see…’ she tapped the side of her nose winking, ‘now stop it you are ruining my perfect job.’ Ben immediately straightened his mouth widening his eyes looking like a naughty child,  
‘Don’t start being pissed with me as well Linda.’ He said taking her hand in mock ass kissing mode, ‘promise…?’ he said she powdered his cheeks again,  
‘Behave then.’ She winked again and the director called for them to resume the large behemoths of camera gliding silently on tracks back into place the light levels being checked and warming gowns and coats being removed as actors took their places again. He had wondered whether to tell Rosie about bringing a date the following night and then decided against it at the moment he didn’t want to ruin her evening when he could tell her tomorrow face to face when he found the right moment. Ben promised himself he would tell her as he wound his mind back into his character running over how he was going to say his lines once more before the director yelled,  
‘Action.’ And he was thrust into his world once more. 

***

Rosie placed her bag down on the kitchen table seeing Ewan was home confirmed moments later as he padded into the kitchen,  
‘Hello hello did you two have a good day?’ he said looking refreshed from his little break.  
‘Yeah we did thanks went down to Venice and beyond, took in the sights didn’t we Sam?’ she said trying to include him,  
‘Hmm yeah.’ He said disinterested looking at his phone, a few seconds later he grabbed his laptop, ‘that’s my agent says he’s got some things for me to look over and then I have to start editing some of the footage from the past few days for the online news reports.’ He said,  
‘Do you want some coffee?’ Rosie called after him,  
‘Umm yeah ok.’ He said not waiting for her to make it. Rosie started up the kettle,   
‘Ewan do you want some?’ she asked as he flicked through a script trying to ignore the tension,  
‘If you’re making thanks.’ He said, ‘black no additives for me.’ He said smiling at her. Rosie nodded,  
‘When did you get back?’ she turned seeing him look up, ‘sorry I’m interrupting.’  
‘Nah you’re alright go ahead.’ He said closing his script after marking the page, ‘flight landed about an hour ago but I only had carry on and it was internal so security was quick got back about ten minutes before you.’ He said,  
‘Where did you jet off to?’ she asked,  
‘Yeah I did leave in a rush, my wife was in New York for the weekend and I had some free time so I popped across to see her and the kids and visit some friends.’ He said thanking her as she placed some coffee in front of him,  
‘God it must suck sometimes to be so far away from each other.’ She said, ‘I know it’s hard for me and Sam and we don’t have any kids.’  
‘Well I find you make it work if you have to make it work. It’s not ideal but we are looking to move out here permanently that’s why I am house hunting as well as working. The middle two kids are changing schools and my oldest has just done her GCSEs so now’s the time to move, typically though the longer I have stayed in London the more jobs I get over here and then now we decide to move and I am filming in Europe or the UK for the next 18 months, but there we go.’ He shrugged, ‘Eve is great she just gets on with it and comes out when she can with the kids and we make sure we go back to London and Scotland and France in the holidays I guess if your life is always one way you get used to it being your life and as any actor will tell you that if you are lucky enough to get work however “famous” you become then you would be hard pushed to turn your nose up at it.’ He said sipping his coffee.   
‘Fair point, I guess I am lucky really. I can either ground myself in one place or write from wherever but Sam is about to be sent all over the world and I am finally working my way up with the right people typically just when you want kids you get to the high point in your career.’   
‘Isn’t that what grandparents are for?’ she said making her laugh and nod,  
‘I guess so I know kids are never convenient but he looks horrified when I bring it up especially when I say if he wants to help out in the first year he needs to postpone his big jump into presenting.’ She shrugged, ‘better take him his coffee.’ She added excusing herself and making her way upstairs finding Sam in the games room come office and placed his coffee down she waited for a thank you which never came and she walked from the room finding her bag of knitting and making her way downstairs. ‘Have you eaten?’ she asked Ewan who drained the rest of his coffee,   
‘Only a quick sandwich on the plane.’ He said, ‘but I’m fine I can order something in when Ben gets back don’t think he will want to cook much.’   
‘Tell you what I will rustle up some pasta sauce and then you can have yours when you want and he can heat it up when he comes in.’ she said taking out a pan and heating some oil tossing in some chorizo, onions and garlic waiting for it to sizzle away before adding her tomatoes, herbs and some grated parmesan seasoning it and setting it to one side to simmer. Ewan watched her as she rustled up the food without so much of a worry about how it ate into her free time and he stood up putting a pan of water on to boil and finding some pasta dropping it in when bubbles began to rise.  
‘Thanks you didn’t have to.’ He said tasting her sauce, ‘mmm this is delicious.’ He said,  
‘You’re welcome, there is more cheese and some olives there if you want to add them I know Ben isn’t a huge fan.’ She said as he stirred his pasta,  
‘Sit please and keep me company.’ He said as she went to leave.   
‘Ok sure why not.’ And she grabbed a bottle of red wine from last night pulling the cork out and pouring a glass, ‘wine?’   
‘Nah you’re alright I have got an early start tomorrow and I think the jet lag will make me sleep well enough.’ He dished himself up some food and sat down at the table adding his olives and cheese, ‘you going to this charity thingy on the weekend?’ he asked tucking in ravenously,  
‘Yep Christ knows what I am going to wear, I think I will have to drag Ben shopping with me. He keeps wearing all his clothes he steals from photo shoots and wearing them in a round robin fashion.’ She said making Ewan laugh,  
‘I have tried and failed so maybe you will have better luck. I hear Spielberg wants you to sort out his bins.’  
‘He wants me to make his film sets more eco-friendly, actually got really into it which was both the weirdest and coolest conversation I have ever had.’  
‘Yeah I have met him but haven’t had the opportunity to make a film with him yet, he seems like a decent bloke.’ Ewan said, ‘this pasta is amazing just what I needed.’ He added seeing her smile again,  
‘You should smile more and less make up, can actually see your face and I’m not sure why you cover it up.’ He said making her blush. ‘So tell me any good stories you can tell me about Ben?’ he asked seeing her shake her head,  
‘No can do I’m afraid good friends never tell secrets but believe me if he ever gets married I have a speech that could last an hour.’ She said making him smile slyly,  
‘I will be there to hear that.’ Ewan put his plate in the dishwasher,  
‘I will leave you to get through that script otherwise this scarf will never be finished.’ She took her wine and knitting and made her way outside. 

At half past nine Ben burst through the front door kicking off his shoes and dumping his bag on top of them padding into the kitchen,  
‘You alright mate late night.’ Ewan noted as he downed a few glasses of water wiping his mouth on his jumper sleeve.  
‘Christ tell me about it I went on a mini drink by yourself bender last night, those two were at it again and I don’t mean shagging,’ he looked at Ewan’s face, ‘something is very up between them, she won’t talk to me, I just hope she has told him what’s going on.’  
‘He bullies her.’ Ewan noted sipping his water and flipping the page,   
‘To put it plainly yes and it annoys the hell out of me because she is so damn feisty or she was but he seems to have pushed the fight out of her. She would never have let him get away with this shit two years ago…’ Ben said,  
‘She made pasta…’ Ewan added into the silence as Ben span around putting some into a bowl and placing it in the microwave noting she had left out the olives smiling to himself, Ewan let Ben take a moment, ‘how was the cycling trip?’ he asked eventually as the microwave pinged and Ben stirred it placing it back in,  
‘Fucking disaster. Not only did I have an accident and skinned my back and my leg,’ he showed Ewan getting an appropriate wincing response, ‘but I tried to broach what was wrong and we had a huge bloody fight and now she doesn’t really want to talk to me. She basically told me it was too late for me to get involved, to pretend I gave a shit about her and why could I be happy for her.’   
‘My response is how could I be when I could see that she wasn’t what kind of friend would it make me.’  
‘And she said?’  
‘That I was too late.’ Ben looked crestfallen as he poured himself some wine letting the silence permeate looking up seeing Ewan looking at him sympathetically, ‘shit it’s a fucking mess…’ he said and Ewan didn’t respond, ‘fuck it I am aren’t I…I’m in love with her and she’s right I’m too late.’ This time when he looked up Ewan was pulling him into a hug,  
‘You need to be a hundred percent sure before you break up a marriage. But your right she isn’t happy, does she feel the same way about you?’ Ben nodded,  
‘We may have…you know…kissed.’ He said as Ewan laid a hand on his shoulder, ‘she kissed me, then there was crying, then fighting, then silence and I have no clue what to do because I told her to try and make it work!’ he cursed himself.  
‘Look give her some time, just act like normal you don’t have to stop being her friend. She’s right; they need to work this out before she can process what is going on with you two; look you two flirted up a storm before why stop now it makes it more suspicious we both know he’s a dick so you have two choices, one you make her jealous or two you show her what you can give her that he doesn’t be yourself – charming, polite, kind and loving – she will pick the right man in the end and if she doesn’t if she chooses him then I’m sorry but she was right you should have made your move years ago instead of pushing her away and that is life and you will have to live with it. But let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.’ Ewan said to him hugging him again.  
‘You’re right. Where are they both?’  
‘Sam is working somewhere and she is out knitting.’ Ewan pointed to the door, ‘you should eat.’ He nodded to the microwave.  
‘I am going to act as normal, so I am going to say hi.’ He said, ‘and I might just be a little extra charming.’ Ben winked as Ewan grinned his blue eyes twinkling in their conspiracy, ‘not a word to anyone else.’ Ewan winked as he walked out of the door bowl in hand wine in the other. 

Ben heard the click of her needles as he rounded the corner,  
‘Mind if I join you?’ she looked up her glasses falling off as she shook her head and she balanced them back on, ‘thanks for dinner I love this pasta.’   
‘You’re welcome Ewan got back late so I did something quick and easy. You’re back late what time is it?’   
‘Almost ten, we had some reshoots to do from the other day and it just took forever to set up right pain in the ass but I am almost finished filming my bits now, just another couple of weeks and I will be back in rainy London.’ He said eating his pasta, ‘how’s the scarf coming along?’   
‘Not bad.’ She held it up showing him the three foot she had completed. ‘Should be done by the end of the year.’  
‘How was your day I got your photos looks like a nice day for it. Where did you go to eat in the end?’   
‘We went and grabbed some seafood close to Venice. I enjoyed myself there are some amazing artists and museums around there. Not to mention the street performers it’s like the Southbank at the height of summer and I love to wander down there and people watch. The marina was beautiful…’ she faded off.  
‘And.’  
‘Eh it’s nothing I don’t think Sam enjoyed himself though he isn’t into anything arty but there we go. I really wish he had bothered to ask me a single question about myself but not once ever…’ she said, ‘and I was so excited to tell him about the article.’ She said fiddling with the tape on her glasses.  
‘Tell me about it.’  
‘You don’t want to hear all that after a long day.’  
‘Believe me I do there’s nothing else I’d rather hear beats talking about me which is all I seem to do lately.’ He said waiting patiently and Rosie paused before tucking her knitting aside leaning forward.  
‘Well I sent a draft in to the Times and they were really excited about it. Said that I had managed to capture the spirit of not only what changes the city was making but how the people felt about it. They have had a chat with the LA Times and they want to pick up the article and run it as a feature and get this they want me to interview Arnold Schwarzenegger and current governor Jerry Brown to get their views and they are going to make it a feature both here and there.’ She said,  
‘Oh my god Rose that’s amazing - good work.’ He said giving her a hug, ‘clean air is such big money around here.’  
‘Well Brown has made so many cuts recently to public spending and trying to create jobs that he isn’t managing to do, but he is managing to cut carbon emissions bringing the state in line with the clean air laws. He needs some good press and the Times endorsed his campaign so they are keen to get a good view from him.’ She said, ‘this is amazing stuff, I mean I never get the big interviews.’  
‘I’m so proud of you darling it’s about bloody time they took some notice of you.’  
‘Well they even said that they might televise the interview. Ben I could be a proper reporter, you never know I have been thinking I would love to do some reporting be a presenter. I have been watching Sam and it doesn’t look too hard I did a double major with zoology I know I could present on nature and the environment, you always see those programmes and…’ she stopped abruptly, ‘now I’m getting carried away.’  
‘You have to have something to aspire to and why shouldn’t you be the next I don’t know who was that woman with the gorillas?’  
‘I have no clue but yes I could be her.’ Ben wanted to bring up Sam tell her that she had to tell him but he didn’t want to burst her bubble and he didn’t want to bring up jenny so instead he bowed out,   
‘Come on Attenborough its freezing time to go inside I think.’ He said picking up his empty plates and making his way up holding open the door for her locking it behind her.  
‘Thanks so you back at work in the morning?’ she said getting some water and handing him some,  
‘Yep, you?’  
‘Bit of work and then some shopping for later I guess shall we meet you at the restaurant with the guys or shall we wait for you?’  
‘Oh go on without me god knows when I will be.’ He lied rubbing his lips with his fingers as they parted in separate directions on the landing, ‘Night.’ He called hearing her reply and making his way to bed ignoring Sam as he walked past where he was engrossed with his laptop. Rosie tucked herself into bed smiling to herself, at least something was going right in her life who cared if Sam wanted to be selfish,  
‘Two can play at that game.’ She said as she turned off the light and slowly drifted off.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit of a long one, sorry it has taken a while I have had lots of things going on like some job interviews. Thanks for the kudos and comments. x

Chapter 9

Rosie looked up scanning the street checking the addresses and finding the salon making her way inside walking up to the reception desk,  
‘Hi I have an appointment at ten thirty Rosie Cooper.’ She said seeing the woman type something before looking up,  
‘Please take a seat and someone will be along to give you your consultation shortly.’ She said getting someone to take her coat hanging it up, Rosie sat down flicking through some magazines looking for something that would work with her face before a young man walked up to her,  
‘Miss Cooper.’ Rosie looked up nodding, ‘hi I’m Mike I will be your stylist today if you want to come with me we can have a chat about what you want.’ He said showing her to a chair and sitting her down running his fingers through her hair pushing it over her shoulders, ‘what did you have in mind?’ he asked,  
‘A few things I want the extensions out and a nice new easy to manage cut I’ll leave that part to you, and then I am fed up of the blonde I miss my natural tones I think I want to go back to a dark auburn.’ She said seeing him nod,  
‘Ok well when we take your extensions out your hair will be just below your shoulders, we can strip, colour and condition and then when it grows out the colour won’t need redoing.’ He said as she nodded,   
‘It has a natural sort of wave come curl.’ She said, ‘and I work in places where I cannot get to a dryer or straightening irons so it needs to dry well naturally.’ She added seeing him think,  
‘How about a shoulder length bob with some gentle bangs at the front with some long choppy layers.’ He said holding her hair to the length it would be, ‘then it won’t hang frizzy and limp when it dries.’ He said seeing her smile.  
‘That would be amazing.’ She said, ‘thank you.’  
‘Don’t thank me just yet.’ He said as a woman came over to greet her,   
‘Miss Cooper I’m Annalisa I’m here to do your manicure and pedicure if you would like to follow me.’ Rosie picked up her bag and followed her into a plush room towards the back being guided to a plush leather chair where she sat down, ‘now if you can roll up your trousers and take off your shoes and socks we can get those feet into a soak and I will start on your nails. Did you have something in mind?’   
‘Well I would love these fake ones off and just a short easy to manage file down and maybe a French polish? And whatever colour on the toes.’ She said,  
‘Well how about a classic deep red on the toes tends to go with everything?’ Rosie nodded, ‘now let’s see what lurks under here.’ She said taking her hands and placing them in a soak. Ten minutes later the acrylic nails were off,   
‘Are they awful?’ she asked trying not to look down as the woman clipped and filed,  
‘Actually they aren’t bad for someone who has had falsies nothing I haven’t dealt with before and I will put a strengthening base coat on before anything else should sort them out for the next time.’ She said as Rosie relaxed back, ‘so are you from England?’ she asked,  
‘Yep just over visiting a friend who is working in LA so any excuse for a holiday and I’m writing an article on air pollution. Sounds thrilling I know.’ She said as the woman looked quizzical,  
‘No well not really my area of interest but someone has to do it.’ She said massaging her hands before setting to work painting her nails. ‘So how come the sudden change in look?’ she said intrigued,  
‘Well my fiancée he comes from a place where women tend to look like this, you know fake tan, fake boobs, blonde, long hair, white teeth and loads of make-up and fake nails…kinda like Jersey.’ She said,  
‘Ooh I get it.’ She said nodding,  
‘And well I guess he liked me the way I was and then he began to make comments. Like I ate too much and didn’t work out enough. He’s a fitness nut not an inch of fat on him…and I quit smoking because he didn’t like that…and then I guess I noticed him looking at other people so I started to change myself into the women he looked at…’  
‘So why the change back?’   
‘Because I am sick I guess of acting my way through my relationship and it took my best friend to point that out on this trip how much I had changed and not for the better. I suppose I have wanted a reason to tell him to back off and now was the time.’  
‘How did he take it?’ she said,  
‘Some parts well and some parts not so well.’ Rosie sighed a tear coming to her eye she dabbed it away trying not to smudge her nails, ‘shit I’m sorry I’m such a mess it’s all a bloody mess.’ She said seeing the stranger look at her sympathetically, ‘god right pull it together Rosie Jesus!’ she said to herself sniffing a little,  
‘This friend sounds like he cares about you…’ Anna reasoned glancing at her face seeing Rosie soften a little,  
‘Yeah he does and I haven’t been very nice to him either…considering I came here to see him.’  
‘Well that’s the good thing I find about friends they are very forgiving as long as you start being nice to them again.’ She smiled finishing her feet,  
‘I hope so.’ She slipped some flip flops on her feet and made her way back into the salon, ‘thank you so much beginning to feel like me again.’   
‘You’re very welcome and I hope everything works out for you.’ She said handing her back over to the stylist who wasted no time in getting her extensions out and her hair coloured and washed before sitting her down in front of him. Rosie almost held her breath as she watched his scissors fly in his skilled fingers; in barely any time at all he had finished snipping and was applying some product to her hair before blasting it with the dryer styling it into loose waves with some tongs and allowing her to take a look. She felt tears prick her eyes as she looked at the shiny hair that now adorned her head framing her face beautifully and making her look young enough to be in her mid-twenties coupled with her skin that was beginning to recover from being free of make-up her spots fading her sallow colour slowly being overtaken by her naturally rosy cheeks.  
‘Please tell me those are good tears.’ He said placing his hands on her shoulders Rosie cupped her face wiping the tears away,  
‘God yes, oh my god thank you so much.’ She said standing up and hugging him,  
‘Well I wish I made everyone that happy.’ He laughed giving her a quick squeeze, Rosie looked down at her watch seeing it was getting close to one in the afternoon,  
‘Thank you again, you have seriously saved my sanity.’ She said handing him a tip and paying her bill making her way out into the fresh air. 

Rosie made her way into the centre of LA walking down the main shopping streets until she found herself meandering through the shopping malls of Beverly Hills browsing as she went her confidence through the roof but part of her dreading Sam’s reaction when he saw her if he even noticed. She started with makeup knowing she was going to throw away all her foundation that matched her previously tanned skin; she walked up to the counter. Rosie had barely looked at a small selection of make up before a woman approached her  
‘Good afternoon can I help you?’ she asked  
‘Yes I am completely revamping my look. I want something that is light, breathable but just covers me up a bit and some simple natural eyeshadow colours, glosses and lipsticks with some options for dressing it up at night without being a drag queen.’ Rosie said, the woman was slightly taken aback by her directness.  
‘Absolutely well have a seat.’ She said placing her in a high chair, ‘I would suggest a mineral powder primer, foundation and a translucent finishing powder, then some blush.’ She said smoothing it onto her face, ‘no chemicals all natural, 100% breathable you could wear it to bed if you wanted to.’ She explained, ‘Then I would go for a neutrals palette, greens, olives, browns, beiges, creams and some deep purples to mix up day and night.’ She said placing one down next to Rosie, ‘and then some mascara and some eyeliner.’ She added some nude lipsticks and a selection of glosses and some brighter pinks, peaches and reds for going out. Rosie smiled looking at herself in the mirror making her smile even wider as she saw her refection. As she went to ring it through the cash register Rosie found a palette of bright eye colours and added it to the pile knowing it would complement her wardrobe,  
‘Could you add these as well please?’ She said seeing the woman add them on,  
‘Of course that will be $150.55.’ The woman said and Rosie pulled out her card hoping it would go through thankful when it did and collecting her purchases and walking onwards.  
‘Right time for a dress.’ She said to herself looking around trying to locate a store. As she browsed she picked up a few tops for work and casual before finding a suitable dress knowing she had some black peeptoe shoes to go with the black jewel embellished neck line of her peach sleeveless shift dress. She felt her stomach grumble as she walked past the smell of coffee and she dipped in for lunch closing her eyes for a moment taking the time to think about everything. Rosie tried to evaluate what her life would be like with Sam and yet all she could think about was what her life would be like with Ben. Her mind flicked to the way he looked at her how he had always looked at her with his bright blue eyes, the way he knew her so well without even having to ask or be told. How genuinely excited he became to hear of even the most trivial aspects of her day and how she was the same when it came to him and his success. Benedict had never even when he had been annoyed with her belittled her or made her feel like she wasn’t special; Rosie let her mind drift to his face again, his glorious bone structure, his adorable upturned nose making her smile, and his lips…those lips, how soft they were when he kissed her; his long fingers as he gripped her firmly with his hands. Lastly the way his lean muscular frame under hers and she couldn’t help but to wonder how he would feel, his weight pressing down on her. She sat there her mind drifting into fantasy until someone jolted her back to reality by placing her sandwich in front of her.

Jenny tapped her pen absent-mindedly on the book in front of her trying to concentrate on the information in front of her,  
‘Jen what is with you?’ Chanice said poking her arm with a pen snapping her back to her study group,  
‘Nothing I was just thinking.’ She said, ‘some of this shit is hard.’ She added seeing Jose suppress a smile,  
‘You were thinking about that hunky man you were on a date with again weren’t you. You had that look.’ He teased,  
‘Shut up I wasn’t.’ she pouted,  
‘Come on you need to spill girl.’ Chanice coaxed, ‘what does he do. I mean I know he is British and has eyes to die for and pecs like concrete.’ She winked,  
‘He’s an…actor…’ she said seeing them all swoon a little,  
‘What’s he in?’ they both said in unison,  
‘He plays Sherlock Holmes.’  
‘Benedict Cumberbatch!’ Jose exclaimed making Jenny ssh him quickly,  
‘Jesus man be quiet.’  
‘I know but Christ alive that man is sex on an alien stick. And he is fucking minted.’ He said leaning forward,  
‘Wow have you slept with him, did you know before you slept with him?’ Chanice asked,  
‘We may have hooked up and guys he is just a really decent guy. I admit I did recognise him but I couldn’t place him that quickly but the next morning I had Googled him and I knew completely who he was.’ She said, ‘but that’s not why I like him honestly he is so charming.’  
‘And rich did I mention rich.’  
‘Yes Jose you did and it doesn’t matter to me that he’s rich…’ they stared at her knowing she was lying a little, ‘well not saying that it doesn’t sweeten the appeal.’ She said shaking her head. ‘Anyway we have a date tonight going out with him and some of his friends.’ She said,  
‘You lucky little bitch, don’t screw it up you could marry this guy.’ Chanice said seeing her raise an eyebrow,  
‘I dunno I think I would kill him…’  
‘Explain…’ Jose said biting his nail,  
‘Well he was a bit of a pussy in bed I mean he let me call all the shots.’ She frowned remembering their night together  
‘Maybe he was drunk; maybe he enjoyed being told what to do you can’t blame a man for sitting back if you offer to take the reins. Christ you can’t make a decision on one session.’ He said trying to reason.  
‘I dunno guys it’s like I like him and I don’t know why. It’s not the money I think it’s the charm and the fact he is polite but I think he is too nice for me, you know I like my men a little rough around the edges. A bit more rugged.’ She said,  
‘And they always break your heart so maybe playing it safe is the way to go.’ Chanice attempted seeing Jenny nod,  
‘Yeah I guess, look tonight should be fun either way if Ben isn’t exciting there is always his hot piece of ass friend to stare at…now that man was stacked!’ she giggled eliciting eye rolling from her friends,  
‘You are one giant hussy.’ Jose teased getting her middle finger in return,  
‘Laters I got to go beautify myself.’ She said collecting her things leaving the two in giggles. 

***

Sam packed the last few items into his bag finding his swimming trunks from where they were drying in the bathroom tossing them in with a clean towel zipping it up, he was due to leave again at five in the morning and knew he wouldn’t have time to pack when he got up. He tossed in his phone charger and stuffed his phone in his jeans pocket looking himself up and down wondering whether he needed to change from black jeans to black trousers and he decided against it slipping his linen navy blazer over his white shirt undoing the second button running his hand through his hair and checking his reflection smiling to himself. He grabbed his wallet and made his way back out into the bedroom seeing Rosie dropping some things into a small clutch before running her hand through her hair, she was pissed at him he could tell by the set of her shoulders the way she barely looked at him and he knew it was because it took him four hours to notice the fact she had changed almost everything about herself. He didn’t know whether he was supposed to be impressed at her new look, her short hair devoid of any highlights her skin slowly paling where she had scrubbed it clean, her face barely covered in make-up and her short clipped nails. She looked almost as she did when he had first met her but there was something different about her now it was almost like she was shoving it in his face the idea that she didn’t care what he thought, she didn’t even give him any warning.  
‘You look nice.’ He said looking her up and down her legs barely covered by her short dress, Rosie turned to look at him,  
‘I would say thank you if I thought you meant it.’ She said pulling on her heels and finding a light wrap pulling it round her shoulders,  
‘Come on babe I do mean it you look nice.’ He said pushing her hair over her shoulder kissing her bare skin feeling her hand move to his waist,  
‘Come on we’re gonna be late.’ She said trying to move away feeling his hand hold her steady his bulk stopping her from moving as he cupped her face with the other hand,  
‘Babe we’ve got ages yet.’ He said kissing her lips feeling her stiffen slightly, ‘you gone off me now?’ he scoffed seeing her frown,  
‘No I just don’t want to be late and I have just done this face.’ She said trying to make a joke waving her hand up and down indicating her make-up, Sam looked at her tensely,  
‘Rose if you don’t wanna kiss me or fuck me then you obviously don’t want to marry me.’ He said,  
‘I never fucking said any of that! Jesus you tell me I don’t look good enough, that I’m too fat, my tits are too small, my ass is too big, I’m too pale. I have changed everything for you and you are never happy!’ she threw her bag on the floor, ‘Christ! What the hell do you want from me, who do you want me to be?! You fell in love with me when I looked like this, I am happy like this and all you can say is I look fucking nice! NICE!’ she screamed. ‘I don’t think you understand me. You never listen to me, I have tried, lord knows I am trying but this marriage has to be fifty fifty I can’t keep walking on eggshells I want to be that strong woman that I know I am but you terrify me.’ She said.  
‘I terrify you!’ he snapped blocking her exit from the room,  
‘You bully me, you emotionally bully me and you use your size to make me feel small.’ She said trying to move him but he closed the door with his foot,  
‘No I think you need to calm down for a minute before we go anywhere.’ He said, ‘Rosie don’t overreact.’ He added seeing her eyes narrow as she stepped back picking up her bag and her wrap and took a breath,  
‘Fine I apologise can we just get going.’ She said seeing him relent letting her past and she hastily made her way to the cab that was now waiting outside. The trip to the restaurant was tense with neither of them wanting to make the tense air any worse thankfully making it to the restaurant ten minutes late.

Rosie greeted Ewan, Zach and Jon quickly before sitting down thanking Ewan for pouring her a glass of wine trying to ignore the worried look he gave her,  
‘Does anyone want a different drink; I am going to pop to the bar.’  
‘I would love a G&T.’ Ewan said seeing her nod and make her way across the room leaning against the bar twiddling on her heel waiting for the bartender to finish his current order. She watched the room for a moment seeing a mixture of couples and friends out for dinner all dressed up laughing and joking or sharing an intimate moments. The door opened catching her eye and she saw Benedict walk in, she went to wave at him but he turned holding the door open for someone behind him and her mouth dropped a little as she saw Ben’s date dressed in a skin-tight purple dress who instantly linked her arm back into his as the door closed and Ben asked the greeter where the table was,  
‘Can I help you?’ the bartender said making her turn back around smiling,   
‘Yes, can I have two gin and tonics and one vodka and tonic, and two bourbons please.’ She said seeing him nod and set about making her drinks and she watched as Ben introduced the woman to the table seeing them all shake hands. Rosie narrowed her eyes as the woman hugged Sam without hugging anyone else sitting down next to him forcing Ben to sit one further along,   
‘Anything else?’ the man said making her look at him,  
‘No that’s it thanks can you put it on the table.’ She said,  
‘Yep here I’ll bring some of these.’ He said as she tried to pick up more than three,   
‘Thanks.’ She said making her way back to the table placing her drinks down and passing them around before placing her hand on Ben’s shoulder, ‘I got you a vodka and tonic.’ She said running her hand down his arm a little giving him a quick hug, ‘sorry I didn’t know he was bringing something, what can I get you umm don’t tell me I know this…Jenny?’ she nodded,  
‘Oh I am ok with wine thanks.’ She said showing her her glass and Rosie smiled softly looking back at Ben who was now avidly checking her out before he could say anything she moved back to her seat opposite him seeing his eyes flick over her again catching her watching him smiling guiltily as she slyly smiled back. Benedict wanted to walk over to her and congratulate her for sticking her middle finger up at everyone who had made her feel small and yet he noted she was on edge and a little uneasy,  
‘So have you been here before?’ Jenny asked bringing him back to reality, ‘what is your recommendation?’ she said smiling at him a row of perfect white teeth glinting back at him,  
‘Umm the scallops are really good. The steak is divine…’  
‘Oh I don’t really do seafood, or red meat.’ She countered seeing Ben frown at the menu,   
‘Umm ooh well then I don’t know, the pasta always looks good when Ewan has it.’ Jenny pulled a face,   
‘I think I will go with the salad.’ She said and Ben raised his eyebrows,  
‘Fair enough tortellini for me and the beef.’ He said to the waiter,  
‘I’m with you I don’t see the need for eating unhealthily because you are out to dinner.’ Sam said to her making Jenny smile,  
‘I know right finally someone who gets where I’m coming from. I didn’t get to know you very well the other day.’ She said and with that Ben and Rosie never got another word in.

***

Rosie handed Sam’s coat into the cloakroom taking the ticket and slipping it in her handbag,  
‘Shouldn’t he be doing that?’ Ben said behind her but before she could turn she felt his body slide in behind hers as he ran his fingers lightly down her arms his voice rumbling in her ear, ‘you look stunning, that colour suits you. I love the new look…or should I say the old look.’ He said making her knees a little weak as he moved one hand to her stomach. ‘I take it this is a new dress?’ he said,  
‘Don’t flatter yourself why would I buy a new dress, definitely not to impress you.’ She scoffed, Ben moved the hair over one shoulder running his fingers down her neck feeling it extend as she rolled her head back onto his shoulder taking in a sharp breath as he stopped short of her collarbone,  
‘Because you left the label in.’ he said pulling the tag from the back seeing her colour a little,  
‘Shit.’ She mumbled reaching back her hand hitting his,  
‘Don’t worry I got it.’ He said pulling out the tag and stuffing it in his pocket before leaning forward tickling the back of her head with his nose before softly kissing the nape of her neck hearing her moan softly her body arching back onto his, he walked round her seeing her eyes open,  
‘You look pretty smart too.’ She looked him up and down appreciatively admiring the tailored suit he was wearing that showed off his new physique, ‘how’s the leg?’ she asked,  
‘Ooh it still works.’  
‘And the back?’ she glanced up into his eyes,  
‘Much improved since you kissed me better.’ He barely growled his hands now settling on her hips. Rosie bit her lip,  
‘Mr Cumberbatch are you flirting with me?’ she said smiling a little seeing him grin impishly,  
‘I might be, you said you wanted to get back to normal.’ He said seeing her face agree,  
‘That I did.’ She noted the group coming and she pulled away, ‘I think we should get a drink you have a date to impress remember.’ She finished just as Ewan came to check in his coat and Ben followed her to the bar ordering their drinks and settling down in the booth.  
‘Come and dance with me.’ Jenny said taking Ben’s hand,  
‘Ok but I warn you I get a little…into it.’ He said taking to the floor of the salsa club and pulling her with him hearing the rhythm of the song and beginning to bob along madly seeing Jenny look at him frowning,  
‘What are you doing?’ she hissed trying to contain her moves,  
‘Having a little fun, oh come on no one is watching just relax.’ He said trying to engage her in his dancing. She lasted one song before holding up her hands,   
‘Ok I’m done you are a horrific dancer.’ She joked seeing the smile leave his face as he sat down. Within moments she had placed her hand on his thigh and a flash went off in their face.  
‘Hey not cool guys come on I will have to kick you out if you don’t leave these folks alone.’ Someone said pulling the two men with cameras away. Rosie lent in,  
‘Do you want to dance?’ she said tapping her feet to the beat of the song.  
‘I would love to.’ He replied removing Jenny’s grip from his leg and leading Rosie to the dance floor. Rosie shot a look at Jenny smiling sadistically at her as she moved into Ben’s body as he wrapped an arm around her waist and Rosie lent against him listening to the song, ‘apparently I am “a horrific dancer”.’ He said seeing her smile,  
‘Well let’s show her that’s just simply not true.’ She said bending back feeling Ben support her back placing his hands under her shoulders as she felt her pelvis push against his. She ran her hands up his chest as she flicked her body back up his undoing some of his buttons revealing his chest hair she moved her body rhythmically her hips swaying and dipping as he opposed her movements his hands running down her back and over her hips. She allowed her hands to do the same feeling his muscles sliding beneath his skin as his eyes bored into hers their bodies getting sweaty, their hearts racing as they moved together in the sensual rhythm. Ben turned her round pulling her hips in sliding his hands across her stomach and thighs as she reached behind her head holding his neck the other guiding his hand across her skin as she pushed her bum back against his crotch hearing him groan his hands tightening pulling her closer making her smile as she teased him further,  
‘Behave.’ He hissed trying not to bite down on the soft part of her neck his breath hot against her skin,  
‘Why?’ she giggled over the music reaching her hand round behind her cupping his bottom squeezing it digging in her nails before dragging them over the tight material of his suit trousers hearing him suck the air between his teeth,  
‘People might see us.’ He said flipping her round slamming her body against his,  
‘I thought you said the flirting was normal.’ She said fluttering her eyelashes,  
‘Ooh you bad girl…you bad bad girl.’ His eyelids became heavy,  
‘Parts of you certainly think so.’ She teased moving her thigh between his legs,   
‘God are you trying to kill me?’ he smiled seeing her grin.

The good mood wasn’t to last as Sam stalked onto the dance floor ripping her away,  
‘What the hell are you doing? You have been out here for an hour.’ He breathed and that was when Ben saw it, the fear in her eyes and it turned his stomach. Sam’s fingers twisted tightly on her arm and he pulled her away.  
‘Hey just hang on a minute we were dancing…having a good time.’ He said,  
‘Yeah I could see your good time mate! You might as well have been fucking her right then and there.’ He pushed Ben away,  
‘Look come on just let her go and we will all sit down and get a drink.’ Ben tried to placate him getting worried. Sam turned on him,  
‘Of course you want to pussy out. All this was your idea I suppose.’ He motioned to Rosie’s new look,  
‘I think that was all her idea and why shouldn’t she dress and look how she wants. It makes her happy.’ He argued, ‘I think she looks nice.’ He added seeing Rosie shake her head trying to warn him,  
‘Well la de da I don’t give a shit what you think and I would appreciate it if you stopped flirting with my fiancée and kept your hands to yourself!’ he hissed. Ben held up his hands,  
‘You may not know me very well but I am not acting any differently with Rosie now than I have ever done. It is her that has changed to try and please you and I think she has decided that if you aren’t going to love the person she really is then you don’t love her at all.’ He said. The next thing he knew he was sailing back through the air his left cheek burning, warm sanguineous liquid spilling down his face. He hit the floor moments later his hand flying to his cheek barely getting his hand up in defence as Sam was on top of him another punch landing in his side clipping his ribcage,   
‘Stop it! Stop!’ Rosie screamed trying to pull Sam from Ben’s body as the guys rushed to help, he went to move her away slapping her across the cheek making him immediately turn,  
‘Christ Rose I’m sorry.’ He said as she got up tears pricking her eyes, ‘come on let’s just go home I have to leave at five. I couldn’t stand watching him touch you.’   
‘You fucking bastard. I hate you! I hate you! Leave me alone!’ she shouted walking away. Ewan pulled Ben up as Zach rounded on Sam,  
‘I think you need to go home.’ He said bundling him to the door of the club as the security team came over,  
‘You need to leave.’ The bald headed man said,  
‘I’m going I’m going.’ He said stalking to the door; Ben wiped the blood from his cheek with his hand ruining his white shirt,  
‘Now are you lot gonna behave. If not you will be out too.’ He said looking at the group.  
‘Don’t worry we won’t be any trouble.’ Ewan said seeing the man slowly retreat as they took Ben back to the booth sitting him down.  
‘What a dick.’ Ben said,  
‘Well you were flirting with his woman…’ Jenny said,  
‘Well thanks for defending me.’ Ben snapped before running his hand through his hair, ‘sorry I’m not angry at you. This has been a shit date hasn’t it.’ He sighed,  
‘Well you could have at least landed a punch back.’ She mocked,  
‘I don’t believe in settling violence with violence.’ He replied in a clipped tone reminding her not to push him.   
‘Look I think I will head home, I have an early shift tomorrow.’ She said,  
‘I will take you.’ Ben said going to stand up,  
‘No no honestly look I will get a cab and I will message you when I’m home ok. Dinner was nice and your friends are entertaining to say the least.’ She said kissing his good cheek, ‘take care.’ She said her interest waning by the second.   
‘At least let me shout you the fare.’ He said escorting her to the door and giving her the fare. ‘You aren’t going to call me are you?’ he asked seeing her look up at him, ‘I’m a big boy I can take it.’   
‘I just don’t think you are my type…I think we both know who is.’ She said kissing his lips quickly seeing him nod,  
‘Sorry to have fucked you about.’ She shrugged,  
‘I always land on my feet don’t worry about me.’ She said walking away not giving him a second thought as she made her way onto the pavement looking around for a cab. She smiled a little as she saw Sam kicking the dirt on the pavement a few meters away and she walked towards him, ‘you want to share a cab?’ she asked seeing him turn round,  
‘I thought you would be in there tending to your boyfriend.’ He said looking down as she touched his shoulder before finding her eyes,  
‘He isn’t my boyfriend. Don’t get me wrong he was a bit of fun but I know when I am playing second fiddle and I like to be the centre of attention.’ She said,  
‘And you deserve to be.’ He said smiling, ‘you’re a knockout.’ He added seeing her grin moving in closer,  
‘What’s say we have a little drink and I can finally get to know you a little better.’ She ran her hand along his chest. ‘I don’t want to drink his money alone.’ She added holding up Ben’s cash,  
‘Well in that case how can I say no.’ he said hailing a cab and letting her climb in before settling in next to her, ‘where did you have in mind?’ he said,  
‘Sit back, relax and I will show you what LA has to offer.’ She said taking the lead.

Rosie dabbed a cold compress to her cheek feeling it swell a little, after a few minutes she tossed it away covering up the worst with some make-up and drying her eyes making her way back out seeing Ben about to enter the gents and she pulled him aside,  
‘Here let me fix that up.’ She said feeling him move with her into the cubicle on its own closing the door. She indicated for him to sit down on the toilet hearing the lid close and his bum sit down on it. Rosie moistened some tissue and turned dabbing his face washing the blood away, ‘I’m sorry about the shirt…and about Sam…’  
‘You need to stop apologising for him.’ He said wrinkling his nose as she dabbed his cheek,  
‘It’s not as bad as I thought; the make-up guys should be able to sort it tomorrow.’ She said wiping the blood from his neck before drying it tossing the towels away before dabbing at the cut trying to get the bleeding to stop. Ben ran his hand up the outside of her thigh pulling her down into his lap before tangling his fingers in her hair bringing her head to hers, ‘Ben.’ She whispered her hands moving to his shoulders cupping his neck the other hand pressing on his chest as he kissed the base of her neck.   
‘Leave him.’ He said kissing her cheek feeling her lips press against his her body moving towards his,  
‘I can’t…I have nowhere to live.’ She said, ‘he has done nothing to deserve it.’ She said as Ben moved her face to look at her, just as he went to kiss her someone banged on the door,  
‘Alright!’ she shouted, ‘one minute.’ Reluctantly she got off of Ben’s lap,  
‘Do you want to go home?’ he asked,  
‘You know what I want to stay and have a drink and forget about the evening.’ She said, ‘but your shirt.’ She added,   
‘Zach lent me his shirt.’ He said quickly unbuttoning his seeing her eyes watching him, ‘subtle.’ He added making her blush again,  
‘Stop it seriously that’s one hell of a Cumberchest!’ she said making him laugh,  
‘God we aren’t going back to the universal Cumberprefix are we?’ he said,  
‘I don’t Cumbersee why Cumbernot.’ She giggled collecting her things and opening the door ignoring the stares,   
‘Well I tell you what I will Cumbersleep on the Cumbersofa tonight.’   
‘You don’t have to.’  
‘I don’t want you sharing a bed with him when he is in that kind of mood.’ He said as they rejoined the group,  
‘Do you guys wanna go?’ Ewan asked,  
‘I’m not letting him ruin my night and I think it’s my round.’ She said seeing Ben give her an encouraging smile as she left for the bar.   
‘I said be charming and flirtatious I didn’t say get your head kicked in.’ Ewan teased seeing Ben smile,  
‘Either way it half worked.’ Ben winked saying no more as Rosie returned. 

***

Rosie tiptoed to her room looking inside seeing Sam’s bag gone and a note that read,  
“I have left early didn’t think you would want to see me tonight. I am really sorry and we will work things out when I get back I promise. Love Sam xxx.”  
She screwed up the paper tossing it in the bin,  
‘Hey is he still not back?’ Ben asked from the door a pillow in his hand,  
‘No he has come and left so you can keep the bed.’ She said quietly. Ben flicked his eyes to her lips and Rosie wished he would toss the pillow aside stride across the room and kiss her taking her to bed with him but he nodded stiffly before wishing her goodnight and retreating to his room. Ben lay awake listening to Ewan’s snoring and the sound of muffled crying before he finally drifted into a fitful sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

The weekend came around uneventfully with no arguments and things were finally getting back to normal, Ben had been snowed under with work, Ewan had been busy filming and Rosie had finished her article and was now idly twiddling her thumbs waiting for Ben to come home. On cue the door opened and Ben wandered in dumping all of his things in the hallway and giving her a small hug,  
‘Do we have to do this?’ he groaned seeing her smile,  
‘What go shopping yes we do.’ She replied, ‘I cannot look at the same five items of clothing rotated any longer and well your rich now you should spend some of it.’ She added,  
‘You mean I can’t do the sensible thing and squirrel it away for my children’s future?’ he asked seeing her shake her head,  
‘Look I’m gonna level with you, despite redoing your house and renting this, flying between London and the UK and saving for your kids I think you can afford to spend some money on some new clothes…I saw your badly hidden left in the middle of the table completely open bank statement. You could afford half of Brazil. Stop moaning and let’s go.’ She said seeing him hold his hands up in defeat.   
‘Fine ok you super sleuth, no pink, no frills, no lace.’ He winked making her giggle as she linked her arm into his. Rosie tried to suppress a smile as she dropped into the driver’s seat, ‘Christ are you imagining me in pink lacy underwear?’ he said seeing her smile widen as she burst into laughter, ‘stop it, stop thinking about that…’ he said placing his hands on the side of her head,  
‘I can’t Jesus I can’t.’ she laughed, ‘it’s a disturbingly good image.’ She said feeling his hand slap the side of her thigh.  
‘Rosalind think about something else…bunnies, kittens, Brad Pitt.’ He said seeing her eyes open tears streaking her cheeks,  
‘Ok ok fine…hmm Brad in pink frilly pants.’ She said pretending to be turned on before shaking her head and wiping the mascara lines from her cheeks before starting the car.   
‘I’m concerned you find the thought of men in pink frilly pants exciting.’ His low voice grumbled as his blue eyes scrutinised her seeing the corner of her mouth turn up,  
‘You know me…totally crazy kinky, much better than that 50 shades of tame.’ She said winking at him seeing him laugh.   
‘If that’s true it’s a little terrifying.’ He replied,  
‘Just remember to bend over with caution next to me…especially if I have a riding crop in my hand…oh no wait you are the one that likes to start with the riding crop.’ Benedict rolled his eyes,  
‘I really regret getting you that in to Sherlock.’ He said as she pulled into the parking area of the large mall. Rosie slipped her arm back into the crook of his elbow as they walked inside. ‘So do you have any plans for tonight?’ he asked,  
‘Not really. You?’ she said,   
‘I didn’t know if Sam was back tonight…’ he reminded her,   
‘Fuck! You’re right he is.’ She said checking the date cursing herself for not remembering. He hadn’t been in touch after they had decided to give each other some breathing room to see if they could reach a resolution but now she wondered whether she wanted to reach a resolution the past few days she had felt so free.   
‘Do you want him to be back?’ he asked causing her to shrug,  
‘I don’t know anymore. I made the commitment to him and deep down I love him and have loved him for almost three years. We have moved in together…I don’t know it is so complicated but I don’t know if he can accept me the way I want to be and I don’t know if I can be with him if he doesn’t like me as me.’ She said sighing Ben stopped her walking and pulled her into a hug.   
‘I just think you should be selfish enough to do whatever it takes to make you happy in life because when you’re old and grey and look back you don’t want to think…why did I waste my life being miserable with that prick.’ He said, ‘even if you become a call girl and spend the rest of your life having casual sex and living with cats.’   
‘Christ have I become that tragic?’ she laughed, ‘although casual sex could be fun.’ Ben smirked. 

***

Ben shook his head as Rosie snuck into the changing room,  
‘You aren’t supposed to be in here.’ He chided buttoning up another plaid shirt,  
‘Ooh I like that one…here try these.’ She said swinging a pink lacy thong in front of his face,  
‘Rose you’re fucking crazy.’ He whispered as she bent down picking up one foot and slipping them on before doing the same with the other pulling them up over his boxer-briefs and arranging them leaning back seeing him look up at her through his lashes raising an eyebrow before wiggling his finger,   
‘Ooh la la…’ she said finding her phone and pointing it at him seeing him trying to cover his modesty as she snapped the picture,  
‘I will kill you!’ he hissed lurching for her trying to grab her phone chasing her round the small box shaped room,  
‘Pose for the camera…’ she said snapping his crotch again. Moments later there was a hammering on the door,  
‘Excuse me sir we don’t allow more than one in a cubicle at any given time.’ The woman said trying to open the door,  
‘Shit get them off.’ Ben hissed as Rosie pushed the panties down off his legs barely standing up and turning round as the woman opened the door and Rosie tucked the panties in Ben’s back pocket of his jeans he had just managed to do up,  
‘Hello.’ Rosie said to fill the silence,  
‘Maam you can’t be in here.’ She said,  
‘Oh god I’m so sorry, we were just finishing up and I think we have made our decisions haven’t we darling?’ she said looking up at Ben,  
‘Yeah I would say so.’ He said picking up his coat and following her out of the changing room slipping it on as Rosie made her way to the checkout, ‘you know I am going to have to buy all of this now don’t you, and I think we will be banned for life.’  
‘Then next time remember the lady shouldn’t protest so much.’ She said noting the attendant watching them as they walked to the counter, ‘besides I wouldn’t have picked things you would look crap in so there wasn’t much point in you trying them on except for maybe the sizing.’ Ben handed over his credit card trying not to think too much about the total as he picked up the bags following her swiftly from the store and onto the next one. Rosie watched as Ben began to flag at the third store and she knew she had to take drastic action,  
‘Hey did you eat lunch on set?’ she looked at her watch seeing it was closer to dinner Ben shook his head, ‘how about we grab a bite, my shout.’ She added seeing his smile return,  
‘Now that sounds like a plan.’ He looked around, ‘something simple.’   
‘How about…’ Rosie rotated in a circle, ‘umm pretzels…? Uh ice cream…nope…umm ooh pizza?’ she suggested,  
‘God yes pizza.’ He followed her over as they queued up having a look at the selection grabbing two bottles of water at the same time, ‘hi can I have a slice of the margarita, the pepperoni and the chicken.’ He said turning to Rosie,  
‘Same for me.’ She said regretting skipping breakfast knowing she would ruin her appetite for later but she didn’t care. Ben grabbed the plates and found a free table as Rosie paid grabbing the water and some napkins finding her seat,  
‘Shit I am so hungry.’ He said scoffing down one slice before starting on the next as she ate hers at a sensible pace. She looked up seeing a blob of tomato sauce beginning to creep down his chin,  
‘Good god man take a breath.’ She said seeing his chewing stop for a moment before he swallowed decisively,   
‘Sorry.’ He apologised,  
‘Don’t worry thankfully I have seen you hoover up a meal before. Here you have sauce on your chin.’ She said reaching out and wiping it away   
‘Thanks.’ He replied finishing off his last slice,   
‘Here do you want another I can’t finish all three.’ She said sliding over the chicken seeing him smile, ‘how is the film going?’   
‘Not too bad almost finished my portion I think it’s going to be amazing I had a peek at the edits from location shooting and I think it is going to come together so well. Not bad for such a diverse and strong ensemble cast.’ He said,  
‘I can’t wait to see it; sounds like you are getting in to some pretty difficult roles.’ She said, ‘just don’t overbook yourself Benji I want a third season of my favourite detective.’   
‘Consulting detective.’ He corrected, ‘well after this I have some promo to do for Star Trek, ‘I have got to come back to London over Christmas to do another season of cabin pressure. Then there is the fifth estate, then Sherlock hopefully in about February.’  
‘Shit that’s busy and then?’ she asked,  
‘Then you want me to do more?’ he teased, ‘ah well then I might get a week off maybe go on holiday…ah who am I kidding more likely to be more work.’ He sighed,  
‘You know you can take a break don’t you, you don’t have to work yourself like a dog.’ Rosie tried to reason,  
‘I know I mean I haven’t lined up any more auditions the Monty Python project is well into next year so I’m sure there will be a project to fill the middle and if there’s not then I can have a rest. It has taken so long to get here I just want to keep riding the wave until it breaks.’ He said,  
‘And so you should.’ She replied wiping her mouth, ‘I know everyone is just so happy and proud that you are being discovered and recognised, it’s about bloody time.’   
‘Well thanks it means a lot, its just sometimes it can get a little bit overwhelming.’ He said, ‘this fame thing. I have been an actor since I was a teenager but I have been famous for about a minute. I am so used to walking down the street and having people ignore me and now everyone wants a picture or an autograph. I try to be gracious about it but sometimes having an i-Pad shoved in your face at 1am gets irksome, I know that fans just want to show support but no one at drama school tells you what to do about the paps and all of that crap.’ He ran a hand through his hair feeling Rosie laid hers on top of it before cupping his face looking at him with sympathy,  
‘It will get easier.’ She said, ‘you will learn how to handle it all and take it in your stride.’ She said,  
‘God I hope so because it doesn’t seem to be getting easier.’  
‘Look you are grounded you have a good set of friends and family don’t worry we won’t let it get too overwhelming.’ She said seeing Ben nod feeling her hand slip away from his face as she gathered her things, ‘now stop moping we have more shopping to do.’ She said leading him back out into the throng of shoppers. 

***

Ben flopped down on the sofa letting his bags splay out around him,  
‘You owe me dinner as well.’ He said seeing her smile,   
‘Why don’t I get started and you go put those away.’ She said pulling him up and sending him on his way upstairs padding into the kitchen, ‘Sam you’re back.’ She said seeing him reading the newspaper his brown eyes looked up to meet her and she was immediately worried by the calmness in his eyes something she hadn’t seen for a few months.  
‘Indeed I am, you two been out shopping?’ he said getting up and flicking the kettle on,   
‘Yeah I was fed up of seeing him in the same thing over and over. You alright? How was work?’ she said as he waved the tea at her making her nod as he made three cups.   
‘It’s going well, we have almost finished the project and then it will be time for some editing.’ He said, ‘I heard on the grapevine that you had some big projects coming up next week…interviewing the governor.’ He said making her stomach flip, as she turned slowly to face him,  
‘I would have told you.’ She began defensively as Sam hugged her,  
‘Rose that’s brilliant I am so proud of you, it’s all coming together. I am so sorry I have been such a dick you didn’t think you could tell me.’ He said moving the hair from her face.  
‘You are different…good different.’ She mentioned feeling his lips move to meet hers in a brief kiss taking her by surprise, ‘where did this come from?’  
‘You know what these past few days I missed you. Missed talking to you, sharing things with you. Christ I missed hearing your voice.’ He said, ‘and I realised what a twat I have been and that I had to change because I knew you were slipping away from me…I think I knew you were going and I was hurt so I pushed you when I should have tried to pull you in.’ he said honestly.  
‘You punched my best friend in the middle of a club and then walked away…’ she reminded him seeing him wince,  
‘Yes I know and trust me I feel shit about that. I need to apologise.’ Sam said his mind flashing back to that night, ‘I was really drunk and you were getting close to him and opening up to him drifting away from me, I was jealous.’ He rubbed his chin shrugging,   
‘Do you hate me?’ he asked,  
‘I don’t hate you Sam…I was disappointed.’   
‘Fuck well that’s worse.’ He sighed seeing Ben walk into the kitchen pausing for a moment the cut on his cheek still evident the bruising beginning to settle. Ben crossed his arms watching the scenario unfold,  
‘Everything alright Rose?’ she nodded   
‘Ben I wanted to apologise.’ Sam put the tea down within his reach extending his hand, ‘I’m sorry I was jealous of how easy Rosie finds being around you and we were having problems but I realised how much I miss her and I want to make it work, I hope you can forgive me and we can move on.’ He said. Ben looked down at his hand really wanting to tell him to go fuck himself but took a breath and suppressed the desire taking his hand,  
‘I am watching you.’ He said ignoring the tea and turning away,  
‘Dinner in an hour.’ Rosie called seeing him pause for a moment before leaving the room.  
‘Well that’s better than I hoped for.’ He said, ‘do you need a hand babe?’ he asked,  
‘Umm Christ I don’t actually know what I can make let’s have a look.’ She said opening the fridge, ‘god we can’t have pasta again, could you do me a favour and run down to the market and grab some seafood.’ She said opening the cupboards and pulling out some ingredients finding the bit of chorizo and leftover chicken in the fridge, ‘and I will put together some semblance of paella.’ She said,  
‘No problemo.’ He said kissing her cheek and picking up his keys making his way out the door, she set about making some rustic bread and turning on the oven before beginning to chop up everything and starting to fry it down. Sam returned laden down twenty minutes later,  
‘God that was fast.’ She said looking at the time and checking to see if her bread was rising, ‘could you give it a quick wash.’ She added seeing him already at the sink sleeves rolled up washing away. She set the paella in the oven to bake as she made some quick salad from what was left in the fridge placing it on the table finding some wine and putting it down with a corkscrew as Sam laid the table and placed down some water,  
‘Shall I give Ben a shout?’ he asked as she took the bread out of the oven adding the seafood to the paella popping it in for the last few minutes seeing Ben wandering into the kitchen looking like a petulant child. Rosie frowned at him a little before turning her attentions back to the cooking feeling Ben reach past her grabbing a tall glass and whispering,  
‘Well he’s put his mask back on.’  
‘Be civil.’ She hissed, ‘or you can kiss dinner goodbye…just try Ben for me.’ She looked up at him with her soft hazel eyes  
‘Yesterday you were going to leave him and now he is back fluttering his eyelashes.’ He sulked,  
‘I will not tell you again to grow up.’ She warned turning round taking the paella to the table seeing Ben follow her taking his seat,  
‘So Sam how much more filming do you have to do?’ Ben asked eating a small amount seeing Rosie put some salad and bread on his plate narrowing her eyes as he went to protest nibbling away   
‘Oh only one more session and then it will be down to editing and writing up the article that goes with it. Then I might actually get to spend some time wedding planning.’ He looked at Rosie stroking the back of her hand; Ben’s jaw tensed,  
‘Excellent.’ He replied trying to sound civil before returning the room to silence. ‘You know what I might leave you two to catch up I have a lot of lines to learn, thanks for dinner but that pizza filled me up.’ He said having finished the small amount on his plate leaving the bread and salad. Rosie knew that Ben was unhappy but as she looked across at Sam she felt her stomach fall, her mind flicked to Ben’s kiss and she wondered whether to tell him before pausing her mouth open before shaking her head, it’s over, she told herself, just a silly little crush because Sam was being mean. With that she resumed her conversation with Sam as if nothing had ever happened trying to ignore her feeling of doubt that threatened to burst the bubble. 

***

Sam rolled onto his side watching as Rosie finished her chapter,  
‘You look beautiful.’ He said, ‘like the woman I fell in love with.’ He added seeing her smile pulling off her reading glasses,  
‘You didn’t seem to keen the other day.’  
‘It was a bit of a shock and I realised how much I had tried to make you change how much I had put you down.’ He said running his fingers up her leg,   
‘Every time I tried to tell you, you made me feel like I was being stupid that I was ugly.’ She said playing with her fingers,  
‘Christ I never wanted to…I never…you are so beautiful and I fell in love with you because you were different.’ He said taking her hands, ‘are you honestly happy?’ he asked, Rosie thought for a moment   
‘I am…I am…when I met you if I am being honest I didn’t think you were my type, and then you surprised me. I thought you were a jack the lad Essex boy who wanted fake boobs and fake everything, that wanted someone who looked good not had a mind of her own. The first year was great honestly great it was going well and I could ignore the sarcastic quips and then you started to grind me down. But I love you and I thought you were stressed about the job so I weathered the storm thought when we move in together things would get better but they didn’t you just got worse the busier you got. I was going to end it…’ she said pausing, ‘that’s why I organised this trip…’ Sam just watched her, ‘and then you asked me to marry you.’  
‘Why did you say yes if you didn’t love me?’ he asked trying to make sense of everything his own guilt eating away at him,  
‘I do love you, I love you so much and that’s what’s killing me because I know you love me too…I don’t know maybe we love each other too much and we are destroying each other.’  
‘I don’t understand. Do you want to marry me or not?’ he asked,  
‘Christ I don’t know honestly. I mean I love you so much but things have to change, we can’t go on the way we are shouting at each other, not supporting one another and trying to undermine each other I can’t do it.’ She said,  
‘We were fine before we came here.’ He tried,  
‘Oh Sam we haven’t been fine for a few months, I know you being jealous of my friendship with Ben hasn’t helped but stop lying to yourself.’ Sam thought for a moment,  
‘You’re right. I don’t want to have to compete for your love.’ He said,  
‘You don’t have to. Look Ben is my best friend in the entire world, I love him…’ she hesitated, ‘but not in the way I love you.’   
‘Ok.’  
‘You have to accept that, and you have to stop putting me down or I am leaving.’ She said,  
‘Ok.’   
‘Is there anything I am doing wrong…anything?’ she asked and Sam looked at her,  
‘You have never done anything wrong and you are right I need to be nicer to you…but Rosie you need to stand up to me more.’ He said,  
‘Deal.’ She replied feeling him kiss her forehead,  
‘I think we should get some sleep.’ And she nodded her agreement switching off the light lying down closing her eyes, she lay there mulling things over as Sam slept next to her and wondered if she had made the right choice.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it has been a very long time since I updated this and I apologise life has been annoying and getting in the way and then when I had some time I got total writer's block and changed the direction of this chapter three times. Hopefully you will all enjoy it, sorry for the wait...

Rosie woke up as the curtains opened a little blinking as her eyes adjusted to the light; Sam placed a tray down beside her on the bed,  
‘I made you some breakfast in bed to say I’m sorry.’ He climbed in bedside her stealing a slice of toast. ‘I thought that if you wanted I could help you rehearse for the interview and you could maybe look through some of the footage from the shoot and see what you think would work.’ Rosie ate some scrambled egg,  
‘Sure that would be great; it would be nice to spend some time with you on this holiday.’ She said smiling, ‘when do you have to go back?’ she asked,  
‘Tonight and then I should be back on Sunday. Aren’t you going to this charity thing with Ben?’ he asked,  
‘Oh shit I am, god I need to find a dress for that thanks for reminding me the days just go so fast.’ Rosie scoffed down her breakfast feeling ravenous seeing Sam bite his tongue, ‘you can say it but be warned I am still going to eat whatever the hell I want you know.’ She said sticking her tongue out taking another half a slice of toast and slathering it with marmalade making him smile a little bit wondering how long he would be able to keep silent. She kissed him softly feeling Sam pull her in but she broke away giggling,   
‘Come on babe.’ He whined,  
‘I have got a lot to do and it’s already ten.’ She scooted out of his grasp and made it to the bathroom switching the shower on and quickly brushing her teeth before making her way into the hot stream of water. A few minutes later she felt the door open and Sam sneak in behind her his hands moving round her waist making her stiffen a little before she forced herself to relax. Sam kissed her gently between her shoulder blades moving his kisses to her neck; Rosie tried to force her mind to relax a little but it couldn’t let go of what it had discovered in the past few weeks and her thoughts were mixed and troubled as Sam moved her hands bracing them to the wall. All that she could see in her mind was a different person, his gentility and softness when he had kissed her, his urgency as his hands had moved across her body and her lips almost uttered the wrong name as her body flew through the air.   
‘You’re so hot.’ Sam whispered in her ear as he pulled away his hands leaving her body as he stepped out of the shower,  
‘Mmm.’ Was all she stammered in response as she opened her eyes seeing the tiled wall in front of her, her body satisfied and her mind even more in turmoil. Shaking away the feelings she finished up her shower blasting it to cold for a moment in order to wake her from her trance before wrapping herself in a towel and creeping into the bedroom to see Sam had gone leaving the breakfast tray behind his laptop removed from his bedside table. Rosie frowned knowing he would probably have no intention of helping her research her interview with the governors but knowing full well that she would still have to help him edit his most recent film. Sighing she pulled on some underwear and a pair of black denim shorts hunting around and finding a clean navy and white striped vest pulling it over her red bra frowning as she looked in the mirror knowing you could see the bright colour through the top.   
‘Sod it.’ She said picking up her pile of laundry and stuffing it into a hold all and hefting it downstairs making her way into the kitchen and looking around seeing no sign of a machine. 

She dropped it in the middle of the floor running her fingers through her damp hair seeing it beginning to frizz a little already before opening a few cupboards she hadn’t looked in to see if it was hidden.  
‘Looking for the family silver?’ Ben said making her stand up clouting her head on the work surface,   
‘Fuck!’ she swore rubbing it seeing Ben pull a face,  
‘Sorry.’ He replied seeing her look at him for a moment her eyes clearly zeroing in on the bruise on his cheek now covered in three layers of make-up, ‘Liz is a dab hand at covering things like this.’ He said waving his hand dismissively.   
‘How long have you been out filming?’ she asked,  
‘Well we started at 4.30 and just finished my scenes this morning so I am awake but knackered it sucks. Now what were you hunting for?’ he asked flicking on the kettle,  
‘I was trying to find the washing machine.’ She replied trying not to stare at him, trying not to think about what she had fantasised about that morning. His long fingers that were dancing over the containers and cups making coffee that she had imagined digging in to her hips; his lips that he was rubbing sliding down her back and neck. ‘Woman you look fucked, what is wrong with you, hello!’ Ben said waving his hand in front of her face,  
‘Fucked…yes well…no…bang on the head…washing?’ she said seeing him look at her like she was crazy opening his mouth before closing it again and holding out his arm,  
‘It’s in the garage, only place they would fit.’ He said holding the door open as she heaved her bag through, ‘how much are you doing?’ he asked,  
‘Oh just mine.’ She added opening the washer and throwing all the dark colours in setting the lights aside which constituted mostly underwear. She looked around for the powder seeing him slide it across to her before bending down picking up a small triangular piece of silk and lace,  
‘You missed these.’ He held up the deep purple fabric watching her mischievously. Rosie snatched them from him blushing as she turned and tossed them in slamming the lid and pressing the start button before turning back to see Ben had moved closer his piercing eyes watching her intently,   
‘Thanks for showing me I think I can handle it from now on so you can leave my smalls alone.’ She said her heart rate beginning to climb as he stood ever closer to her,  
‘I heard you and Sam talking last night…’ he said taking her aback, ‘have you two waved your white flags and made up?’ he asked licking his lip. Rosie went to speak but closed her mouth again trying not to let him see her cry but he had already seen it and his arms had moved round her shoulders pulling her to his chest. Benedict stroked her hair soothingly as he cradled her body forcing her to nestle her chin in his neck and her hands on his back,  
‘I told him how I felt in the past few months, how he made me feel…and he apologised and he seemed genuine…’ she said muffled into Ben’s chest which wasn’t helping given the fact every time she took a breath in he smelt amazing, ‘I told him we couldn’t go on the way we have if we want it to work and he agreed to try.’ Ben moved back,   
‘And…’   
‘He agreed to that so I owe him given…’ she trailed off,  
‘Given what?’ Ben ran his fingers down her arms finding her hands and holding them making her swallow deeply,  
‘I told him the reason I booked this trip was because I was going to end it with him but then he asked me to marry him and it changed my mind.’ Ben just stayed silent, ‘he asked me if I still wanted to marry him…if I still loved him.’   
‘What did you say?’ Ben asked his voice shaky,  
‘I told him I loved him and I wanted to marry him if he could honestly change…but…’  
‘But?’ Ben breathed,  
‘But I lied because, because I don’t think I love him, well not entirely, I think I am falling in love with someone else.’ She said, ‘or at least realising I’m in love with someone else.’ She barely whispered not meeting his eyes,  
‘Who?’ Benedict asked his voice thick and gravelly as he pressed against her trying to see her eyes before giving up and moving up her chin his hand cupping her cheek,   
‘You know who.’  
‘I need you to say it.’ He pleaded pinning her to the washing machine feeling her legs beginning to give way her heart now leaping out of her chest into his,  
‘Ben I think I am in love with you, which is stupid I know because I have known you for ages and I never looked at you like that. Or at least I didn’t think I did and I don’t know maybe I have liked you for ages. I mean I have always loved you, as a friend…god I am screwing this up. Don’t think I have changed my mind because you have this…’ she waved her hands at his chest and abs seeing him smile, ‘or those…’ she pointed at his biceps, ‘although they are nice…very nice…’ she paused for a moment before looking up at his smirk and his smiling eyes, ‘no I’m getting distracted.’  
‘Shall I just kiss you now?’ he asked seeing her look up suddenly biting her lip her eyes widening.   
‘Kiss me?’ she asked almost as a question and it made him smile more at her nervousness, ‘I mean if you want to.’ She said feeling his hand slip up her back as he moved his body in tilting her to the side his eyes flicking down to her lips and she felt a giggle bubble up inside her as he made the move she had seen a million times. It escaped from her lips in a quick burst,  
‘I’m sorry god I have seen you make this move so many times it tickled me.’ She said, ‘sorry no no right I’m concentrating now honestly.’ She said motioning with her hand for him to carry on,  
‘No moment’s gone.’ He said pretending to be hurt turning away feeling her grab his arm swinging him back in her hand moving to his neck the other pressing flat against his stomach as he looked her up and down quickly wetting his lips. Benedict lent in until his nose hit hers,  
‘Rosie! Where are you?!’ Sam hollered from the hallway making her move away,  
‘Yeah.’ She said her voice failing her as she felt Ben pull her into his body her lips attacking her neck, ‘yes.’ She moaned reaching up finding his hair tugging it gently trying to make him stop but instead it spurred him on pushing his hips into her bottom, ‘no wait.’ She whispered,   
‘I don’t want to wait, I want you.’ He growled into her ear other parts of him making it more evident of how much he wanted her.  
‘Rose where are you babe?’ Sam’s voice got louder. Ben’s hands drifted under her tank top slipping up her soft skin as Ben gripped her breast through her bra feeling it stiffen as he continued to kiss her neck,  
‘Just coming.’ She tried to say in a strangled shout. Ben chuckled in her ear, ‘stop it man do you want to get caught?’ she whispered,  
‘Yes…’ he replied simply making her giggle a little batting him away,   
‘Behave I can’t cheat on him.’  
‘Then break up with him.’ He tried as Sam came through the door,  
‘Christ there you are I have been looking for you everywhere.’ He said looking at Ben’s back as he turned to face the dryer, ‘what were you two doing?’ he said suspiciously,  
‘Ben was showing me where the washing machine was.’ She lied simply finding it far too easy. ‘What did you want me for?’ she asked walking towards him,   
‘Just wondered if you wanted to go through some footage?’ he asked, Rosie put on a fake smile,  
‘Yeah, yep of course give me one minute.’ She said seeing him smile and walk away; Rosie went to follow him before feeling herself being pulled back,  
‘So that’s it? You are going to go after him.’ Ben said, ‘after everything you just said you are going with him.’ He shouted,  
‘Be quiet Jesus Ben come on I am engaged to him.’ She said. Ben grabbed her hand,  
‘It means nothing, you don’t mean it.’ He said trying to pull off her ring,  
‘Ben! Benedict stop!’ she tried to pull her hand away, ‘stop you are hurting me.’ She finally got her hand free seeing the red mark on her finger, ‘fucking hell Ben you have to give me time I can’t just be with you I have things to sort out, there are ways to do this! He has another two weeks of work here. Just because I said those things doesn’t mean you win Ben…don’t turn into an asshole because I have one of those already.’ She said wiping her eyes and turning away,  
‘Rosie I’m sorry…I’m sorry.’ He said to her back as she walked away, he turned kicking the dryer immediately regretting it as his foot throbbed.

Rosie tapped her pen against her pad of paper sifting through her notes before ruffling her hair,  
‘What do you think of these captures? I think the coastline really pops out here.’ Sam said and Rosie glanced over to his laptop screen,  
‘Hmm, yeah they look better.’ She said quickly scanning her research and jotting down some more questions,  
‘You could be a bit more interested.’ Sam snapped,  
‘I am busy Sam I am trying to get these questions sorted. I have to submit them in two days.’ She replied,  
‘I have to get this film submitted tomorrow.’ He snapped back, Rosie rolled her eyes folding up her files,   
‘You know what I think we are both stressed and just need to get on with these things without distractions.’ She said packing her things into her bag and slinging it over her shoulder tucking her glasses into the front pocket before grabbing a spare set of keys. ‘I will be back later maybe we should go out to dinner.’ She said seeing him nod, ‘shall I book something?’ he didn’t reply so she shrugged and said to him, ‘fine Sam I will leave it to you, if you want to go somewhere then book.’ He waved at her as she made her way out of the door starting her short walk to the closest coffee shop. Rosie slipped inside walking to the counter and looking around seeing there was an extra two floors of seating, she didn’t feel hungry as the anxiety of getting her work done swirled round in her stomach and she picked some juice and ordered her coffee paying for them her mind evaluating lists of information and questions about current environmental policies, policies that should have been in place and their shortcomings and how she was going to ask about why they hadn’t been put into place. Smiling she collected her coffee and made her way up the stairs to the top of the building and finding a place at a table tucked in the corner with a view of the street below by a large window. Rosie opened her small laptop and spread out her papers in front of her jotting down some notes from the Alternative Fuel Vehicle Incentive Program before glancing up and out of the window spotting a familiar man pacing down the street looking as if he was on a mission the anger in his stance evident as Ben pushed past some slow moving people and banged his way inside; she almost got up and made her way downstairs but she stayed rooted to her seat, she knew why he was angry, she would be if someone she loved was blowing hot and cold at her. She had told him she loved him and then walked away…again…so using her common sense she gave him the space his body language was clearly giving off. 

Benedict was running late again but he really didn’t care, he only had five scenes left to shoot but he was down to doing one a day and they always ran behind; at least it meant he would be done in a few days and he could take the time off he desperately wanted and needed. Ben assumed by then Rosie would have made her decision once and for all, and if not he might just have to take matters into his own hands and force her hand one way or the other. The problem was having waited five years he didn’t know how patient he could be,  
‘Excuse me.’ He said as a person walked in front of him not moving, ‘excuse me please.’ He said again before rolling his eyes and shoving past the man blocking his way,  
‘Hey asshole!’ he shouted and Ben turned sticking up his middle finger before turning away again and pushing inside the coffee shop taking some deep breaths trying to calm himself down. He tried to run through his lines in his head as he picked up some vitamin water and ordered himself a cup of coffee taking out his phone he slipped his headphones in finding a playlist of slightly angry indie music collecting his drink and shoving the earphones in making his way back outside slamming the door a little to hard behind him pulling his leather jacket closer around his body and pulling on his black Ray Ban sunglasses. Something made him stop turning and looking back at the coffee shop feeling he was being watched, his eyes glanced into the shop window before running up the outside of the building. Rosie who had seen him reappear listening to his i-Pod moved to the window watching him zip up his jacket and then pause turning around and looking up the building moving back quickly so he couldn’t see her. Ben moved his eyes to the blonde behind the counter who smiled at him nodding down at the cup in his hand and he looked down at it seeing her number written on the coffee sleeve with the words “call me blue eyes, May ;-)”. Smiling he looked up winking at her before slipping his sunglasses back up his nose and walking away whipping out his phone and sending her a quick message,   
‘I’m free tonight, meet me at The Edison downtown at nine? Ben.’ He sent the text trying not to regret it; he knew he would only use her for one reason but hell if he couldn’t have the woman he wanted why not have one who wanted him. He placed his phone in his pocket and made his way to the studios making it only thirty minutes late,  
‘Morning Ben not too bad for you.’ Helen said checking her watch smiling at him seeing him barely smile back, ‘straight into make up and then we can get you on set, I have sorted out your suit to be cleaned for Saturday and it should be ready tomorrow.’ She added barely looking up from her i-Pad.   
‘Ok.’ Ben mumbled climbing into the trailer hearing her follow her,   
‘You might need to chat to a few press or something and you will probably have to have your picture taken.’ She added hearing him sigh and choosing to ignore it, ‘I assume Rosie is sorting her own dress.’ She asked making Ben look up noting it was the one thing that got his attention,  
‘Presume so.’ He said shortly and looked back down at his phone,  
‘See you at nine; I like a man who takes control ;-) May.’ His phone was reading and he smiled to himself a little mentally thanking his personal trainer for his new physique.   
‘You have some interviews set up on Sunday so don’t get too drunk I will come and pick you up at nine thirty am but I will call you first and I have put a reminder on your phone.’ She said hearing him grunt. ‘You are due to finish filming Tuesday and then you have three weeks until you have to fly back to London where Emily will take over again.’ He mumbled in agreement,   
‘Look can we do this later.’ He said seeing her roll her eyes,  
‘Yes fine I will get some coffee and give you twenty minutes to get over your PMS.’ She said standing up ignoring the look he flashed her. 

***

Rosie put down the phone smiling to herself as her editor signed off on the finalised version of her questions and she glanced at the time seeing it was past six in the evening and her stomach growled at her. She knew she couldn’t survive on cake and biscuits anymore and pulled herself up from the chair gathering all her things seeing the waitress on the other side of the room and smiled at her,  
‘You done for the day, we were taking bets on when you would be finished.’ She joked; Rosie smiled at the blonde,  
‘God I know I am so sorry, if I was in the way you should have kicked me out.’ She apologised,   
‘No no hey it’s cool lots of people come here to work, writers and such we like to think its friendly enough for people to want to.’ She said,  
‘The coffee is the best in the area although maybe you need to do some sandwiches or something I am so high on sugar right now.’ The woman laughed as she piled more plates into a bowl.  
‘I will pass the suggestion along. So are you a writer?’  
‘Yes and no, I am a journalist. Got a pretty big interview coming up for The Times and because I’m freelance this one is the career maker, I really want them to employ me full time, so I had to do a good job. I was freaking out a little and my boyfriend wouldn’t stop hassling me so I made a break for it and came here.’  
‘Wow that’s cool hope I goes well, and men are such a pain in the ass right. I’m in college at the moment and I just don’t have time for the boyfriend shit you know. I’m more of a use them and lose them kind of woman…just for now.’ She added trying not to sound too slutty,  
‘Do you know what if, well when to be honest, I was five years younger that was pretty much what I did as well. The problem I found was everyone thinks you’re a whore…I mean why for enjoying sex, for not wanting the emotional bullshit that comes with it. Christ it was much simpler just knowing what or who you wanted and going for it and then walking away.’  
‘Sounds like you miss it.’ She said seeing Rosie smile,  
‘Yeah but it has to be said there is something about falling in love with the right guy at the end.’ She countered,  
‘Clearly.’ The blonde smiled at her ring, Rosie looked down frowning for a moment, ‘hope you have some plans to celebrate tonight.’ She filled the silence wiping her last table.  
‘You know what I will probably just crash, the useless boy here is supposed to book a table for dinner but I doubt he will have remembered so it might be takeout and wine night.’ Rosie jammed the last of the things in her bag, ‘what about you? When do you finish?’   
‘In fifteen minutes.’ She checked her watch, ‘I’m off out for a drink. I have to say I hate the hours but working here is the best way to pick up guys…just write your number on their cup if they call they call if they don’t they don’t.’ she said and Rosie grinned,  
‘What if they are psychos?’ she asked raising her eyebrows,  
‘Oh that’s easy, always meet somewhere public, always have a friend call you an hour in and always know your way home. I mean I escape pretty quickly when they get weird.’  
‘Fair enough I just used to get my friend to run them through the police database.’ The woman laughed,  
‘Well blue eyes doesn’t seem crazy, I have seen him come in a few times, chatted to him most days but he was a little off today so I thought now is my chance. He looked like he needed to blow off some steam so a night out was just what he needed.’   
‘Fingers crossed for you he is good in the sack. Right I better be off enjoy your evening.’ Rosie said,  
‘You too umm…’ she waited for a name,  
‘Rosie.’   
‘I’m May nice to meet you; I’ll remember your order for next time. Good night.’ She smiled,  
‘Bye.’ Rosie replied bounding down the stairs.

Rosie crept through the front door wondering if Sam was still around and whether he knew what the time was but it was evident there was someone banging around in the kitchen so she made her way through.  
‘Ah ha there you are. Did you get my message?’ Sam asked wiping his hands on his apron and pouring her some wine and handing her the glass.  
‘Shit my phone died about an hour ago.’ She said taking it out and finding a spare charger plugging it in. ‘What did it say?’   
‘That I was going to make you dinner and what time did you think you would be home?’ he said turning to stir the pan that was beginning to burn. ‘And I didn’t get a response so I thought I would go for seven thirty.’   
‘Fair enough. What you making?’ she asked downing some water trying to get rid of some of the sugary taste from her mouth,  
‘I am attempting the rather specialist dish of fish in tomato and thyme sauce.’ He said. Rosie knew it was one of the three things he could cook well, and in his favour it did taste delicious.  
‘Ooh nice.’ She said kissing his shoulder blade before moving some dishes to the sink and running the water, ‘I’ll do these.’ She said as he put the vegetables on adding the fish to the pan to poach, ‘has Ben been home?’ she asked,  
‘No not that I noticed.’ He said stirring away, ‘why?’   
‘He was a bit pissed off at me this morning and I wanted to apologise.’   
‘What did you do?’  
‘I have no idea.’ She lied,  
‘Then why do you need to apologise if you didn’t do anything wrong?’ Rosie shrugged,   
‘I guess but I hate him being angry with me.’  
‘You’re a pacifist you hate anyone being angry with you.’ He countered,  
‘You make a good point.’ She dried her hands before going about setting the table wondering how long they were going to dance around the subject of this morning. ‘So I finished my article and the questions for the interview. Jonathon signed off on the questions for the interview and he told me someone from BBC America wants to film it if the governors will sign off on it.’ She said, ‘don’t know how I feel about being on camera.’   
‘You will be fine, best thing to do is just relax and be yourself and keep them talking.’ He said putting the food onto the plates and carrying it to the table placing it down. ‘At least when you’re done you can enjoy the holiday a bit more, you seem like work has been stressing you out too much lately.’ Rosie felt like telling him work was fine it was him that was stressing her out but she knew it would be counterproductive. In fact for the first time she felt on top of her work and completely prepared for the interview; she was looking forward to being taken seriously and perhaps getting her dream job out of it at the end.   
‘How did the editing go? Did you finish?’ she asked beginning to eat feeling ravenous.   
‘Just about, I have put together the first two episodes roughly and sent them off to the company with the voice over script to see if they like the idea and if they do they can get on with it and I can record the voice over later on.’ He said, ‘so we have two episodes left to film and then I’m done.’  
‘I didn’t know it was so intense.’  
‘Well I have never had to be in front of the camera to this extent but it should be good and if BBC Four like it they might pick it up and show it there as well.’  
‘Is Nat Geo going to like that?’ she asked, Sam shrugged,  
‘If they buy the rights then why not.’ Rosie nodded in agreement letting the natural silence fall.

***

Ben glanced at his watch as he made his way into the bar seeing he was on time for almost the first time in three years,  
‘Yes!’ he said to himself as he settled at the bar five minutes early taking out his phone and writing a quick text, “for once I am not just ON TIME I am EARLY!!!!!” his thumb hovered over his address book on Cooper, Rosie before scrolling to Quinto, Zach and pressing send before sighing a little placing his phone back in his pocket feeling someone touch his arm,  
‘Hello.’ The voice said and he swivelled round on his stool, ‘you’re not going to keep that grumpy expression for the whole evening are you?’ she added making him smile a little,  
‘I promise I won’t it’s been a long couple of days.’  
‘Well why don’t we grab a drink and then we can relax.’ She said getting the bartender’s attention and ordering two cocktails, ‘this place does amazing cocktails.’ She said as he made them, ‘tell you what first round is on me go and grab that table.’ She nodded to a cosy corner; Ben did as he was told moving over to claim the booth. May picked up the drinks and made her way over making sure to sway her hips a little seeing Ben’s eyes flick up and down her body; she sat down sliding herself over to him and handing him a drink placing her hand on his thigh feeling it tense a little under his jeans,  
‘That was a bit risky giving a strange man your number. What if I am an axe murderer?’ he asked making her chuckle,  
‘Are you?’ she whispered in his ear seeing his eyes pierce hers,  
‘No just an actor so I could do a decent job at pretending to be.’ And she smiled,  
‘Ben I should tell you now I am not looking for a relationship just a bit of fun.’ Ben looked surprised,  
‘It’s ok I wasn’t going to tell you I love you this evening.’   
‘Good response most people aren’t that quick.’   
‘Cards on the table?’ he asked seeing her shrug and nod,  
‘Sure.’  
‘You are an attractive woman, truth be told I am in love with someone else who doesn’t seem to want to give me a chance. So if you are looking for sex and I am looking for a distraction then I think this could work out.’   
‘Well thanks for being honest. At least we know we both came here with the same intention.’ Ben nodded his agreement,  
‘Doesn’t mean I’m going to be a dick though, if you would rather call it a night then just say. Oh and please the night is on me.’ He added tucking her bag away between them.   
‘Well then cheers to that.’ She clinked his glass, ‘and now we both know the end point…’ she ran her hand up his leg barely flicking her fingers over his groin, ‘I can get back to playing my game.’ She kissed below his ear making him pout a little,  
‘Now that’s not fair.’ He said running his fingers up her arm and across her shoulder,   
‘I can see you don’t play fair either.’  
‘I have had enough of being the good chivalrous guy, sometimes I don’t want to play fair.’ He said sliding his hand into her hair and pulling her lips to his taking her by surprise. May let him lead her his mouth pressing hungrily to hers as her hand moved to his stomach the other trapped behind her. She felt Ben’s other hand pull her closer exploring the contours of her thigh and hip as he slipped his tongue boldly into her mouth making her gasp a little before returning the kiss. He broke it too soon catching his breath and May smiled at him,  
‘Well here’s to a night of not playing fair.’ She said,  
‘Cheers.’ He replied, ‘now come on I want to dance.’ May smiled downing her drink before taking his hand and moving onto the dance floor.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosie finally gets a bit of good luck and Ben gets a bit of motherly advice...

Benedict sat quietly in his chair letting Suzie take off his make up his eyes were still tired and it was just the beginning of a long evening. His mind flicked back to last night, he had enjoyed himself and released some much needed tension but it troubled him how difficult it was to stay in the moment and focus on the woman in front of him. He hadn’t seen Rosie for almost two days now and he wasn’t even sure if she remembered about tonight and he didn’t have the guts to call her to ask deciding she would come if she wanted to and he didn’t want to force her if she wanted a quiet night with the house to herself. Rosie ran her hand down the line of dresses as she stood in the changing room staring at them sighing,  
‘God I don’t know!’ she said to herself,  
‘Hello ma’am can I help you in there?’ someone said from outside,  
‘Yes, yes you can.’ Rosie whipped the door open, ‘ok literally tell me which one of these would work for a charity dinner, ball, occasion thing?’ she said holding up a jade halter necked dress with mesh spreading from the neck to the top of the dress, a black tight dress with a lacy off the shoulder top, a coppery gold one shoulder dress and a navy cleavage showing dress. The woman looked her up and down and looked at the dresses.  
‘With your colouring and your hair I would go navy and I would go for either the one shoulder or the two shoulder with a bit of boob.’ She said holding the two up Rosie looked at them and looked at herself,  
‘Boob or leg…’ she mused, ‘boob, definitely boob.’ She finished taking the dress in one hand and looking it up and down before nodding, ‘right, thank you so much I have really got to go.’ She said pulling on her jeans and shirt before handing her the items she didn’t want and grabbing her handbag. Rosie rushed to the counter and handed over her dress paying for it as the woman packed it into a box and then a bag handing it to her, ‘thanks.’ She said looking at the time seeing it was getting late and she was barely going to have enough time to change and shower.

Benedict unzipped his holdall,  
‘Thank you Helen.’ He said under his breath as he turned on the shower in his trailer and waited for it to heat up making sure his curtains were closed before stripping naked and finding his toiletries closing the curtain behind him showering quickly. He washed the products from his hair and the days sweat from his body rinsing quickly and jumping from the shower, ‘right.’ He said glancing at the time wiping the mirror clean as he dried quickly pulling on his underwear and having a look at his face, ‘that will do.’ He said seeing a small dusting of stubble on his chin but not having time to change. Ben spritzed on some cologne and pulled on his socks and shirt finding the rest of his suit in the dust bag and pulling his trousers on laying his jacket over the back of a chair; he glanced at his hair in the mirror seeing it was half dry he went to pick up his gel and opened the lid looking at himself. He remembered the moment only two weeks ago when Rosie had run her fingers through his curls pushing his fringe forwards and he paused putting it down picking up some wax instead running a little through his hair pushing it forward giving it a little control as he smoothed down the sides a little. He rinsed his hands picking up his choice of ties and finding a navy one with small white stripes running through it doing it up before slipping on his deep navy waistcoat and slipping his jacket over the top. He pulled on his watch and slipped his phone, keys and wallet into his pockets tossing his old clothes and wash bag into his holdall and dumped them down the far end of the trailer giving himself the once over as he heard a car horn,  
‘Mr Cumberbatch.’ The call came from outside and he opened the door locking the trailer behind him and making his way to the black town car slipping inside, ‘good evening sir I’m Charlie I will be your driver this evening, let the concierge know when you want to go home and I will come round and pick you up.’ He said.  
‘Thanks.’ Ben said pulling out his phone scrolling to his mother’s number checking the time, ‘hi mum how are you?’ he said,  
‘Not too bad darling how are you?’   
‘Let’s not talk about me, how’s the Middle East, you enjoying yourself not spending too much of dad’s money in the shops are you?’   
‘No no well not too much anyway, we went camel riding yesterday god that was hilarious, your dad almost fell off twice!’ she said and Ben could picture it,  
‘He doesn’t like animals at the best of times does he?’  
‘He made up for it bouncing around in his land rover. Boys with toys and all that. Now tell me I want to hear about you. I hope you have been making time for Rosie and that charming man.’ She said and Ben rolled his eyes,  
‘He isn’t as charming as you think mum. He is really horrible to her, always putting her down, making decisions for her and making her change the way she looks.’ Ben said,  
‘Benedict I hope you aren’t sticking your nose in where it isn’t needed.’ She warned, ‘you have to let her fight her own battles otherwise you are going to risk becoming as overbearing as him.’  
‘You knew about him and you didn’t do anything?’ Ben snapped rubbing his eyes,  
‘Benedict Rosie’s mother and I have been keeping an eye on the situation for the past few months and we knew that she would see his flaws and make the right decision in time. She is a strong woman but she needs reminding she has that power…she needed her friend not an overbearing parent.’  
‘You sent her to me to sort out. You used me to play her into showing her hand?’ he added getting a little angry,  
‘Benedict my darling when are you going to see what we have all known for such a long time?’ Wanda said audibly rolling her eyes,  
‘God you have all played me for a fool haven’t you. You know you could have saved me all this shit and pointed out she loved me and I loved her and we could have saved the heartbreak she is having to go through.’  
‘You mean she hasn’t ended it yet?’ Wanda asked surprised,  
‘Of course she bloody hasn’t. She doesn’t have a house to live in, she has planned a wedding, and surprisingly she is in love with him.’  
‘But she’s in love with you.’ Wanda said,  
‘You don’t think I know that!’ Ben shouted and his mother stayed silent, ‘mum I’m sorry it’s just…look I have tried. I have told her I love her, she said she loves me. I am trying to give her space to make the decision and I am trying to show her the better option but it is hard.’  
‘I know it is but just try and be patient it sounds like she has made her decision but she needs to find the right time to tell him. All you can do is be supportive and think about how you would feel in her place. You want to be as kind as you can to the person you are going to leave and try not to push the other person away, Sam may not be kind to her but it doesn’t mean he isn’t right for anyone else and she is too kind to just destroy him and you will have to cope with that.’   
‘You’re right, look I have to go I have this charity dinner and I have to go be the gracious best friend.’ He sighed,  
‘Ben you have waited how many years for her what is a few more days. If she wants to kiss you let her, if she doesn’t respect that. Try not to push her and remember she is confused so don’t be mean.’ She said, ‘I love you sweetheart and remember you can call me anytime.’ She said,  
‘I love you too mum. Thanks for the advice you’re right I need to just go with it rather than trying to make things worse. Damn you for always being right. Have a good holiday, bye, love you.’ He said hanging up and making his way inside. 

Rosie slipped into the bedroom pushing some product through her hair and twisting it up into rollers finding some underwear and pulling on the navy silk panties and bra adjusting the straps and making sure everything sat nicely before finding a matching suspender belt pulling it on rolling on her sheer stockings and clipping them up. She flicked open her phone scrolling to Sam’s number pressing dial and waiting for it to connect hearing it go to voicemail,  
‘Hi sweetie just wanted to see how things were going. Call me back if you get this in the next hour.’ She said hanging up and sitting down at her dresser and quickly applying her makeup trying to keep it quite simple to save herself time and slicking on some nude lipstick. She slipped her dress on zipping it up and putting her feet in her heels heating up her curling iron and taking the rollers from her hair ruffling it up a little and taming some sections before finding her hairspray praying it didn’t collapse or go to frizzy. She glanced at the time panicking a little as her cab drew up outside and she rushed from the house barely remembering to lock the door before jumping in the taxi and pulling out her phone trying Sam again as the car sped down town,  
‘Hello Sam’s phone.’ A woman said and Rosie paused for a minute,  
‘Umm hi its Rosie is Sam there?’  
‘Oh hi you must be his assistant he’s going to be heading down to the coast in the morning.’ She said,  
‘Umm right thanks.’ Rosie stammered, ‘so he’s still in LA right now?’ she asked,  
‘Yeah of course he is, you’re his PA you should know this by now.’ She huffed, ‘hey baby there you are come back to bed.’ She said and Rosie’s blood froze,  
‘Coming babe, is that my phone?’ she heard Sam said and the bed creak,  
‘Yeah your PA thought you were coming down tonight I told her you would be there tomorrow.’ She said,  
‘I don’t have a PA babe.’  
‘Yeah your assistant Rosie.’ She said and Rosie felt the phone being fumbled around, before he managed to say anything she hung up her phone dropping it in her lap her hand moving to her chest as she tried to breathe. She knew deep down she couldn’t be to angry considering she had kissed her best friend – twice – but her mind wondered how long it had been going on, how long he had been sleeping with people behind her back and lying to her about it. The tears pricked her eyes and she blinked them back trying not to let them fall,  
‘We’re here.’ The driver said and she looked up,  
‘Oh uh thanks, thanks.’ She said again paying him quickly not bothering with her change as she dashed out of the car, a small line of photographers looked up seeing she wasn’t worth taking a picture of and put their cameras back down as she walked past them smiling tensely at them before making her way though the front door taking a stifled breath. Rosie could see all the guests milling around in the foyer of the Beverly Wilshire Four Seasons sipping champagne and eating canapés; the room was dotted with television screens presenting what the charity was about and what it involved and photographers were milling around snapping away every so often. She recognised many of the people there but for the first time she didn’t feel star struck she just felt sick, she caught Zach’s eye and he made a move to walk to her but she put her hand up feeling her eyes water again and she looked around trying to find the toilet,  
‘Can I take your coat ma’am?’ a man said behind her,  
‘No thank you, where is the bathroom?’ she mumbled,  
‘Just to the left.’ He said and Rosie fled across the room, Zach frowned before turning back to the group of people. 

Rosie closed the door of the stall and looked at herself in the mirror trying to stop her tears dabbing her eyes,  
‘Stop it, stop being weak. You wanted this you wanted to leave him now you have a reason.’ She said to herself, ‘just suck it up.’ She said fixing her make up and taking a deep breath looking down washing her hands. Her eyes zeroed in on the ring on her left hand and she went to pull it off feeling it was stuck, ‘oh come on!’ she said getting some soap and trying to lever it off feeling it refuse to budge, ‘for fucks sake!’ she screamed before giving up drying her hands in frustration. There was a knock on the door, ‘just a minute.’ She called but they knocked again, ‘I said one minute.’ She said,  
‘Rosie are you alright?’ Zach’s voice said with concern through the door and she opened it, ‘are you ok?’ he said frowning,  
‘God you didn’t have to come and find me, you have an event to run, you should be mingling.’  
‘And you are my guest and clearly upset, what is going on?’ he said, ‘is it Ben? He said you two haven’t really seen each other for a few days…said that things were a little tense…’ he added quietly,  
‘Ben and I are ok, we have been snapping at each other a bit lately but nothing friends can’t handle. He didn’t come home last night so I was a bit worried.’ She paused, ‘it’s Sam…he’s…I…I called him on the way here, he is supposed to be on a boat but he is in LA in another woman’s bed, fucking some other woman who thinks I’m his god damn PA!’ She said trying not to cry,  
‘Shit…’ Zach gasped pulling her into a hug, ‘fuck I’m sorry. That’s not the way anyone should find that out.’ He said,   
‘Its fine I mean it’s like I knew anyway deep down inside. He has been evasive, overtly stressed and abusive. To be honest I have been re-evaluating things in the past few months and I was going to end it but this, I mean I haven’t – I would never sleep with someone else until I had broken up with him, he told me two days ago that he still loved me, that he wanted to marry me and he has been cheating on me. Was he going to just carry on cheating on me for the whole marriage…fuck I sound like a hypocrite.’ She said and Zach chose to ignore that last line, ‘listen to me babbling on like I said you have better things to be doing.’ She said,  
‘Shall I get Ben?’ Rosie shook her head,   
‘No I’m fine, I’ll be fine. Give me a minute and I will be out.’ She said, Zach hugged her again and she smiled at him,  
‘Ok don’t be too long dinner is starting soon.’ He said checking his watch. Rosie took a few deep breaths and made her way back into the main room passing her coat to the man who checked it in for her and she wiped her eyes smoothing down her hair and plastering on a smile before stepping through the crowd.

Ben looked up scanning the room hoping she would show up, he had tried calling her but her phone was switched off so he had quickly given up and then finally he saw her. His eyes zeroing in on her smile that was outwardly beaming and yet her eyes had no hint of a smile about them, she was acting and he knew that she had been crying. He looked her up and down and he felt his breath catching in his chest as he took her in, beautifully elegant in a simple navy dress and nothing overly flashy but yet heads were turning to look at her fresh barely made up face and natural hair. She gripped her clutch in front of her as she moved across the room nodding at some people she knew before finally seeing him as he lifted his hand a little waving at her. He felt himself holding out his left arm to her as she got closer until she slipped in next to him her hand moving between his shoulder blades tucking her clutch under her free arm and taking the glass of champagne he held out to her downing it in one go. He raised his eyebrow,  
‘You’re not alright.’ He whispered, and she glanced back,  
‘I can’t lie to you. No I’m not alright but this is neither the time nor the place to talk about it, so let’s just enjoy ourselves.’ She said accepting the second glass of champagne he passed her sipping it a little slower this time,  
‘Ok fair enough. You look beautiful.’ He said his voice lowering a little feeling her fingers press a little firmer onto his back as his flexed on her hip and she looked up at him smiling shyly,  
‘Benedict may I?’ a man said,  
‘Do you mind?’ Ben asked and Rosie shook her head going to move away but Ben held her still his fingers splaying out over her hip and pulled her closer, Rosie smiled moving her hand lower resting her fingertips on his bum seeing him smile a little more as she raised her glass. The man snapped a few pictures and she was allowed to relax again, ‘woman we are in public control your right hand.’ He said seeing her smile,  
‘These are so tight, I can see everything.’ She replied unaware that another picture was being taken of their intimate moment.   
‘Behave.’ He teased, feeling her hand grab his ass squeezing it,   
‘I’m sorry for leaving the other day I was wrong I should have just told him then and there but I didn’t want to rock the boat.’ She said,  
‘I shouldn’t have pushed you I’m sorry but sometimes my brain gets a little overridden.’ He said,  
‘Who’s being naughty now?’ she smiled feeling his lips kiss below her ear and she ran her hand down his chest  
‘Come on we should find our seats.’ He said taking her arm and leading her in to the large room glancing at the seating plan and finding their table pulling out her chair before taking his seat.  
‘Well there you are I hope you are ready to talk recycling.’ A man said next to her and Rosie turned beaming as Steven gave her a quick hug and Ben could relax for a few moments.   
‘Indeed I am.’ She said placing her hand on Ben’s leg gently tracing her fingers across the top of his knee feeling his arm move along the back of her chair his fingers resting on the nape of her neck playing with a loose strand of hair. Chris smiled at Ewan and his wife,  
‘How long do you think they have been having sex?’ he said nodding at Ben and Rosie,  
‘I don’t think they are but I don’t think it will be long before they do.’ Eve said sipping her wine.   
‘You will soon know, a little bit of booze a little bit of flirting and then a little bit of you know what.’ Chris said making them smile a little.   
‘We will let you know.’ Ewan smirked and Eve hit his arm,  
‘No we won’t we will leave them be.’ She said as the food finally arrived. Rosie smiled as Steven began to talk about his latest project,  
‘So I think that I should get you on board.’ He said,  
‘But I don’t have a degree in environmental management or anything like that; I don’t know where I would begin.’ She said,   
‘Ah well I looked in to that, and I made a few calls. Looking at the degrees you have done already all you need is a management conversion course, that’s nine months of studying and some lovely exams...just in time for my next big project.’ He said smiling,  
‘You can’t be serious, you are serious aren’t you. But I can’t afford to go to university and take a year out.’ She said,  
‘You wouldn’t have to stop your current job it is only four days a week.’  
‘But it’s in the US right, I’m sorry but I live in London and I don’t want to move here permanently.’ She apologised,  
‘You drive a hard bargain Ms Cooper but I’m sure there are universities in London that can accommodate you that way you wouldn’t have to give up your job. May I be insensitive and ask how much you make being a freelance journalist?’ he asked,  
‘At the moment I bring home about £24,000 a year before tax. But I work about 60-70 hours a week otherwise average is about £18,000 a year.’ She said,   
‘I would say your starting salary would be $46,000 a year.’  
‘I don’t mean to be rude but why are you doing this?’ she said barely believing what she was hearing,  
‘Because I hate seeing talent wasted and that way you will want to work for me. I don’t want to stop you being a journalist or a presenter you can still do all of that. Speaking to some people who already do this as a job they recommend you work with someone for the first year to learn the ropes and then you’re on your own. Company car, credit card, flown to film sets all over the world and then you tend to be involved during pre-production and occasionally to consult during filming. Half the hours, double the pay don’t say you aren’t ensnared by that idea.’   
‘It seems to good to be true, I mean I have been bashing away not getting anywhere for years and now I am finally putting my degree to good use, writing has never been my strong point that’s why I have never progressed.’  
‘Now is your time to progress. I was speaking to Ben…’ Rosie smiled,   
‘I see…’  
‘He told me about you if I am being honest. Said I would be on to a winner, he seems to know you better than you think. Apparently you told him about a year ago you wanted to quit the writing game and wanted to try pastures new; so I am giving you that financial backing. If you want to still write then that’s your choice but I am opening the gate to the avenue that might be a good opportunity.’ Rosie sat in stunned silence and thought about her life, as much as she enjoyed writing she knew she wasn’t good enough to get anywhere, realistically she knew she wouldn’t last long as a presenter she didn’t have the balls for it but she had always taken an interest in ecology, ecosystems management and saving the planet one small project at a time. Her mind flicked to Sam to all the opportunities to progress she had turned down for him and she made her decision and extended her hand,  
‘Find me a degree in London and I am all yours for as long as you want me.’ She said, Steven smiled accepting her hand shaking it,  
‘It’s a done deal, you won’t regret it, if you turn out to be good at this I will pass your info on to all my friends and trust me I have a lot of them. At least this way you can follow Ben around the world.’ Rosie smiled shyly blushing a little, ‘he cares deeply for you, maybe you should give him a chance to love you and support you in the way he desperately wants to.’ He said,  
‘You know once I’m done killing him for setting me up I might just do that.’ Steven grinned his eyes crinkling. 

Rosie turned to Ben who was trying to subtly watch them out of the corner of his eye whilst pretending to be busy; his eyes flicked to her as she squeezed his thigh hard and her voice buzzed in his ear,  
‘I don’t know whether I should kill you or kiss you first.’ She said leaning back her hand relaxing seeing him smile nervously.  
‘Rosie I’m sorry for going behind your back.’   
‘Oh god man stop apologising.’ She said, ‘it’s fine really. I have accepted his offer and he is going to find me a place in London to do the conversion course…only one problem.’ She said,  
‘What’s that?’ Ben looked down at her lips,  
‘I don’t have anywhere to live, I sold my house and I am dumping my fiancée so I’m destitute.’ She said and he grinned,  
‘Well I’m sure you have a friend who would quite happily give you their spare room for a month or two.’   
‘Spare room…’ she cocked her eyebrow, ‘well I was rather hoping given the cold winter nights and all that my friend would be kind enough to let me share his bed…you know strictly for cuddling and other extra-curricular activities.’ Ben’s pupils dilated a little more and he lent in feeling her move,   
‘You’re mean.’ He whispered as their first course came,  
‘You have waited for so many years are a few more hours going to kill you?’ she smirked,  
‘It might and you would have to bear that guilt.’ He pouted,  
‘I do enjoy teasing you Batch.’ She growled running her hand up his leg feeling his halt her movement before she could get too far.  
‘If you aren’t careful I will take you home right now.’ He threatened making her pulse quicken and her body ache with the promise.   
‘Would be a shame to pass up a good meal.’ She removed her hand taking her napkin and covering her lap trying not to laugh as Ben made an inhumane noise into his wine before picking up his knife and fork and beginning on the starter. Rosie looked up catching Ewan’s eye seeing him watching her knowingly and she raised her eyebrows smiling a little before tucking in to her food her appetite now restored.


	13. Chapter 13

Sam stalked into the foyer of the Four Seasons and walked to the reception desk, he had already been home and found the place empty and had tried to think where everyone would be before finally realising that she would be at the charity event, some quick Googling later and here he was.  
‘Can I help you sir?’ the door man asked,  
‘I’m here for the charity thing.’ He said annoyed at being stopped, the man looked him up and down,   
‘The dress is black tie sir. I cannot allow you to go in wearing jeans and sneakers.’ He said stopping him again indicating to security.   
‘I need to see someone.’ He said,  
‘Can I pass them a message to come and meet you out here, perhaps a little more private?’ The man said trying not to make Sam aggressive. Ben turned his head at all the commotion coming from outside the room seeing through the open archway a large man being bustled out by security and he excused himself from the table for a moment thankful Rosie didn’t notice or follow his direction.   
‘You! You little shit! I need to speak to my wife.’ Sam said pointing at Ben,  
‘My apologies sir this man is refusing to leave.’ The security guard said struggling to restrain him,  
‘It’s ok would you mind letting him go for a minute.’ Ben said seeing the man reluctantly do so. Sam lunged at him grabbing his lapels. ‘Oh are you going to hit me again?’ Ben said sarcastically, ‘I don’t think that will do you any good.’   
‘Where is Rosie?!’ he spat,  
‘She is enjoying her dinner and some polite conversation I don’t really think that she wants to be disturbed by you.’ Ben said calmly   
‘Go and get my wife.’ Sam threatened,  
‘Well here’s the thing, she isn’t your wife is she, I suppose she is engaged to you – for now anyway.’ Ben said seeing the security men close in a little. Chris nudged Ewan, from their vantage point they could see Ben holding up his hands as Sam bared down on him and Ewan looked at Chris who quietly slipped away as Ewan distracted the table with some light conversation.   
‘What did she fucking tell you, it’s all lies that woman was my assistant!’ Sam said, Ben thankfully was a quick thinker,  
‘That’s not what she told me, why would your assistant answer your private calls.’ Ben said as Chris came into his eye line and he held his hand up for him to remain where he was.   
‘So what if I am fucking another woman; if you don’t get what you want at home then you have to get it somewhere, I mean she has been so god damn frigid!’ Sam said and Ben twigged, it made sense why Rosie’s phone was off, why she had been crying and why she wouldn’t talk about it.   
‘You’re one nasty devious little cunt.’ Ben said not being able to think of a better word or one more apt. ‘She has been faithful to you through all of your mood swings, through your bullying and this is how you repay her by breaking her trust in you, by sleeping with other women behind her back and you still expect her to marry you and be faithful to you?!’ Ben spat shoving Sam backwards.   
‘You would say that but I know what you two have been up two since the moment she got off the plane.’ Ben kept his face blank thanking god he could act,   
‘I haven’t touched her mate, you paranoid wanker but if that’s what you want to believe because it soothes your guilt then go ahead deceive yourself!’ Ben countered not raising his voice, not needing to. Within moments Sam had dived forward delivering a low blow to Ben’s stomach making him double over but before he could do more damage Chris and the security guard had restrained him as the door man helped Ben up; without thinking he stepped forward drawing back his right arm and aiming a fierce blow to Sam’s nose that began to leak blood almost instantly.  
‘I think it’s time you left!’ the security guard hauled Sam to the door. Ben shook out his hand turning away as Chris came towards him,  
‘I will get you arrested for that.’ Sam shouted and Ben didn’t give him the justice of turning back,  
‘Jesus fucking Christ that hurts!’ he said opening and closing his fingers shaking his hand. Chris laughed until Ben gave in joining him as well.  
‘Sorry for that gentlemen.’ Chris turned putting on the charm,   
‘By all rights we should ask you to leave too but just this once I will give you the benefit of the doubt. Put some ice on that hand.’ The security man said and Chris nodded,  
‘Thank you and I apologise honestly. I am not usually like that.’ Ben said seeing the men nod and return to their work. ‘Don’t tell Rosie.’ Ben said as he tried to breathe his good hand moving to his stomach. He looked at his hand seeing it turning a dusky shade over three knuckles,  
‘Come on hero let’s get that in an ice bucket for ten minutes.’ He said making his way to the bar and ordering an ice and water bucket seeing Ben wince as he put his hand in.   
‘How much of that did you hear?’ Ben asked,  
‘Absolutely nothing.’ Chris smiled and Ben thanked him, ‘scotch please, and make it a double.’ Chris said handing him the drink and Ben downed it,   
‘We should get back before she thinks I have gone gay and am making out with you in the toilet.’ Ben said drying off his hand feeling the throbbing subside as they walked back in. Rosie looked up as Ben sat back down,   
‘You ok?’ she asked as the main course arrived, ‘your sleeve is a bit damp.’ She said,  
‘Yeah I have a headache so I tried to cool myself down a little.’ He said as he noted Chris filling Ewan in, ‘you don’t have a magic painkiller in that ridiculously small bag do you?’ he said,  
‘Oh umm yes I think so hang on.’ She picked up her bag and popping it open finding a small pill and giving it to him seeing him swallow it eagerly.   
‘Thanks.’ He replied seeing her eye him suspiciously before shrugging and beginning to eat her steak. 

***

Ben finally got Rosie on her own as she made her way to the bar,  
‘So what happened with Sam?’ he said seeing her turn round.  
‘How did you know?’ she asked with surprise   
‘Well your phone was off when I tried to call you earlier.’ He said and Rosie stayed silent, ‘and he decided to pay you a visit earlier.’ He added making her eyes move to his immediately scanning his face looking for any evidence he was hurt.  
‘Did he hit you again?’ she asked concerned, ‘fuck he’s such and embarrassment.’ Ben frowned.  
‘After what he did are you really going to take his side?’ he said confused and exasperated.  
‘What do you mean? How do you know?’  
‘Well I put two and two together and then he pretty much told me the rest himself.’ Ben confessed, ‘why didn’t you just tell me?’ he breathed into her ear pulling her towards him.  
‘Because it was neither the time nor the place I told you at the time. I didn’t want to think about it, I called him to see how he was doing how he was getting on with work and some woman answered it from her bed. Where he had been just a minute before and the worst bit was that she didn’t know who I was…I mean I don’t think it would have been better if he hadn’t deceived her as well. Fuck I don’t know!’ she said holding up her hands feeling Ben continue to hug her,   
‘It’s going to be ok.’ He said,  
‘It’s not ok though. Just get off me for one minute I can’t breathe.’ She said pushing him away feeling Ben let go his hand settling on her shoulder and she pushed it off,  
‘I didn’t mean what he did was ok, just that…you were looking for a way out and now it makes it easier.’ He said placing his hand on her waist feeling her move away,  
‘You think that I wouldn’t have done it, you think I am that timid that I don’t have the balls to leave that man! Fucking hell Ben I said I would! I told you I would if you gave me time. I know this makes it “easier” but I would rather not have had him fucking other women behind my back and taking me for a fool for all this time. I mean how long could he have been doing it! How long would he have carried on.’ Ben tried to hug her again, ‘Benedict just fucking hell give a minute!’ she snapped.   
‘Tell me what you want me to do.’  
‘I need some space.’ She said walking away and he went to follow her feeling someone hold him back.   
‘Get off me!’ he said twisting from Chris’s grip,  
‘Mate just give her a minute.’ He said stopping him again as Ben’s eyes followed her as she made her way out to the lobby towards the door.  
‘I need a drink.’ He said indicating to the bar tender, Chris waved him away,   
‘I don’t think that’s the best way to solve this problem.’ He said,   
‘Don’t try and be the mediator here Christ, just don’t get involved.’ He said waving the man over again giving him the money for the drink and downing half of it, ‘I’m a grown bloody man I don’t need or want your scrutiny or advice.’ He added finishing the rest and walking away. 

Rosie made her way into the fresh air gulping it in like a dying fish looking around seeing a small group of people from the event,  
‘Hi sorry to bother you, I’m having a bit of a shit night, would you mind if I nicked one of those from you?’ she nodded at the man’s cigarettes.   
‘Sure do you need a light?’ he asked,  
‘Thanks.’ She put the filter between her lips inhaling a little as the flame engulfed the far end and the smoke filled her mouth. ‘Cheers.’ She said walking away a little pulling out her phone and switching it on hearing it beep and buzz at her as it loaded her messages. She called her voicemail taking another drag on the cigarette,  
‘You have seven new messages. New message received today at six forty nine pm. Rosie! Rose! Pick up the phone.’ She sighed deleting it and bracing herself, ‘new message received today at six fifty two pm. Rosie I’m sorry she shouldn’t have answered the phone. Babe come on pick up I need to explain.’ She deleted it, ‘new message received today at six fifty five pm. Rosalind for fucks sake let me explain it’s not what you think it is. Call me back.’ Delete, ‘new message received today at six fifty nine pm Rose I am coming home we need to talk I will see you soon, babe call me if you get this.’ She sighed deleting it, ‘new message received today at seven o five pm. Hi Rosie…’ her heartbeat changed as she heard Ben’s voice, ‘I hope you are ok, it’s not like you to have your phone off…umm I’m at this charity thing and I was calling to see if you were coming…I know things have been a bit all over the place with us lately but I want you to know that I am here for you whatever you want…god I am rambling now…anyway I hope that you come it would be nice to spend the evening with you, a bit of you and me time. Let me know if you are coming.’ He finished and she felt the tears prick her eyes. She took another drag on her cigarette, ‘new message received today at seven fifteen pm. Rosie where the hell are you, I am at home and you’re nowhere to be found…call me we need to talk.’ She deleted it thankful the next message was the last, ‘new message received today at eight ten pm. Rosie I came to see you at the hotel and that dick head friend of yours beat me up…wouldn’t let me see you. You cannot be so hypocritical when you are fucking blue eyes every free moment! Don’t be a bitch and load all this on me when it’s not my fault. What is so wrong with me wanting to help you be a better person! I will be at home packing but I am not going to leave until you look me in the eyes and tell me what you have been up to.’ He said hanging up abruptly and Rosie realised she had forgotten to breathe in all that time. The cigarette had almost burnt down to her fingers and was getting uncomfortably hot so she dropped it to the ground hearing someone’s foot trample it out,  
‘You told me you had quit.’ A familiar voice said in her ear making her smile a little,  
‘Do as I say not as I do.’ She replied turning around,  
‘Sorry for pushing you.’ He said taking off his jacket and placing it around her shoulders,  
‘It’s ok, sorry I went crazy. He’s waiting for me at home.’ She sighed,  
‘What do you want to do?’ Ben asked looking at his watch knowing most of the guests were disbanding.   
‘Christ I don’t know I suppose I have to see him at some point to give back this bloody ring.’ She said holding it out in her hand having finally managed to get it off.   
‘That doesn’t have to be tonight.’ He said moving a little closer,   
‘If not tonight then when…’ she mused,   
‘I meant our night doesn’t have to end…’ Rosie looked up into his intense gaze glancing down at his lips, he lent forward and she placed her hand on his chest.  
‘I wish I could use you as a distraction but that’s what it would be, me using you as a distraction and I don’t want to do that. When I sleep with you I don’t want that man to be anywhere in my thoughts.’ She confessed and he nodded almost imperceptibly.   
‘Well in that case let’s go and face the music now before you lose some courage.’ He said calling over the doorman who signalled to his car. 

***

Rosie felt Ben squeeze her hand and she looked down at it before up at him as the car sat outside the house,  
‘Ok I’m ready.’ She said and Ben gave a nod to the driver who pulled through the gates into the driveway parking the car, Ben got out moving round the car to open the door for her accepting back his jacket and slipping it on before following her up to the house pausing for a moment.   
‘I am going to let you do this by yourself but I want you to leave the front door open, do not go upstairs with him don’t let him trap you in anywhere you hear me?’ Rosie nodded,  
‘I am not scared of him, he won’t hit me…’   
‘I’m sure lots of women have said something similar in the past and ended up in sorry states, be careful.’ He said seeing her nod, ‘if you need me just shout at any time and I will be right in.’ he added and she bit her lip, Ben hugged her whispering in her ear, ‘I love you, I am here for you always no matter what.’   
‘Ok here goes.’ She said taking a deep breath and making her way inside. The house was quiet most of the downstairs rooms were shut off and the lights off the only light came from the bedroom upstairs, checking the kitchen she placed her bag on the table removing her shoes and padding to the bottom of the stairs she threw a look to the open front door before making her way up. She paused at the top of the stairs glancing behind her before dipping into the doorway of the bedroom,  
‘Hello.’ She said as Sam stuffed some more items into a suitcase he didn’t look up, ‘Sam I heard that you came to try and find me this evening…that you wanted to talk to me…’ she tried seeing him look up,  
‘I don’t think we have anything left to say to each other do we?’ he asked rhetorically.   
‘That’s entirely your decision but you are not making me feel guilty when I haven’t done anything wrong. I wasn’t the one caught in someone else’s bed. I haven’t been sleeping around behind your back.’  
‘Lying bitch.’ Sam hissed slamming his case shut. Rosie took a moment wondering if she should bother answering him.   
'Where are you going to go?' she asked as he lifted the case off the bed,  
'To work and then home early I suppose. I'm not that much of a loser to stick around when I'm not appreciated.'  
'You can keep up this victim thing for as long as you want, it makes me more certain that I did the right thing. Here take this as well.' she placed the ring on top of his passport.   
'Sell it or keep it I don't want it. I will leave you to cancel our wedding.' he said viciously.   
'I will give the money to charity. Don't worry I hadn't booked much. When I'm back in London I will arrange a time to collect my things when you aren't around.' she said seeing him nod,  
'Tell me did you actually want to marry me?' he said,  
'Did you want to marry the real me? No woman wants to be underappreciated or made to feel small and no one wants to mart someone who doesn't truly love you. So no I didn't and I know you don't really want me either.' Sam picked up his passport pushing past her. 'I hope everything works our for you.' she said hearing no reply. Benedict looked up as someone walked out of the door stubbing out his cigarette he didn’t say anything as the large man passed by him and he didn’t have to as the look he was given was designed to kill but he ignored it and made his way silently into the house and closed the door. He made his way upstairs seeing the bedroom door closed and he paused knocking before sneaking the door open seeing Rosie sitting in the middle of the bed looking at the ring in her hand,  
‘He’s gone…’ Ben said sitting down next to her,  
‘Could you take this away please.’ She said handing the ring to him and rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand before getting up and finding some pyjamas.   
‘Sure, do you need anything?’ he asked,  
‘No.’ she replied struggling to remove her dress as she couldn’t reach the zip. Ben stood up tugging it down a little until it was in her reach pausing before pushing it all the way down exposing the soft skin of her shoulders and the sheer black of her strapless bustier that had been holding her in; he placed a gentle kiss on the nape of her neck. Rosie turned round the dress pooling at her waist looking up at Ben licking her lips that were now dry,  
‘You said…’ Ben began but Rosie’s lips found his in a fervent kiss her hand moving to his neck pulling him in as her tongue sought entry to his mouth. In that moment he forgot what he wanted to say and pulled her towards him her body crashing into his as she kissed him harder their noses getting squashed and their teeth knocking together barely breathing as Ben pushed her dress off and her hands tore his jacket off followed quickly by his tie and waistcoat dropped to the floor. He felt her hands reach down and grip his bottom snapping him to reality and he moved to take a breath,  
‘Fuck…’ she gasped as she began to cry, ‘no not now…no…’ she said turning away,  
‘It’s ok…’ Ben said hugging her,  
‘I don’t want to cry!’ she wailed rubbing her eyes, ‘please just don’t look please.’ She said walking away,  
‘I will give you some space. If you need me you know where I am.’ He said stooping and picking up his clothes before leaving and quietly closing the door giving her the space she needed.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Rosie's big day but will it be overshadowed by some bad press...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you haven't stopped reading after my massive hiatus I have been working non stop recently and unfortunately doctor's shifts are stupidly long! So I have finally managed to finish this having wrote most of it 3 weeks ago...

Ben awoke to the sound of his mobile phone buzzing continuously and he rolled over to try and turn off his alarm failing twice he opened his eyes and picked up the annoying device. He saw it was ringing and he swiped it open,  
‘Yeah.’ He said,  
‘Is there something you want to tell me Benedict?’ Helen’s voice came on the other end sounding tense and stressed,  
‘I don’t know what do you think I want to tell you?’ he said sitting up and rubbing his sore stomach,  
‘Like are you engaged?’  
‘Umm no who this time?’ he said,  
‘I think the photographer took some pictures of you and your friend last night with her ring on show and then some more pictures of you two looking cosy and intimate. Ben tried to rack his brains to think about how he looked last night and had to admit to outsiders they did look like a couple,  
‘What do you want me to say?’ Helen asked,  
‘Same as usual just say no comment. Look she has just broken up with Sam I don’t want to be a catalyst for self-destruction and I don’t want to push her by announcing we are together when we aren’t.’ Ben said honestly,  
‘Ok I will offer no comment for the moment.’ She said, ‘I hope that you sort it all out life is too busy for you to go into a depressed black hole.’ She added half-heartedly. Ben signed tossing his phone on the table and getting up finding a t-shirt and pulling it on opening his door seeing that the one to Rosie’s room was still firmly shut. Ben sighed and made his way past it downstairs leaving her to sleep. He went into the kitchen closing the door trying to keep the noise to the minimum as he made himself some toast and coffee. He whipped open his laptop pulling up the page to universal studios and checked park tickets. Glancing up at the ceiling and taking a breath he booked two tickets knowing that if he needed to he was sure he would be able to give them to someone else.  
‘Holy fucking shit!’ he hard from upstairs moments later the sound of feet hitting the floor stomping across the room, the door fly open and Rosie run down the stairs. He braced himself looking at the door as it flew open.  
‘So you have seen the news then.’ He said as she tried and failed to stop the door bashing into the wall.  
‘“She’s Cumberbatched!” says the Daily Fail! “Sherlock star engaged!” The Sun, “Hooked himself a leading lady?” The Telegraph.’ She said, ‘fuck my bloody ring, fuck Sam!’ she said tossing her phone down.  
‘I told them to say no comment.’ He replied as she paced the room.  
‘No fucking comment! That’s it! I only broke up with him last night and I’m not engaged to you! They are gossip spreading shitfaces.’  
‘Their tabloids I think it is in their guidelines to lie,’ Ben said waiting for her to sit down, ‘and I have seen worse before.’  
‘It makes me look like a cheating whore.’ She said flailing her arms.  
‘No it doesn’t not to anyone who knows you.’ He tried to appease her.  
‘One of them is basically saying I came out here with my boyfriend “up and coming wildlife filmmaker Samuel Johnson” to shag you for a trial before making a decision, which given the picture they have of him I can only assume is a direct quote.’ She countered,  
‘Look Rose I can put out any statement that you want. I can tell them the whole truth, a lie, a partial truth or nothing at all, whatever you need me to do.’  
‘I want it to go away.’ She snapped, ‘can you do that?’  
‘No I can’t make it go away, but in a few days they will be back to worrying about someone else’s DUI or ASBO or fake pregnancy.’ He said pouring her some coffee,  
’Thanks.’ She said as he placed it in front of her, ‘I have too much to worry about right now with this bloody interview with the terminator.’  
‘In that case I will make you some breakfast and you go and get ready.’ He said,  
‘Would you mind I am just – fuck – I’m shitting it.’ She said running her fingers through her frizzy hair.  
‘Not a problem. I tell you what I will you to the hotel, I have to go and meet my agent downtown then you and I can have lunch and you can tell me how it went.’ He said gently massaging her shoulders feeling her sink back into him. ‘Please don’t worry about the bloody press I will sort it out.’ He added as her head rested gently on his shoulder  
‘Sorry for going nuts.’ She replied feeling his hands slide down to her waist his lips brushing her bare shoulder,  
‘I forgive you. Now go and shower before I kiss you.’ He growled in her ear making her smile.  
‘I think we should hold off the kissing for the moment at least until everything is a little clearer.’ She smiled at him seeing him nod in agreement.

Rosie stood staring at the contents of her wardrobe hands on hips she had already picked out a few items before frowning and hastily stuffing them back in. Benedict smiled watching her from the doorway before clearing his throat trying to keep his eyes firmly on the back of her head and not her scantily clad body.  
‘Breakfast is ready.’ He said as she looked over her shoulder at him.  
‘I just can’t decide, dress, trousers or skirt.’  
‘Skirt.’ He said walking towards the wardrobe picking out a black shirt and a coral coloured skirt with a white floral design around the hem, bending down he picked up a pair of simple black court shoes adding them to the pile.  
‘I have been standing here for thirty minutes you can’t just swoosh in with your fluffy hair and cheekbones and pick something that fast.’ She moaned,  
‘I think the phrase you are searching for was “thank you Benedict you fashion forward god”.’ He said,  
‘Piss off and let me get dressed.’ She gave him in return,  
‘Such foul words from one so beautiful…I do hope you are this vocal in other aspects of life.’ He winked before retreating. Rosie smiled before slipping on the satin blouse before rummaging around trying to find some tights without holes and yanked them on, she stuffed her shirt into her skirt and sprayed on some perfume picked up her shoes and pelted downstairs seeing she was still miraculously on time. She stopped as she saw the feast Benedict had made for her; Spanish omelette, toast, juice, coffee, fruit, and amazingly crispy bacon sandwiches.  
‘Wow.’ She said as he guided her to a chair handing her a napkin,  
‘Couldn’t have you going into battle on an empty stomach.’  
‘You would make an amazing house husband.’ She said kissing his cheek,  
‘Christ some poor woman would have to agree to marry me first.’ He replied filling her plate and passing it to her,  
‘I don’t think that’s the problem. You are too fussy – benchmark is too high.’ She savoured her omelette the crisp peppers and onions.  
‘You know there is only one woman who comes above that line.’ He said honestly. Rosie failed to meet his eye, ‘sorry I don’t…I’m not trying to push you. It’s difficult because for me it’s easy to carry on like before, it’s easy for me to forget he existed.’  
‘I know I keep thinking I’m fine and then it hits me…everything I have discovered these past few weeks. About him, and you and mostly about myself. It makes me feel sick that I let him play me for a fool for so long. I wonder how many of my friends knew, and if they did why didn’t they have the balls to tell me. What pisses me off is looking back on it all that flirting between us, the cuddles and touches, glances, innuendo all of it why the fuck didn’t I notice? No wonder you got bored of waiting for me.’  
‘It wasn’t just you. I didn’t make the move when I had the chance…and not just on one occasion. I didn’t want to lose our friendship and so I just got jealous and cock blocked you. God’s honest truth I almost didn’t take this job because I didn’t want to be away from you. I knew it meant that there was a risk you would meet someone else but I was paralysed with fear either way, so I convinced myself that you weren’t interested. Then you showed up with Sam, the second you walked through that door I was going to tell you how I felt then you stabbed me in the heart when you introduced him and twisted the knife with that ring.’ Ben confessed.  
‘I was going to make a decision on this holiday and he forced himself along. He didn’t trust me to come and see my best friend on my own; he hated missing out on being the centre of the universe!’ she explained, ‘I just came to get the old me back and then that kiss…my god I thought I was going to die – all those years of teasing and flirting and not knowing and then – fuck me all I wanted to do was kiss you again, touch you but I was scared that he would literally kill you.’ Ben smiled,  
‘I think he still wants to.’  
‘Do you know what I blame these…’ she squeezed his bicep, ‘please promise me you’ll do more action movies.’ Ben grinned,  
‘Come on eat up.’ He replied,  
‘And you’re going to go all thin for Sherlock.’ She whimpered pouting finishing her bacon sandwich.  
‘I promise to let you fatten me up when it’s over.’ Ben cleared away some of the items on the table putting the leftovers in the fridge before grabbing his keys. 

***

Jenna tied her hair up before slipping on her sunglasses and padding out onto the beach; Sam immediately turned his head to watch her as she swayed her hips across the sand,  
‘I’m so glad you could come babe.’ He said,  
‘You kidding me I was thrilled when you asked me. I have always wanted to get involved in conservation work and what better way to do it than spending time with you.’ She reached up kissing his cheek feeling his arm slip around her waist.  
‘In that case after you.’ He said indicating the jetty. Sam smiled to himself as he followed her pert bottom to the catamaran they would be using for the next week stowing his things in their cabin. He had seen the news this morning, apparently he had been right all along, Rosie had been shagging Ben behind her back and now the press were slating her, making Sam out to be the gentle patient victim. His agent had told him that all publicity could only be good and so he had posed slightly red eyed, more from the lack of sleep due to night of wild sex rather than crying, before asking for some privacy to get on with his work. Luckily for him Jenna was as smart making her own way to the secluded beach after the camera had gone to meet up with him. Sam tried to think if he felt any remorse,  
‘You know it’s not your fault baby.’ Jenna cooed, ‘she doesn’t deserve you. I mean it’s hardly your fault that you wanted her to be the best she could be and she didn’t take that on board, and to stifle your career as well, that’s just selfish.’ She added leaning into him.  
‘You wouldn’t do that to me would you babe?’ he asked kissing the tip of her nose  
‘Of course not and I’m perfect in every way so you don’t have to worry.’ She winked cheekily before moving to the front of the boat, ‘chump.’ She said under her breath. Jenna was in it for the long haul, she had figured out early on in life that she was smart and inertly lazy which was a dangerous combination. She intended that if she couldn’t marry someone rich she would make herself comfortable, but it wouldn’t do to be an airhead and so becoming a lawyer and marrying a rich man, left her to have some kids, a nice house and to look like a saint by just doing pro bono work. Jenna though to herself that Sam was a man stupid enough to fall for it with a little bit of ego stroking on her part. Sam heard his phone ring and pulled it out,  
‘Hello.’  
‘Sam its Justin.’  
‘Oh hey Just how’s things?’  
‘Excellent.’  
‘How you liking LA?’  
‘God its amazing love it more than home.’  
‘What do you think about making it home? Nat Geo wants to make you a regular feature as does BBC America.’  
‘You are fucking kidding me?’ he said his mouth falling open.  
‘I’m not they said they would send over the contract. I will get the lawyers to look through it but it seems a decent offer. They are starting slow, 18 months, but they want you to do three series in that time.’  
‘Holy fuck!’ he said, ‘well I’m gonna need a few weeks to get my shit in order.’  
‘Take all the time you need, talk it over with Rosie.’ Justin said, Sam just smiled,  
‘Don’t need to, I dumped her. She was cheating on me and I couldn’t stand for it mate. She had no respect for me.’ Justin paused knowing that it was unlikely that any of that statement was true.  
‘Sorry to hear that buddy.’ He said but his mind was too busy trying to think of the next thing to say to his insufferable dickhead of a client. As for his PR team were concerned Rosie made him look good, stable, but he was sure as hell wasn’t going to get involved with his image, someone else could have that headache. ‘Hey look though it’s her loss take some time to celebrate your new future. Don’t work too hard.’  
‘Thanks keep me posted.’ Sam said,  
‘Speak soon buddy.’ Justin said hanging up rolling his eyes. Sam dialled his sister’s number.  
‘Hey Leah-Anne.’  
‘Oh hey Sammy how’s things?’  
‘I’ve got loads to tell you…how’s the kids?’  
‘Ah they’re all good. So why did you and Rosie break up? Caught you with your dick actually in someone’s mouth did she?’ she asked,  
‘Something like that, look all you need to know is that it’s done. Look I don’t have any friends I can trust and mum won’t speak to me. I need you to put the house on the market; I don’t trust Liam to do it for me. I am moving to LA permanently I have a two year contract and then who knows.’  
‘Congratulations.’ She said with no enthusiasm.  
‘Look sis I don’t expect you to be happy for me I know I have burnt my bridges a long time ago.’  
‘You mean when you put our mum in hospital and pushed dad into an early grave but hey if this gets you further out of our lives then I will do anything you need.’  
‘I will get Rosie to move her stuff out.’ He said curtly, ‘and I will email the details over once I have found an agent.’ He finished saying his goodbyes and hanging up.

Rosie stood up smiling,  
‘Thank you so much Governor, Mr Schwarzenegger. It has been a very interesting hour and I have learnt so much. My press office will be in touch with the article if you want to make further comments.’ She collected her three Dictaphones and stowed them in her bag checking with the film crew to see that they got all they needed.  
‘Thank you Miss Cooper, you know it is nice to discuss this subject with someone who has a true passion for the planet.’ The governor replied shaking her hand, ‘I hope to see much more of you in the future.’  
‘That could be somewhat tricky. I am just about to make a career change.’ She explained,  
‘Really?’ his eyebrows shot up in surprise, ‘to what if you don’t mind me asking.’  
‘Environmental management.’ She said, ‘ecology and ecosystems management is where I started and it’s something I have been wanting to get back to, journalism was more of a stop gap and then that sort of ran away with me. Writing isn’t my true passion, as you said earlier the planet is.’  
‘I wish you luck.’ He said as his assistant nodded to him,  
‘Thank you, again nice to meet you.’  
‘You never know our paths may meet again.’ He said shaking her hand again before leaving. Rosie turned to her colleagues in the room and they all burst into spontaneous grins and cheers,  
‘Congrats Rosie that’s got to be one of the biggest interviews for a while.’  
‘You handled it so well, god so calm I don’t think I could have.’ Someone said as another patted her shoulder,  
‘The boss is going to be pleased about this one.’ The cameraman said as he rolled up some cable,  
‘Thanks guys Jesus I was shitting myself in the middle I thought they were both going to walk about, but that debate, wow I didn’t expect them to go at each other like that.’  
‘You sure you don’t want to be a journalist?’ a runner asked passing her some water seeing Rosie gulp it hastily.  
‘After this I don’t know, bloody hell its something to think about isn’t it…’  
‘Well that’s the problem you are too good at everything you do.’ A familiar voice came from behind her making her whirl round. Benedict was standing his arms folded across his chest leaning against a small cabinet.  
‘Holy shit is that…?’ she heard a woman whisper as someone else nodded. Rosie smiled a little walking towards him,  
‘What are you doing here? I thought you had a meeting.’  
‘I did, and it finished a little early so I thought I would sneak in and see how the interview was going.’ He said flashing her a smile,  
‘How long have you been here?’ she finally reached him slipping in to his now open arms the world melting away,  
‘Long enough to wonder whether I should convince you to stick with this as a career.’ He said seeing her smile, ‘but definitely long enough to know I need to take you out to celebrate.’  
‘Oh shit.’ She said suddenly thinking, ‘I said I would go and have a drink with the guys.’  
‘No problem, I think you all deserve one, tell you what drink’s on me.’ He said a little louder seeing everyone look up,  
‘Won’t say no to that.’ George said packing away his final camera cable,  
‘Let me just grab my coat.’ Lila added fluffing up her hair. Rosie packed up the rest of her stuff into her bag and slung it over her shoulder buttoning up her jacket and finding Ben who was deep in conversation with one of the sound men about some film related topic, she slipped her arm through his seeing him turn and smile at her.  
‘Ready to go?’ he asked,  
‘Sure am.’  
‘The general consensus is that we go to a bar round the corner.’ He said before leaning in, ‘and then later on I get to take you out to dinner, just us…no worming out of it with another fairly concrete reason.’ He said his voice deep in her ear making her lean in a little more as she felt his lips brush her temple.  
‘Ok so I have to ask…you are actually Benedict Cumberbatch right?’ Lila said,  
‘The very one.’ He joked,  
‘I assumed you would be thinner and shorter.’ She said before realising how it sounded,  
‘Which is a polite way of saying I am a fat giraffe you are too kind.’ He replied,  
‘Fuck, shit I didn’t mean that…oh god I’m sorry.’ She blushed,  
‘Relax, I was joking.’ He said as Rosie shot him a look, ‘lead the way.’ He added extended his arm following them from the room.


	15. Chapter 15

Ben walked up to the bar ordering five bottles of champagne discretely paying the bill before settling back at the table glancing at Rosie who was looking a little ashen faced.  
‘Are you alright?’ he asked gently rubbing her leg   
‘Yes I just feel a little sick. I thought it was just nerves this morning.’   
‘Maybe it’s relief. All that adrenaline.’ He said,   
‘Would you get me some water?’ She asked seeing him nod and walk to the bar. Rosie took a few deep breaths thanking the barman as he brought the drinks helping him to fill some glasses  
‘A toast to Rosie for a job well done.’ George said raising his glass.   
‘Thank you but I can’t take all the credit, you guys have been amazing.’ She said sipping her champagne before the group fell into easy conversation. ‘I should say thank you to you.’ She said leaning into Ben,  
‘I didn’t do anything.’ He replied,  
‘You believed in me…supported me. You have no idea how much that means.’ She kissed his cheek softly before wiping away the traces of her lipgloss sipping her water feeling her stomach churn. Now that her distraction had finished her mind was free to drift back to the media stories from that morning her mind trying to process them wondering if they had been in the papers in the UK if any of her friends had seen them. She felt the bile rising in her throat,  
‘Excuse me.’ She said quickly leaving the table and making her way to the bathroom barely making it to a stall before dropping to her knees and emptying the contents of her stomach. Leaning back she wiped her mouth before taking a breath feeling the moment subside; she pushed herself up exiting the stall crossing to the sink she rinsed her mouth out before touching up her make up. She opened the door to see Ben standing on the other side,  
‘Are you ok?’ he asked his face crinkled in concern   
‘Yeah I feel better now don’t worry.’   
‘Do you want to go home?’ he asked,  
‘No god no I’m fine now, let’s go and celebrate.’ She said linking her arm into his. Three hours later and they decided to disperse; Rosie slipped her coat over her arm and wedged her bag on her shoulder following the group outside. The moment the door opened several flashes went off in her face,  
‘Ben! Ben!’ the voices got louder but Ben just put his hand up smiling tensely.  
‘Guys come on let us through.’ He said,  
‘It is true you’re married?’ one man said jabbing a tape recorder in his face,  
‘Not as far as I’m aware.’ He replied sarcastically.  
‘Are you engaged?’ another hollered,  
‘No woman has said yes to me yet so that’s also a no.’ he countered coolly.  
‘What about the girl?’ one pressed into their face and Rosie kept her head down trying to ignore the urge to hit him.  
‘She is my friend from the UK who wore some jewellery on an ill advised finger and that’s the end of it.’ He said giving a final shove and breaking free pulling Rosie with him into the parking area and unlocking the car letting her climb in first before dashing round to the driver’s seat and starting the engine pulling away through the mass of flashes and people,  
‘Holy shit how do you ever get used to handling that?’   
‘Truthfully I don’t but it seems to be a part of my life now especially since Sherlock, I can’t even imagine how bad it’s going to be when Star Trek comes out and I’m dreading having to keep the photographers at bay during the outside scenes on Sherlock. I mean it’s going to be a fucking nightmare.’ He sighed,  
‘At least you are getting good roles and some recognition, this is like your fourth big break. You know I thought Hawking would have done it, and then War Horse and Tinker Tailor and now everyone wants a piece of my Batch.’ She said, ‘which honestly I’m thrilled about. You can’t hate the fans for wanting to see you at work and for coming and expressing their good wishes – paparazzi however can fuck right off!’   
‘You’re right. I am trying to be nice about it but sometimes it just gets to me especially when I am tired after a fifteen hour day.’ He confessed,  
‘Well embrace it for now. Tomorrow they could wake up and smell the coffee – realise how bad an actor you are.’ She teased.  
‘Hey I will pull over and make you walk.’ He jibed back, ‘and am I really your Batch?’ he added glancing over at her. Rosie slipped her hand into his stroking his palm gently.  
‘You will always be my Batch.’ Ben smiled his eyes flicking back to the road looking for a parking space and pulling across.  
‘Are you up for some dinner?’ he asked as her stomach growled,  
‘Definitely.’ She grinned.

***

Ben tapped gently on Rosie’s door creeping it open,  
‘Rosie…Rose?’ he whispered hearing a snuffle from the bed as the lump of duvet moved. Ben smiled walking across the room placing the small tray next to the bed clearing his throat,  
‘Rosie time to rise and shine.’ He said a little louder this time towards the middle of the heap.  
‘Ugh mngfh.’ She replied clearly rolling onto her side.  
‘May I enter your domain?’ the duvet tented in the middle.  
‘Affirmative captain you may enter.’ She mumbled. Ben slipped between the sheets his eyes adjusting to the gloom.  
‘Morning sleepy. I brought you some toast.’ Rosie didn’t open her eyes, ‘you fell asleep on the sofa so I had to put you in bed.’  
‘How chivalrous of you.’ She smiled opening her eyes rolling onto her back her hand moving to her stomach,  
‘Jesus I think I ate too much last night.’ She groaned.  
‘Well I did think that the fourth course might have been pushing it but I didn’t want to point that out for fear of retribution.’ He said shuffling closer placing his hand over hers his long fingers tracing tiny circles on the back of her hand. Rosie looked down at his actions and then back to his face seeing the planes of his cheeks, the fullness of his lips, Ben moved his hand from hers beginning to unbutton her black shirt that she was still wearing before moving his body down the bed. He kissed the back of her hand and her fingers feeling her move it out of the way sinking her fingers into his soft curls the other running up the outside of his arm settling on his shoulder gently stroking the nape of his neck. Ben moved his lips to her stomach placing them where his fingers had been lazily tracing circles around her navel feeling the soft warmth of her skin, he heard her breath catch in her chest and felt her fingers grip his hair a little tighter.  
‘God…’ she murmured as he moved upwards his hands sliding up her sides tracing her rib cage before moving round to finish undoing her buttons the fabric falling open. Ben moved his kisses further up her body his tongue flicking out to taste the skin below her breasts shifting his body. He gripped her calf with one hand lifting her leg so he could move between them pressing his body down onto hers. Rosie gripped his shoulders as he kissed the swell between her breasts her body rising to press against his chest; his eyes flicked to her face seeing her lips part slightly as she murmured softly to herself. His hands continued their ministrations stroking lightly up and down her sides reaching round to her back and her thighs that were beginning to wrap round his back, he moved his fingers to her shoulders, collar bone and neck his lips replacing his fingers as he gripped her bottom his teeth finding her neck sinking them in slightly as he gripped her ass tightly pulling her hips up into his making her groan.  
‘Mmm Ben…’ her fingers tangling in his hair. He went to kiss her lips, ‘I haven’t brushed my teeth.’ She grumbled turning her head away,  
‘I don’t care.’ He mumbled into her ear his insistent fingers hooking into her panties  
‘Gross…’ she replied feeling the vibration of his laugh, ‘and I smell.’ She added knowing she hadn’t showered since yesterday.  
‘Is there a reason you are trying to put me off?’ he pushed the straps of her bra down cupping one of her breasts through the thin fabric. Rosie rolled him over straddling him, bending forward her met her half way his tongue merging with hers as she breached his mouth. A few moments later she broke the kiss leaning back   
‘What?’ he asked moving the hair from his eyes,  
‘Fuck you’re right I did eat too much.’ She groaned jumping off of him sprinting to the bathroom,   
‘What is going on in that stomach of yours?’ he asked passing her a cloth.   
‘I don’t know.’ She brushed her teeth. Ben lent on the cabinet,  
‘So I was thinking if you were up for it we would take that trip to Universal Studios.’ He asked hopeful, her eyes turned to him lighting up a little,  
‘Hell yes, when?’ she jumped up brushing her teeth,  
‘Tomorrow?’   
‘Oooh I am well excited! And then the day after remind me I have to go and find a dress for the premiere.’ She added seeing him try and add it to his memory, ‘oh Ewan said Eve and the kids were staying for the weekend, do you think they would be up for coming? I know their eldest is still in London with some friends but it would be cool don’t you think?’  
‘I hadn’t even thought about it…’  
‘You don’t mind do you?’ she said suddenly worried that she had ruined his plans.  
‘Oh god no the more the merrier I will call him.’ He said pulling out his phone, ‘hey mate Rosie and I are going to Universal Studios tomorrow, if you didn’t have plans we were wondering if you and Eve and the kids wanted to come?’   
‘Hang on a sec.’ Ewan said clearly asking his wife, ‘yep she’s up for it, we were wondering what to do with the kids so that’s a great plan.’ He said,   
‘I will book you some tickets.’ Ben said hanging up and turning to Rosie, ‘ok so it will be an early start.’ He said, ‘shall I invite the guys as well?’ he said firing off some quick texts as she nodded. ‘Right I better go and book some tickets.’ He said leaving her to dress. 

***

Ewan smiled as Rosie huffed again,  
‘Ben you said we had to leave early!’ she hollered up the stairs,  
‘I am coming woman!’ he hollered back poking his head out of the bedroom door slipping on some grey espadrilles which clashed with his black shorts and white printed t-shirt. He finally extracted his sunglasses from the bottom of his bag cleaning them on the hem of his shirt just as the door bell rang. ‘See I’m not the latest.’ Ben said as Chris apologised.  
‘Sorry got stuck in traffic.’ He explained.  
‘Right are we all ready?’ Ewan asked, the kids hollered racing out to the people carrier taking the two back seats and strapping themselves in and Eve smiled following them making sure the baby was strapped in taking her seat, Chris lost the toss and trudged to the car slipping into the back seat next to the baby as the others buckled into Ben’s car moaning about the small compact he had hired on his visit.   
‘Do any of you guys do any work?’ Ben asked looking at Zach and Jon in the rear-view mirror.  
‘Well I am between projects.’ Jon said, ‘and Zach actually only had today off…’  
‘I was supposed to be learning my lines but this was much more fun.’ He butted in,  
‘Excellent timing. Don’t know about Chris though maybe he pulled a sickie…’   
‘I didn’t think actors could do that? I mean firstly you are quite vital and secondly if he gets photographed on one of the rides doesn’t that sort of get noticed…’ she said,  
‘You do make a good point just don’t tell him you think he is vital he has a big enough ego as it is.’ Zach countered. ‘So what’s been going on with you two since we last met?’ he asked trying to ignore Jon digging his elbow into his ribcage.  
‘Well Sam and I are over.’ Rosie began,  
‘Thank Christ.’ Zach said,  
‘And Ben and I are…’ Rosie hesitated and looked across at Ben, ‘getting back on track.’ He answered for her.  
‘So on a scale of one to ten how good is he in bed…you may include vocal input as well.’ Zach joked earning him another elbow in the ribs. ‘What?!’ he hissed.  
‘I wouldn’t know we haven’t…yet.’ She said shifting in her seat so her blush wouldn’t become to evident.  
‘We will be sure to memo you when we do.’ Ben chipped in diffusing some of the tension. The rest of the drive consisted of various levels of piss taking and terrible karaoke punctuated by Zach’s snoring and they were all in fine voice by the time they pulled into the vast car park.  
‘Sweet it doesn’t seem to be very busy.’ Jon noted as they stretched their legs seeing Ewan pull up moments after them the doors flying open and Chris hauling his frame out the kids bolting past him. Rosie waved at Ewan who was trying not to swear too much as he constructed a buggy that resembled a small off road quad bike with a cover before finally getting it up and strapping Annouk in.   
‘You ready for some fun Esther?’ she asked as the fair haired girl jumped from one foot to the other in excitement.  
‘Can we go in now please dad…now?’ She said pulling on Ewan’s hand.  
‘In a minute sweetheart why don’t you and Jay go and pick up some park maps, stay where we can see you, and decide which rides you want to go on first and what you want to see.’ The two girls raced off as Ben sauntered to the ticket office collecting his slips of card making sure everybody had theirs,   
‘Right girls in we go.’ Eve said letting the kids through the turnstile. Esther slipped her hand into Ewan’s,  
‘Can we go on that one first?’ she pointed at a tall spiralling rollercoaster. Ewan looked apprehensive,  
‘I’ll go with you.’ Rosie said  
‘Yay!’ the girl grabbed her sister’s hand,  
‘You big wimp,’ she teased, ‘come on Batch.’ She took his hand pulling him along, Zach and Chris took their moment to tease him before following on joining them in the queue for the Jurassic Park themed ride. The girls began to pretend they were dinosaurs creeping up on everyone in turn all bar Rosie giving a stellar Oscar worthy performance of sheer terror as Ben ushered them forwards every few minutes. Rosie lent back against his chest feeling his arms automatically wrap around his waist his chin resting on her shoulder,  
‘I have a little surprise for you tomorrow.’ He said quietly in her ear,  
‘Hmm?’ she replied browsing the leaflet in front of her,  
‘I know how you hate shopping,’  
‘You mean you hate shopping…’  
‘Ok we both hate shopping so I have take care of removing as many annoying factors as possible, then on Thursday I thought we could spend some time getting pampered and Friday to work I go for a bit of promoting and then premiere night.’   
‘I could get used to this kind of life.’ She said moving from his grasp as they reached the front of the queue piling into the small carriage and strapping the two girls in between them as Chris, Zach and Jon took up most of the row behind them. ‘I think we are going to get a little wet.’ She mused as the man checked the safety bars and the ride started making her cling to the bar as the girls giggled and screamed next to them, Chris making an obscene amount of noise behind them. Rosie looked across at Ben as he wiped some of the water from his eyes again with his hand wiping it on his soaked shorts pushing his hair back out of his face as the next tidal wave hit him unfortunately with his mouth open. Rosie went to laugh receiving her own mouthful trying to spit most of it out hearing Zach cackle behind them being shielded in the middle seat. Thankfully after a punishing stomach churning drop the ride was over, Rosie staggered to the exit holding her stomach and she felt Ben’s hands grip her waist,  
‘Not feeling queasy again are you?’ he asked,  
‘Not as much as yesterday but I don’t think that 84 foot plunge did me any favours. God I hope this bug goes soon it reminds me of my 14th birthday party when I had to go to a theme park with the worst and first hangover of my life. Think I only had four Bacardi breezers.’   
‘Lightweight. You started early didn’t you?’ he mused,  
‘Well I wasn’t stuck in a boarding school playing tiddlywinks and whatever else you did.’ She mocked.  
‘I was innocent…’ he said,  
‘Was being the optimum word there.’ She said,   
‘Come on I’ll race you to the next one.’ He giggled running off.’  
‘I tell you what we don’t want to hold you back why don’t we all meet back around the food courts at one for lunch?’ Ewan said rounding up his troupe.  
‘Fair plan.’ Chris agreed following Rosie as she chased Ben down.  
‘Ha got you!’ she grabbed him from behind wrapping her arms around his chest from behind squeezing him feeling him jolt forward with the force, ‘attack hug!’ she pulled him in to her feeling his hands reach round under her bottom hoisting her up his back.  
‘Right which one.’ He nodded left and right. Rosie pointed to the left, ‘transformers it is.’ He said  
‘Onward noble steed.’ She slapped his ass almost falling off in the process. 

***

Rosie looked at the menu again tapping her straw against her mouth,  
‘Decisions, decisions.’ She said feeling Ben sidle up to her,  
‘Have the pulled pork you know you want to.’ He said,  
‘I know I do but I am going to get so fat…I have already put on five pounds.’ She replied,  
‘Who cares I am having the burger so fuck it.’   
‘Got to look sexy for the gentlemen.’ She said flicking her eyes to the salad bar and sighing,  
‘Men plural hmm. I don’t think your boyfriend would be very happy about that.’ He teased as she ordered the pork with some salad to compensate hearing Ben place his order going to stand at the checkout with his receipt,  
‘My boyfriend?’ she smiled slyly, ‘and who might that be?’ she batted her eyelashes jokingly.  
‘I don’t know perhaps a tall, dark, dashing, charming gentleman? Who adores you just as you are however that may be…’ he said,  
‘As I told you before prince charming doesn’t exist.’ Ben’s face fell, ‘because however good charming thinks he is, he will still leave wet towels on the floor and the loo seat up and…’ Rosie was cut short as Ben wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her to his chest with a thud crushing her straw in between them pausing a beat looking deep into her eyes before kissing her. Rosie knew he was trying to prove a point but she felt her heart beat faster her hand gripping his upper arm and chest instinctively as she clung on for dear life wondering if her legs would give way when he stopped and let go, not that she ever wanted him to let go, ‘no…’ she breathed as he moved away paying for their food,  
‘Sorry?’ he said looking back at her seeing her face was now flushed and she was biting her bottom lip.   
‘You stopped.’ She whined quietly into his ear,  
‘Because we are in a queue of impatient people…’ he reasoned seeing her pout taking his receipt and thanking the woman.  
‘Fuck them…’ she said impatiently,   
‘And there are children present.’ He reminded her  
‘Fine, we shall continue this argument when we get home and you owe me.’ She sauntered off back to the table ignoring the looks from the assembled party.   
‘Is Ben your boyfriend?’ Jay asked. Rosie thought for a moment before smiling,   
‘Yes he is.’ She replied,  
‘When are you getting married?’ Esther chipped in   
‘Well I haven’t asked her yet.’ Ben said sipping his iced tea.  
‘You could ask her now.’ Jay noted, Rosie turned to Ben raising her eyebrows seeing one side of his mouth turn up.  
‘I don’t have a ring I can’t ask her to marry me without a ring, and flowers and romance.’ He said, Esther pursed her lips and looked at her sister who nodded almost imperceptibly,   
‘He’s right.’ Her sister hummed her agreement,  
‘But ask her soon.’   
‘Why’s that?’ Rosie asked,  
‘Because Ben is old…and he loves you.’ Jay said,  
‘And we want to be flower girls.’ Esther chimed in and Ben chuckled thanking the waitress,  
‘That’s enough girls eat your lunch.’ Eve scolded,  
‘When he does ask me I promise you can be flower girls.’ Rosie said eliciting squeals of delight before leaning back.   
‘You seem pretty sure I’m going to ask you.’ Ben whispered  
‘More of a case of when rather than if.’ She replied drinking her milkshake glancing at him seeing him grin. By the time the adults had held out as long as they could for a rest the kids dragged them off towards one of the exhibits.  
‘We have all agreed to avoid the Studio Tour right?’ Chris added with a general reply of yes. ‘Ok then animal actors, special effects and onwards.’ He said following the group. Rosie bounced from one foot to the other as they queued for a King Kong themed ride shoving her bag onto the far side and almost sprinting into her seat.  
‘Did you mean it?’ Ben asked and she looked across at him, ‘when and not if?’ he finished,  
‘Of course I did. I did just leave a man I was engaged to for you why would I do that if you weren’t a sure thing?’ before Ben could answer they were catapulted from the start and Ben was forced to hold on, blaming his cheesy grin on the wind speed not that he was deliriously happy. He gripped Rosie’s hand thankful for once that he had played it right, that everything was falling into place.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a short return chapter for which I apologise, but packed with tension and drama :D enjoy

Rosie uncurled from the ball she was sleeping in stretching out her legs pushing her arms forwards stopping as her fingers touched warm skin. She opened her eyes slowly trying to regain focus realising she was in Ben’s bed and he was sleeping peacefully next to her his arms flung above his head his mouth slightly open as he snored making her smile to herself rolling onto her back she let out a small groan,  
‘Argh.’ She reached down gripping her stomach as the wave of cramps came again, ‘fuck not now.’ She said quietly standing up bending double with the pain again before picking up her phone that was quickly dying on the bedside table, ‘shit.’ She breathed clenching her teeth her hand gripping the phone as she tried to breathe checking the date, ‘four, five, six, seven and a bit…fuck!’ she said in her head as she counted the weeks since her last period. Getting up she staggered to the bathroom closing the door not managing to get it locked as a wave of sickness came over her and she flung herself at the toilet just making it as she emptied the contents of her stomach which amounted to very little, wiping her mouth she left out a stifled scream as a wave of pain hit her again and she clutched her stomach looking down at the sweatpants she was wearing, ‘oh fuck this cannot be happening.’ She said seeing the blood beginning to leave a trail down both legs, she went to stand up feeling the room spin and then everything went black as she hit the floor. Ben jumped awake at the crashing noise coming from his bathroom and he sat up seeing the bed was empty,   
‘Rosie, darling?’ he said loudly frowning and pushing himself out of the bed looking around the room he made his way to the bathroom trying the handle and seeing it was open, nothing could have prepared him for what was on the other side. Ben let out an unearthly scream as his eyes connected with his unconscious friend lying in a pool of blood,  
‘Help!’ he shouted finding her phone seeing it had died tossing it aside and moving to her looking her up and down, ‘Rosie, Rosie come on I am not kidding wake up now.’ He said his fingers touching her hairline seeing the blood flow from his fingers, he grabbed a towel pressing it to her head looking down seeing her bleeding from somewhere else, ‘what is happening…?’ he said as Ewan skidded into view,  
‘What is…holy shit.’ He said running into the bedroom and picking up the phone dialling 911. ‘Hi I need an ambulance; address is 5801 Valley Oak Drive just north of Hollywood.’ He said,   
‘Can you state your emergency please?’ the woman said,  
‘My friend she’s collapsed, unconscious in a pool of blood and she won’t wake up.’ He said,  
‘The paramedic is on the way sir, can you see the bleeding?’ she said,  
‘My friend has a towel on her head but she’s bleeding from…from…’ Ewan panicked and Eve had walked in; she calmly took the phone,   
‘See to the girls.’ She said seeing him run his hands through his hair, ‘Ewan the girls.’ She said taking the phone,  
‘Hello?’ the person said,  
‘Hello give me a minute.’ Eve said bending down next to Ben who was now crying holding Rosie’s head in his lap, ‘she appears to be bleeding vaginally.’ She said matter-of-factly and Ben looked up finally realising,   
‘Is she pregnant maam?’ the woman asked,  
‘Is she pregnant Ben?’ Eve asked and he shook his head,  
‘I don’t know, Christ I don’t know. She might be when are they coming?’ he pleaded.  
‘We don’t know if she’s pregnant, when will they be here?’ she asked,  
‘They are three minutes away I will update them.’ The woman said,  
‘Should I move her downstairs? What do I do?!’ Ben asked,  
‘Don’t move her Ben she might have injured her neck in the fall.’ Eve said and Ewan opened the front door Ben looked up at the sound of muffled voices, moments later a man and a woman entered the room,   
‘Here in here.’ He shouted and they quickly bent down next to them,  
‘Can you tell me what happened?’ the man asked as the woman took the towel from Ben laying Rosie down flat, she quickly taped some gauze over her head applying a tight bandage,  
‘Umm she must have collapsed, I was asleep I heard a crash and I came in and she was lying there her head was bleeding so I put a towel on it and she’s bleeding from…from there.’ He pointed at her groin.  
‘Do you know if she is pregnant?’ the man asked as the woman put a collar on her,  
‘I don’t know I’m sorry.’ He said  
‘Do you know if her period is late?’ he asked,  
‘No sorry fuck I’m so useless sorry.’ He said again,  
‘Mike we need to board her and go, her BP is low and her heart rate is falling can you get an IV on your side?’ the woman said trying and failing to get a line in,  
‘Ben come on move back.’ Eve said trying to pull him out of the way, Ewan lent in picking Ben up and moving him from the room,   
‘Got a line.’ The man said and a bag of fluids was connected the man squeezing it through attaching another and letting it run,   
‘BP better let’s move.’ The woman said as the moved her onto the spinal board strapping her in,  
‘Can I come?’ Ben said and the woman nodded as they carried her down the stairs strapping her to a trolley and wheeling her to the ambulance. Ewan shoved a phone and some keys in Ben’s pocket,  
‘Call us when you know anything.’ He said and Ben nodded blindly as he climbed in sitting in one of the chairs,  
‘Buckle up.’ The woman said as Mike started the engine,  
‘I’m Nadia what’s her name?’ she said,  
‘Rosalind…Rosie everyone calls her Rosie.’ He said as they bumped along and he reached out holding her hand, ‘why hasn’t she woken up?’ he asked,  
‘She has lost a lot of blood and the head trauma is probably what knocked her out in the first place.’  
‘But she will wake up won’t she?’ he asked and the woman gave him a tense smile and he knew she was acting,  
‘Let’s get her to the ER they will know better.’ She said, ‘does she have any medical issues?’ she asked,  
‘Not that I know of, she had her appendix out seven years ago, she doesn’t take any medication she is allergic to penicillin. Umm she broke her arm three years ago; I don’t think you need to know that.’ He said rambling on.  
‘Has she ever miscarried before?’ the woman asked and Ben frowned trying to think if she ever told him, no he would remember,  
‘Not that I am aware, but she might not tell me that.’ He said, ‘is she miscarrying?’ he frowned deeper,  
‘The doctors will do a scan.’ The woman said sympathetically, ‘can I get you to fill out some paperwork? With some details saves you doing it when you are there.’ She said,  
‘Yes of course.’ He said taking the clipboard and studying it doing his best to use his best handwriting the pen slipping in his blood soaked hand. 

Ben was ushered aside by a nurse and Rosie was wheeled into an empty space, they stripped her of her clothes as doctors listened and poked and prodded her, blood was sent off in small vials and a bag of blood was hung on a stand pouring into her arm, fluids into the other. One doctor checked her head and stitched it up staunching the blood before a nurse cleaned her head of blood, one man moved her arms and legs, tickling her feet and checking her pupils,  
‘Excuse me; you need to fill this out.’ Someone handed him a form,  
‘What is this?’ he asked,  
‘Insurance claim form.’ She said handing one of the nurses a wrist band and some charts seeing her rush off with them Ben signed them turning seeing her being wheeled off,  
‘Excuse me where are they taking her?’ he panicked a short Hispanic woman put a friendly hand on his shoulder,  
‘They are taking her for a scan of her head and her neck, then if that’s all clear we will get her out of the brace and off the board.’ The woman said,  
‘Ok, right ok.’ He said,  
‘Why don’t you get some coffee we will get you when she comes back?’ She said and Ben nodded turning and trudging to the coffee machine in the waiting room looking around at all the other stressed faces, he fumbled in his pocket finding some change inserting it into the machine and taking his foul tasting coffee collapsing into a chair sipping his coffee not tasting it as it burnt his mouth, when he had finished he looked down at his hands seeing they were still stained and he took in his shirt frowning; pulling himself up he looked around finally locating a bathroom and slipped inside, he looked at his reflection seeing he was now a sallow grey colour, his arms and hands were covered in Rosie’s blood and some had splashed up onto his face and neck. Ben quickly washed his arms before splashing some water on his face feeling the coolness seep into his skin and he took some deep breaths steadying his nerves his hands shaking a little as he dried them wiping his face with a paper towel and tossing it in the bin, he looked down at his clothes rubbing at them a little giving up and walking to the door pulling it open. By the time he had made it back to the ER Rosie was just being wheeled back into place, he rushed to her bed,  
‘Hello, you must be her friend.’ The doctor said checking the chart,  
‘Yes Ben, how is she?’ he asked,  
‘We have stopped the bleeding from her head; the scan didn’t show any major internal bleeding or swelling and no fractures. She lost a lot of blood which would account for the black out and her brain may have been starved of oxygen.’  
‘Is she going to wake up?’ Ben said trying to remember to breathe,   
‘We will know more in the next 24 hours, there was no evidence of brain damage on the scan but it can only tell us so much. We are replacing the blood she has lost.’ The man lent a little closer placing a comforting hand on Ben’s shoulder, ‘we are getting an Obs consult as soon as we can and they will do a scan to check on the baby.’ Ben just nodded in complete shock. What seemed like seconds passed and a woman came into view smiling softly at him wheeling a scanner,  
‘Hello I’m Dr Gold; I’m just going to do a scan on your girlfriend.’ She said Ben just watched her; she placed some gel on Rosie’s stomach and turned on the machine lining up the small probe, after a lot of static Ben heard a quiet noise that sounded like a steam engine going nine to the dozen and he looked up, the woman smiled at him, ‘the baby has a heartbeat.’ She said, ‘and it looks healthy, about eight weeks I would say maybe a little less.’ She said, ‘we will do a more detailed scan when she is awake.’ Ben just stared at her,  
‘Eight weeks…eight…pregnant.’ He mumbled,  
‘I take it this is a bit of a surprise?’ the woman said,  
‘She never…that would explain why she keeps throwing up.’ He ran a hand through his hair, ‘eight weeks.’ He repeated again,  
‘Here.’ The woman handed him a black and white picture with a small white blip on it. Ben looked at it twisting it in his hands not knowing what to feel as she left another nurse came in,   
‘We are going to take her to intensive care where we can monitor her better.’ She said, ‘is there anyone we can call for you?’ she asked,  
‘No I will…I should call my friend.’ He said standing up,   
‘We will be through those doors just press the intercom.’ The nurse said and Ben nodded checking the time seeing it was already middle of the afternoon, he pulled out his phone feeling the warm fresh air hit him as he walked outside,  
‘Hi mate, how are you? How is Rosie?’ Ewan said the second he answered and Ben just opened his mouth, ‘Ben?’ Ewan said again, ‘shall we come? Bring some things for her and something for you to change in to?’ he asked,  
‘Yeah.’ Ben managed,   
‘We will be there as soon as we can. Cedars-Sinai?’  
‘Yeah.’ He said,  
‘We will find you.’ Ewan said hanging up and Ben sank against the wall looking down at the picture in his hand, sighing he slipped it in his pocket patting them down looking for his cigarettes and realising they were at home,  
‘Here, you look like you could use one.’ A voice said from next to him and he looked up accepting the cigarette from the old man with shaking fingers he put it to his lips inhaling as the man held out his lighter,  
‘Thanks.’ He replied and the man nodded retreating inside leaving Ben in silence.

***

Ewan approached the main reception,  
‘Hi I’m looking for Rosie Cooper; she was brought in about four hours ago.’ He said, the woman typed in some details,  
‘She is in intensive care, up to the first floor out the lifts turn left.’ She said pointing; Ewan pulled the rucksack higher on his back following her instructions and arriving outside the set of locked doors, he pressed the buzzer speaking into the intercom waiting for the doors to open. As he walked towards the desk his eyes saw Ben sitting at the far end of the room staring into space,  
‘Hi can I help?’  
‘Yeah I’m with him.’ He pointed at Ben,  
‘Oh good, we can’t get him to talk.’ The woman said,  
‘How is she?’ Ewan asked,  
‘Still unconscious, scans are all normal so it’s a case of wait and see at the moment, we will know more in the next 24 hours.’ Ewan thanked her and walked over placing the bag down on the end of the bed crouching next to Ben placing a hand on his shoulder,  
‘Benedict.’ He said and Ben looked at him his blue eyes rimmed with red, Ewan pulled him into a hug and Ben just grabbed his shoulders,  
‘Fuck what do I do?’ he said tears staining Ewan’s shirt,   
‘I don’t know but we are here, we are all here.’ He said hugging him tighter, ‘have you called her parents? Have you called anyone?’ Ben shook his head,  
‘I don’t know what to say, they don’t know anything.’ He said, ‘should I wait?’ he said, ‘she’s going to wake up I mean they said she should wake up.’   
‘I umm…’  
‘Because otherwise they panic and they get a flight and she wakes up and is fine and I cause panic and pain for nothing but if I don’t call and she doesn’t wake up or worse…’ he started to cry, ‘and they aren’t here then its my fault.’ He said,  
‘Ben call your mum explain the situation and ask their advice.’ Ewan said, ‘I brought you some clothes, you should change, I will sit with her and come and get you if anything changes.’ He said and Ben nodded picking up the bag and his phone, he bent down moving the hair from Rosie’s face kissing her forehead,  
‘Come back to me darling, please come back.’ He whispered in her ear taking one last look at her walking away.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some sensitive topics covered in this chapter. To all my readers beware I am a doctor I deal with these subjects everyday and I fall in the neutral ground for all of them, I believe in all my patients having a right to chose whatever treatment they desire. On that basis continue :D

Ben took a breath dialling his mother’s number waiting for it to connect,  
‘Hello darling, I wasn’t expecting your call everything ok?’ his mum said,  
‘Mum…’ his voice cracked,  
‘Benedict?’ she asked worried, ‘what’s happened are you ok?’  
‘It’s Rosie.’ He stammered,  
‘What about Rosie? Is she ok?’ she asked and he could hear the worry in her voice,  
‘She collapsed at home, hit her head and she won’t wake up. Apparently she lost a lot of blood and they think her brain might have been starved of oxygen and she might be brain damaged and I don’t know what to do, I don’t know if I should call James and Margaret or what to do?’ he said with no more tears left to cry. Wanda took a breath sitting down,  
‘I will ring them I don’t think you are the best person to talk to them. You need to let me know if anything happens, I will tell them in the morning when they wake up.’ She said,  
‘Yes right sorry for waking you.’ He said,  
‘You know you can call me anytime. About anything. Is anyone there with you?’ she asked,   
‘Ewan is here and I have friends, they will help.’  
‘What about Sam, have you told him?’  
‘He’s gone, good riddance the fucking…’ he couldn’t find words,  
‘Ok well could you get Ewan to call me please Benedict.’ Wanda said and Ben took a breath,  
‘He’s coming…’ Ben waved him over, ‘mum wants to talk to you.’ He said passing him the phone and walking back to Rosie,  
‘Umm hello.’ Ewan said in a soft Scottish burr,  
‘Ewan hello it’s Wanda. How is he really?’ she asked,  
‘He’s falling apart, he found her this morning I assume he didn’t tell you everything but I think you might need to know. She’s pregnant, seven to eight weeks which means it isn’t his. She was bleeding and they thought she had miscarried, I don’t know whether she has or not, or what she would chose to do about it if she knew, I don’t think she knows…umm she collapsed and hit her head knocked her unconscious and has been so ever since. They did a scan of her head, no fractures, no bleed, and no obvious damage so they are hopeful she will wake up. They are replacing the blood she has lost and that’s all I know; I’m going to try and get some water and food into Ben, and I have called Zach and Chris one of them is going to try and coax him home this evening to get some rest with the promise that one of us will sit with her all the time and ring him if we have to.’ He said and Wanda gave a breath of relief, ‘don’t worry my wife has us all briefed and ready.’   
‘Good thank you, I wish I could be there for him, but I think I need to be here for her parents. Ring me in seven hours if nothing has changed I will tell them. If she takes a turn for the worse call me, I will get them on the next flight out there.’ She said, ‘tell Ben we love him and if he needs us he can call at any time day or night.’ She said,  
‘I will do, I will call you the moment I hear anything.’ Ewan said saying his goodbyes and hanging up. He gave the phone back to Ben, ‘she sends her love, she told me to make you drink and eat.’   
‘I am not hungry.’ Ben said,  
‘I know you’re not at least drink some water.’ He said holding out a bottle to him and Ben just looked at him, ‘if you don’t the missus will kill me.’ He added and Ben drank suddenly feeling his thirst and finishing the whole thing. ‘Now will you come for some fresh air with me?’ he asked,  
‘I don’t have a choice do I?’ Ben asked and Ewan shook his head, ‘fine.’ He stood up the feeling returning to his legs.

Ben settled himself in for a long night barely stirring as Zach arrived exchanging a brief conversation with Ewan nodding and settling in the chair next to Ben placing a hand on his shoulder,  
‘Ben will you go and get some sleep have a shower and then come back.’ He coaxed,  
‘She needs me.’ Ben replied,  
‘I will be here for her; she won’t be on her own at any moment.’ He said, ‘and you smell awful.’ He added and Ben barely flickered a smile.   
‘Fine I will be back as soon as I can.’ He said picking up his bag seeing Chris at the door,  
‘Come on I’ll drive you.’ He said guiding Ben to the car thankful no photographers were camped outside. ‘So Zach didn’t know much, tell me what’s happened? How is she?’ he asked worried,  
‘I don’t know she’s not waking up I know that much. I keep going over it in my head, why didn’t I wake up earlier, why didn’t she shout or tell me she wasn’t well. I know she hasn’t been well for the past few days but she said she was fine. Then she fell and it took so long for them to get there and now she just wont wake up.’ He said, ‘they have done all the tests and they can’t find anything wrong.’ Ben placed his head in his hands and Chris reached over laying a hand on his shoulder,  
‘There isn’t anything you can do for her in this state mate; you just need to stay positive.’ He said as they pulled into the drive parking the car, Ben barely felt his legs move as Chris guided him into the house, ‘go and have a shower and I will be down here, you want me to order in something to eat?’ Ben shook his head,  
‘I’m not hungry.’ He said sloping off up the stairs. He walked into the bathroom bracing himself for what he was going to see but someone had done an amazing job of cleaning up, there wasn’t even so much as a blood stain in the grouting, even the walls were clean and the smell of pine scented bathroom cleaner almost overwhelmed him. He stripped off his clothes and took a look in the mirror seeing he had grown a fair amount of stubble his hair was now unruly and greasy and he looked older than he had ever seen himself; he turned on the shower closing the door behind him and standing under the jet of water feeling it hit his head the rhythmic pounding drowning out the swirling negative emotions going round in circles. He opened his eyes after an age finding some shampoo and rubbing it into a lather on his head rinsing it out before washing his body feeling the remnants of blood and sweat leaving his skin his headache beginning already, his eyes stung as the water splashed in them and his breath heaved in his chest where it ached from crying. By the time he had gotten back downstairs Chris was at the door paying the pizza delivery guy before bringing the boxes back into the sitting room placing them on the coffee table next to the two glasses of water,  
‘I got us some pizza just in case.’ He said passing Ben a plate and a napkin and opening the box, the smell hit Ben and the melted cheese and pepperoni filled his nose making his mouth water instantly, his stomach growled in appreciation as he bit into the first slice realising he had barely eaten for almost two days.  
‘Thanks.’ He said whilst chewing,   
‘You wanna watch some shit TV? Or there’s a baseball game on.’ Chris offered,  
‘Whichever I don’t mind.’ He said knowing he would barely concentrate on it,  
‘Game it is.’ He said, ‘if you want me go and let you sleep you just tell me, or I can stay.’ He replied flicking the TV on the white noise drowning out Ben’s mind for a minute as he focussed on the ball being tossed about after a short while he felt his eyes beginning to close and his head drop forward, ‘I think you should get to bed before you fall asleep and get a crick in your neck.’ Chris suggested and Ben nodded,  
‘Thanks finish the game.’ He nodded towards the TV, and Chris nodded back watching Ben trudge up the stairs. Benedict forgot to brush his teeth too tired to stand a second longer as he collapsed on the bed barely getting the covers up before he fell asleep. 

***

Ben woke with a start momentarily disorientated before his mind refocused and he heard his phone ringing, he sat up in a panic pressing it to his ear,  
‘Hello, what’s happened? How is she?’ he asked and Ewan’s voice replied,  
‘The doctors are going to reduce the sedation, she was restless overnight but wasn’t waking up so they gave her a little sedation, they are going to do another scan this morning and then wean her off and see if she wakes up.’ He said,  
‘I will be there.’ Ben said pushing the covers off,   
‘Eat before you come, otherwise I will only make you when you get here.’ He warned and Ben huffed,  
‘Fine.’ He said and Chris appeared at the door rubbing his eyes hanging up his phone as Ben did his,  
‘Zach called and gave me an update; he also told me that it would be a few hours until we would know anything so you need some breakfast.’ He said and Ben rolled his eyes,  
‘Fine.’ He repeated, ‘I think we should both shower though, I can lend you some clean clothes.’ He said opening a drawer and finding a plain t-shirt and some clean underwear.  
‘Thanks.’ He said, ‘I will see you downstairs in a few.’ He added making his way to the bathroom as Ben did the same. He showered again this time taking the time to shave and brush his hair before finding a simple white t-shirt throwing a pale blue shirt over the top and yanking on some clean jeans jamming his feet into some trainers racing downstairs. He pulled open the fridge seeing it was pretty bare and found some bread sticking it in the toaster before pulling the butter and jam out of the fridge and placing it on the table; just as he was putting another few slices in he heard Chris bound down the stairs and into the room,  
‘I am making some toast its pretty much all we have.’ He said fetching the other few slices as Chris buttered them all and added some jam rescuing two cups of coffee from over brewing and placing them down on the table, Ben ate with a little more enthusiasm than he had last night finishing off four slices of toast and two cups of coffee even pushing down a slightly over ripe banana before they piled into the car and set off. It was only when they reached the intensive care unit did Ben’s mind begin to race again and he walked slowly towards Rosie who was still lying her eyes still closed to the world.  
‘Morning.’ Zach said and got up squeezing Rosie’s hand before letting go of it, ‘I will be back later Rosie.’ He said before walking to Ben giving his shoulder a squeeze, ‘Ewan has gone home to sleep and look after the kids whilst Eve had to go to work, Chris said he will stay with you and one of us will be back this evening ok?’ he said and Ben nodded,  
‘Thank you all so much for everything. It’s almost time to phone my mother.’ He added sighing,   
‘Well she has just come back from the scan, they stopped the sedation an hour ago so she should start to wake up in the next two to four hours they reckon, they had her in a pretty deep sleep.’ Zach said,  
‘Right, thanks.’ He said as the doctor made a beeline for them, he took Benedict aside as Chris and Zach exchanged information and sat him down,  
‘Good morning sir.’  
‘Morning doctor.’ Ben replied as the man lent on the end of the bed a folder resting in his arms,  
‘I’m sure your friends have told you but Miss Cooper had a somewhat restless night, she didn’t seem to want to open her eyes but she seemed aware of some of her surroundings. She was attempting to pull out the IV line and was moving about a lot in the bed. From that regard we can see no damage in terms of her neurology, her arms and legs are moving fine. She seemed to be trying to say things but she couldn’t get any words out so we took the decision to sedate her more for her own comfort as she was getting rather distressed.’  
‘Ok.’ Ben said trying to take in all the information.   
‘We have done a scan this morning. So far everything looks positive, no bleeding has developed, definitely no sign of fractures. She had some minimal swelling and that has completely resolved and we have performed a synaptic uptake scan to look for brain activity. I am still waiting for the report on that scan and it should be in the next hour or so but I had a brief look and to me it looks like her brain is functioning well. I am very hopeful that when the sedation wears off she should wake up.’ He said with finality.   
‘Right that’s good…would you mind if I told her you know…about the baby?’ he asked,  
‘Of course.’ The man said with a smile, ‘anything you need just let us know.’   
‘Thank you, so much all of you for what you have done.’ He said shaking the man’s hand before turning to Rosie. He brushed her hair back from her ear and bent forward placing a kiss next to it speaking softly, ‘did you hear him my darling, he says that there is nothing wrong with you, you know I love you and your stubborn streak but if you can hear me please open your eyes and come back to me.’ He said. For a moment he imagined her squeezing his hand gently her fingertips brushing the inside of his palm and he looked down and back up to her face, he lifted her hand to his lips gently brushing them across the back and they flickered again his eyes darted to her face once more, ‘darling if you can hear me and you are listening move your fingers again.’ He said. Rosie scraped her fingernails across his palm her other hand contracting as she did the sound scraping along the sheets, ‘oh my god! Rosie?!’ he said gripping her hand a little tighter,  
‘What happened?’ Chris said coming to the bed immediately a frown on his face,  
‘I asked her to move her hand and she did, she moved it.’ He said,  
‘That’s good, she’s waking up.’ He said smiling, ‘shall I go and get someone?’ he asked,  
‘I don’t think they are going to get her to wake up faster.’ Ben said resuming his position holding her hand stroking it softly, ‘look why don’t you go get some sleep in a proper bed and I will call you when she wakes up.’ He said and Chris looked at him warily,  
‘If you’re sure.’ He said,  
‘Yes I’m sure go please.’ He said and Chris obliged. Ben moved his seat to the top of the bed reaching into his bag and finding a book in his bag and opening it to the first page, ‘I bought your favourite book darling.’ He said quietly clearing his throat and beginning. ‘When Mary Lennox was sent to live at Mistlethwaite Manor with her uncle everybody said she was the most disagreeable looking child ever seen. It was true too, she had a thin little face and a little thin body, thin light hair and a sour expression, her hair was yellow and her face was yellow because she had been born in India and had always been ill in one way or another.’ Ben began flexing the spine of the copy of The Secret Garden he had picked up in a local thrift store a while back but had never gotten round to reading. He had always wondered why she liked the book so much as a child and had dutifully reread it a few times as an adult. 

***

Rosie could hear the busy hospital bustling around her and she had tried to get someone’s attention, she thrashed her arms around feeling them restricted by tubes, he had tried to speak when people started to talk to her hands holding her arms down and she tried to push the air out of her dry mouth her lungs not seeming capable of giving her enough breath as she tried to scream at them for holding her down. She wondered where she was as she moved her legs trying to walk realising she was lying down; the next thing she knew a cold liquid was flowing up her arm and she was feeling sleepy and now she realised that they had sedated her as the haze began to drift away and she heard Ben’s voice. At first she thought it was a dream as his deep voice read her favourite book out loud characterising the voices and throwing as much effort in as he could. She wondered as she mustered the energy to open her eyes how long he had been there, how long she had been asleep, what had happened.   
‘Hi.’ She croaked and Ben paused for a moment before continuing, ‘B…’ she tried but it was harder to say his name. She extended her right arm towards his voice feeling it drop off the bed hitting some metal before landing on his soft thigh,  
‘Fuck me!’ he exclaimed his body moving away from her as he jumped out of the seat, ‘Rosie?! Rose.’ And his voice was closer,  
‘Ben.’ She croaked and his fingers were stroking her hair softly.  
‘I’m here sweetheart I’m here.’ He said and she could hear his voice breaking and she knew he was about to cry,  
‘Don’t cry.’ She breathed,  
‘I won’t cry, I’m so happy, are you going to look at me?’ he asked and she took a deep breath steeling herself for the sight that she was about to see. She let her eyes flicker open a few millimetres until they were used to the light before opening them blinking a few times looking around her seeing a room full of cubicles and beds most people asleep or ventilated; eventually she found Ben’s blue eyes,   
‘You look…shit…’ she said quietly and he chuckled slightly. She could see he had been crying his blue eyes rimmed red, they were puffy with huge dark circles but she noted someone had thankfully made him shower and brush his hair. She readily accepted the straw he placed between her lips gulping down water as if she had been lost in the desert. ‘What happened?’ she said as he placed her head back down on the pillow having sat her up a little.   
‘You have been out for nearly two days. I found you on the bathroom floor I heard you fall and when I came in you were unconscious with blood everywhere. The doctors said that you must have blacked out and hit your head on the way down and with the blood loss your brain was low on oxygen for a while. They have done lots of scans and they said you were fine but you wouldn’t wake up.’  
‘Mum, dad?’ she said,  
‘I rang my mum and said I would call her back, which I did this morning, said that you were due to wake up today and if you didn’t then I would call her and tell her. I didn’t want them rushing on a plane and having a heart attack if you were going to be fine.’ He said and she nodded in agreement,  
‘Sam?’ she asked, Ben paused for a moment and something flickered across his face which she couldn’t place,  
‘I haven’t called him, would you like me too?’ he said,  
‘No.’ came her simple reply.  
‘What do you remember?’ Ben bit his lip,  
‘I remember waking up next to you, I remember having these intense stomach cramps and feeling very very sick, going into the bathroom and throwing up. I stood up to get some water and here I am.’ She said trying to recall any more detail. Just as Ben went to open his mouth again a nurse bustled over with the doctor.  
‘Ahh Miss Cooper nice to see you are back with us again, has your partner filled you in on what has been happening. You gave everyone a bit of a fright.’ He said as the nurse checked her vital signs charting them down and handing them over.   
‘I don’t remember much I was just saying to Ben feeling unwell and here I am.’ She said,  
‘Well that’s to be expected.’  
‘How long do I have to stay?’ she asked and the doctor smiled,   
‘We will get you sitting up, get some oral fluids into you and a decent meal, if you feel strong enough then we will try and get you up and about and then make some decisions from there. Maybe in a day or two…’  
‘What?! But I’m on holiday!’ she said,  
‘And you have just come out of a coma.’ The doctor reminded her Ben suppressed a laugh as she rolled her eyes,  
‘Fine.’ She said folding her arms and turning away.   
‘I will be back later.’ He said excusing himself,   
‘Rosie you can’t rush things.’ Ben said trying to placate her but failing, ‘shall I get you some food?’   
‘I don’t want any random processed stuff, I could murder a chicken wrap…with salad, and pickle, ooh and some fruit.’ She said and he smiled,  
‘Your wish is my command.’ He said getting up and leaning forward planting a kiss on her cheek, Rosie cupped his face bringing his lips to hers kissing them softly seeing him smile gazing lovingly at her before he left leaving them with grins on their faces. 

As soon as Benedict had gone a nurse came to refresh her water, smiling at her,  
‘You two make a cute couple and he seems very devoted.’ She said,  
‘Ben’s amazing, I’m lucky he’s my best friend as well as my boyfriend.’ She said,  
‘And soon to be a daddy.’ She said,  
‘Pardon?’ Rosie said confused looking at her as if she was mad,  
‘Ah damn I ruined his surprise you two looked so happy I thought he had told you.’ The woman said,  
‘Hang on a second you have completely lost me here.’ Rosie said, ‘who is having a baby?’  
‘You are dear.’ The woman chuckled shaking her head as Rosie’s eyes widened,   
‘But I can’t be I’m not pregnant, I’m…shit…’ she said her heart beginning to race tears springing to her eyes,  
‘Oh come now it will be alright, there’s nothing to be scared of. Lots of first time mothers worry about giving birth and everything that comes with it. Bleeding at the beginning of pregnancy is normal, we did a scan when you came in and the baby is fine, the bleeding has stopped and most people go on to have a normal birth.’ She said trying to place a comforting hand on her shoulder,  
‘I don’t want it.’ Rosie said,  
‘Well…umm…I…’ she stuttered, ‘maybe you should talk to your partner.’ She said,  
‘It’s not his baby it’s my baby, thing, blip, mistake. I don’t want it; I want it out of me right now. I wish I had had a miscarriage!’ she said and the woman looked around for some help, the doctor came over pulling the curtain across,  
‘What’s the commotion?’ He said,  
‘I want a termination.’ Rosie said looking up at him defiantly.  
‘I well, alright.’ The doctor said, ‘shall we wait for Ben to come back and we can all talk about it together?’ he said and the nurse began to retreat.  
‘No I do not want to wait for Ben. It isn’t his baby; it is my ex-fiancée’s baby who left me high and dry as he slept around. I have to go home to a mortgage I can’t pay, on a house I can’t afford. To a job that I have two months left on before I start a degree. I cannot afford to have a child, I do not want to have a child, I do not care what Ben is going to say. It is not his body, it is not his sperm, and it is not his decision. I have a right to chose and if you won’t offer me what I want I will discharge myself I will get on a plane today and go back to England where women have the right to chose what they want to do with their bodies.’ She said.  
‘Page the OB.’ The doctor said to the nurse. ‘I take all that on board, we will get the appropriate team to come and see you. They will talk you through all the options as they have to legally do and then they will take it from there. I think it is different here, most abortions are performed privately and do not fall under insurance.’ He said,  
‘I understand that.’ She said, ‘but I would like it terminated as soon as possible.’ She added. Fifteen minutes later a kind looking woman turned up and took her through her options, Rosie agreed that she would like it performed in hospital and the team agreed that it would be safest for her to avoid more bleeding by taking the surgical option. She signed all the paperwork she needed to and handed it back seeing Ben come in to view,   
‘Ok we will be back in the morning and then all being well you can go home at lunchtime.’ The doctor said,  
‘Thank you for being understanding.’ Rosie said,  
‘If you have any questions or you want to change your mind at any time that is fine. Just let anyone in the team here know alright, but for tonight just rest and we will be back in the morning.’ The woman left,  
‘Why will they be back in the morning, who will be back?’ Ben asked, ‘are you ok? Do they need to do more tests?’ he placed a bag of food on the table at the foot of the bed before looking at her face. Rosie stared at him her eyes blazing with anger her arms crossed.  
‘When were you going to tell me?’ she said through gritted teeth,  
‘About?’ Ben looked worried,  
‘This child growing inside me. Sam’s child!’ she hissed back,  
‘When you were feeling better.’ He lied trying to place his hand on her arm but she shook it off, ‘when we could work out how we were going to raise it.’ He said and her face darkened,  
‘Well you don’t have to worry about that I am having a termination in the morning.’ Ben just stared at her,  
‘That’s a sudden decision, you have just woken up maybe you want to take some time to think about it?’ he said,  
‘Benedict I am alone my fiancée has just left me, I don’t have a home anymore, I sold my house, I quit my job. I don’t have anyone to support me. And secondly I don’t want anything in my life that reminds me of him, that is part of him, that in any way ties him to me so that he has a hold on me.’ She said,  
‘And what about me?’ Ben said quickly, ‘I will support you. I want to be with you.’ He said,  
‘Yeah until I am as fat as a house and you find some pretty little thing that walks past you and cheat on me like every other man in my life has done. Christ Ben we haven’t even slept together yet, you are in love with the idea of me I can tell you the reality is crushingly different!’ she said her voice ramping up a few octaves,  
‘All I am saying is that your body has been through a lot I don’t want you to risk your life again for a fucking termination! Can’t you see that! If anything you are my best friend, regardless of that fact I am in love with you and I always have been, that I am not like all of your other boyfriends, that I would never hurt you or leave you and this is most important if you chose to have that baby, your baby I would love it, support it and care for it as if he or she were my own. You know I would so don’t tar me with the same brush as the rest of them.’ He tried to keep his voice down a little,  
‘You don’t get it you aren’t listening. I don’t want this baby. I am not going to die.’ She said.  
‘You almost did! You almost died less than 48 hours ago, you selfish stupid woman.’ He said regretting it as soon as he set it,  
‘Just fuck off! Fuck off leave me alone and don’t come back unless you want to support me! You know what just don’t come back at all.’ She said turning away from him in the bed and pulling the covers up,  
‘Fine you know what fine, if you want to be selfish and stubborn and alone I will let you. I will call your parents! And my parents and everyone else who gives a shit about you and tell them that you are fine and then if you don’t ever want to see me again then fine! Maybe you should call the father of your child, see if he wants to support you if he isn’t to busy being an asshole!’ he grabbed his bag and pulled open the curtain storming off of the ward leaving Rosie to sob into her pillow.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay I have written and rewritten and deleted and put back many sections of this chapter, it had three different last paragraphs but I have it going where I want it now. Enjoy

Ben walked as fast as he could storming through crowds of people going about their daily lives, he clenched his fists by his sides his breath seething in and out through his mouth until he finally stopped as he reached a large park. He flopped down on the grass pulling out his phone and taking some deep breaths trying to calm down as he dialled his mother’s number hearing her pick up and trying to act his ass off,  
‘Hi mum.’ He said employing his years of training,  
‘Hello sweetheart how is she?’ Wanda asked immediately,  
‘She’s awake and she’s completely fine, no residual problems that we can tell.’ Ben said and his mother breathed a sigh of relief,  
‘Does she want me to call her parents?’ she asked, Ben didn't know and didn't want to go back to ask,  
‘I can only assume not. I don't think she would want them fussing and coming all the way over here.’ he said,  
‘Well ask her the next time you see her and I will just keep my mouth shut in the meantime.’  
‘That could be a first.’ Ben said and his mother audibly rolled her eyes down the phone,   
‘So tell me how you are?’ she asked and Ben took a breath,  
‘How do you think? Tired mostly and I suppose I just want everything to get back to normal.’ He said,  
‘Well these things take time darling, you have your whole lives together if that’s what you both want.’ Ben forced a tear back,  
‘Sorry mum I’m gonna have to go Zach is here and he wants an update.’ He said before his voice cracked.  
‘Well ok but if you need to talk call any time, and I will call in a few days see how everyone’s doing.’ She said,  
‘Ok bye mum, give my love to dad.’ He said hanging up just in time a tear escaping from his chest in a loud sob. Ben tried to ignore all the people who seemed to turn to look at him standing up he brushed the grass from his trousers and wandered back to the main road finding an empty cab and hailing it,  
‘Where can I take you?’ the man said flicking the meter on as Ben recited his address hoping that no one was home when he got back. Thankfully the journey was quick and Ben hadn’t realised how far he had walked in his small blacked out rage, he took some deep breaths stilling himself before paying the fare and making his way up the front drive. The house looked quiet and empty and he called out when he had opened the door,  
‘Hello? Anyone home?’ was met with silence. He dumped his bag on the floor going to the cupboard and finding a glass pouring himself a large glass of scotch downing half of it before padding into the kitchen and opening the fridge suddenly hungry. He demolished the left over pizza, half a block of cheese and the two slightly over ripe tomatoes that sat on one shelf before pulling out a jar of jam finding a spoon and dipping it inside eating a few mouthfuls before putting it back licking the spoon clean and chucking it in the sink; he opened the curtains seeing they were bare and he huffed picking up his keys and wallet making his way to the car trying to make a mental list of groceries on his way to the store. 

Rosie opened her eyes realising she must have fallen asleep, someone had pulled the curtains around her bed and she sat up rubbing her eyes her fingers moving to the bandage covering her hair and she winced when she touched it. Her hand moved over her lower stomach settling on it for a moment before she shook her head,  
‘Don’t think about it like that, you know whose baby you want and it isn’t that idiot’s.’ She said quietly under her breath, ‘you will resent this baby.’ She added especially if it drove a wedge through her life and her future. Her eyes drifted to the end of the bed the brown paper bag still sitting on the end of the bed; reaching forward she opened it seeing that Ben had done her well, the top of the bag packed with grapes, bananas, apples and cherries, underneath was nestled a chicken and salad wrap that was still surprisingly quite cool and she noted no dressing making her smile. Opening it up she bit into it feeling the hunger hit her and she finished one half in five quick bites; she placed the other bit aside pulling the skin off of a banana and eating it in a few mouthfuls before slowing down as her stomach filled, she slowly finished off the wrap feeling sated before leaning back feeling something hard under her back, digging around under the pillow she found a book and her mouth narrowed into a hard line as she saw the cover the pages now well thumbed where Ben had bent the spine back, she opened it to the page he had gotten too leaning back and getting engrossed; so much so she didn’t notice the curtain being pulled back and a woman filing silently in,  
‘Oh hello you’re awake.’ A male nurse said attaching a blood pressure cuff to her arm, ‘and you’ve eaten.’ He said noting the destruction at the end of the bed,  
‘Yeah I was starving.’ She said as he checked her pulse noting it all down, ‘so how do I look?’ she asked folding the corner of the page and placing the book down,  
‘All looks good, all scans are cleared and after your procedure tomorrow if your vitals are well you can go about midday the doctor says.’ He smiled at her,  
‘Thank god I hate hospitals.’ She said trying to keep it light,  
‘Oh me to and I work in them.’ He replied making her laugh,   
‘Oh god I smell awful.’ She said pulling a face, ‘is there any way I can shower?’ she asked, the man bent down looking in the small cabinet next to her bed,  
‘Sure I will get one of the female nurses to take you, your partner brought you some wash things and a change of clothes if you want to put them on.’ He said and she nodded readily,  
‘Oh god yes please.’ She said, ‘and I’m sure I can manage.’ She said,  
‘Well let me help you across.’ He said, ‘the first time out of bed lots of people tend to be dizzy and we don’t want you doing the same thing again.’   
‘That’s a fair point; I don’t fancy repeating myself either.’ She said swinging her legs off the edge of the bed and putting her feet flat to the floor; she allowed the man to tuck his arm around her shoulders and she pushed herself up feeling the blood drain from her head for the moment before she regained her balance, ‘right here we go.’ She said putting one foot in front of the other glad she still had the strength in her legs to move and her wits about her to stay upright. Once the nurse had gotten her into the shower and sat on a little stool she heard him close the door flicking the lock across from the outside and leaving her to it. She shed herself of her hospital gown and attractive mesh pants putting them in the clothes bin in the corner before looking at herself in the full length mirror; she turned to the side looking down at her belly trying to see if there was any discernable bump that she had missed running her hand across it. Her eyes flicked to the bruises on her forehead and her shoulder where she had hit the floor but otherwise she looked remarkably intact if not a little pale and washed out. She grabbed the bag and took some items to the shower turning it on and allowing the hot water to stream across her skin trying hard not to get her stitches too wet as instructed, she washed carefully around them brushing her hair out running some conditioner through it before turning her attentions to her body washing away all the sweat and blood that was left until she was clean and then she dried her body wrapping herself in her clean pyjamas combing out her hair rubbing some moisturiser on her face and slipped her feet into some flip flops padding her way back across to her bed slipping in between the now clean sheets.

***

Benedict woke up to the sound of the front door being pushed open and he sat up his hand moving to his lower back as it clicked and he groaned,  
‘Morning.’ Ewan said, ‘did you fall asleep on the sofa?’ he asked, ‘what time did you get back last night?’ he asked,  
‘Early. It’s a long story.’ Ben said as Ewan frowned,   
‘So you are going to pick her up this morning right?’ he asked confused, ‘or was one of us supposed to?’ he added looking at his phone,  
‘She doesn’t want me there so I am respecting her wishes.’ Ben said getting up and picking up the empty glasses on the table walking to the kitchen,  
‘Ok I missed something…’ Ewan said.  
‘She told me to fuck off; she told me if I wasn’t going to be supportive then I could leave.’ He said,  
‘She’s having an abortion.’ Ewan put two and two together,  
‘No she is risking her life by having surgery for something that she should maybe take some time to think about because all she is thinking about is Sam and how awful it would be to have his child. Even though I said she should maybe think about waiting a few days, or you know the fact that I would support her and bring up the kid like it was mine.’   
‘Umm Ben did you say it like that?’ Ewan asked,  
‘I may have also called her selfish and stupid.’ Ben said running a nervous hand through his hair, Ewan took a breath,  
‘I don’t need to tell you that you’re an idiot right?’ he said,  
‘Fuck this is a fucking mess, what do I say to her?’ he asked,  
‘You could try swallowing your pride, realising she must be scared as hell, feeling alone and unsupported and always with a woman, always lead with an apology.’ Ewan said, ‘when is she due to have this?’ he asked,  
‘This morning.’ Ben said,  
‘Then you better get your ass down there.’ Ewan said with a stern voice raising his eyebrows until Ben sighed picking up his keys and making his way to the door. He ran through what he was going to say on the way there and he knew she had a right to do whatever she wanted; parking the car he made his way inside checking his watch hoping he hadn’t missed her and breaking into a bit of a jog until he got to the ICU making his way inside, he frowned as his eyes caught hold of a young man in the place that Rosie had been lying the night before,  
‘Excuse me, the woman who was in bed ten, Rosie Cooper, where is she?’ he asked worried that she had died and they hadn’t called him,  
‘She was taken up to obstetrics this morning about half an hour ago.’ She said and Ben almost collapsed with relief,  
‘Thank you where is the department?’ he asked,  
‘On the fifth floor out of the elevator and turn right.’ She said and he thanked her turned and jogged towards the door, he skipped the lift and went straight for the stairs clearing the two flights in a few minutes before looking around locating the right door and pressing the intercom,  
‘Hi I’m here for Rosie Cooper.’ He said and the woman buzzed him in seeing the woman, who opened the door,  
‘Hello, she didn’t say she was expecting anyone. Can I ask what relation you are?’   
‘I’m her…’ he paused for a moment, ‘husband.’ He finished quickly,  
‘Oh my apologies right this way, she is in with the doctor at the moment let me just see if she’s ok with you coming in.’ the woman knocked on the door poking her head round,  
‘Hi sorry to interrupt I have Rosie’s husband outside.’ Rosie looked up from filling out her form and the doctor glanced at her, ‘is it ok for him to come in?’ Rosie opened her mouth thinking for a moment,  
‘Yeah sure let him in.’ she said eventually.

Benedict made his way into the room shamefacedly looking at his shoes,   
‘Are you sure you want him to be here?’ the doctor asked,  
‘Please Rosie can I talk to you for a minute?’ he said and Rosie looked at the doctor,  
‘I will give you five minutes, and I’ll go and check on your bloods.’ She said getting up and leaving the room closing the door behind her. Neither of them spoke for a moment,  
‘Can I sit down?’ Ben asked breaking the silence,  
‘That depends on what you are going to say.’ Rosie replied as Ben sank into the chair opposite,  
‘I wanted to say I am sorry; for calling you selfish and stupid and stubborn and everything else.’ He said not meeting her eyes, ‘and I wanted to be here for you. I didn’t want you to do this on your own if that’s what you want to do.’ He said,  
‘But you still don’t agree with me.’ She said,  
‘I don’t know, I have known about it since they gave me this.’ He handed her the ultrasound picture from his pocket and she looked at it blinking,  
‘Is that…’  
‘They did it when you first came in when you were bleeding.’ He said, ‘I am not anti-abortion, I think that you have the right to do whatever you want but I don’t want you to do this for the wrong reasons. If you think you won’t have anywhere to live you can live with me, I would hope you would live with me when we go back to London, the degree can wait, and I can financially support us all. I would not abandon you or your, our child no matter how “whale like” you become,’ he put his fingers up and she smiled slightly, ‘and I would never think you look hideous…but I understand that you don’t want to be tied to Sam via anything, I am just worried that given everything you have been through in the last few days I just didn’t want you to risk your health for something that can be done in a few days or a few weeks.’ He said, ‘and that is all I wanted to say.’ He finished and Rosie said nothing for a minute, ‘shall I go, I should probably go.’ He went to stand up and she placed a hand on his that was resting on his knee,  
‘Please stay…stay with me. I need you Ben, I have always needed you and I have always loved you. I don’t want this,’ she held up the ultrasound before crumpling it and throwing it in the bin, ‘inside me any longer. I have spoken at length with three doctors and all of them agree that this procedure is safe and it doesn’t put me at any risk.’ She said, ‘otherwise I wouldn’t go through with it. ‘I want…’ she looked at him, ‘I want my first baby to be yours, with you, when we are both ready not in eight months. I want to look at my child every day with love not resentment and I would…but I am scared…’ she said tears beginning to run down her cheeks, Ben instantly shifted kneeling in front of her gathering her into his shoulder,  
‘Don’t be scared, everything will be fine, I love you so much.’ He said and she cried harder,  
‘Am I a horrible person, I am killing a child…Ben…’ she said and he stroked her hair rocking her slightly,  
‘You aren’t a horrible person; you aren’t bringing a child into the world when you aren’t ready to be the mum you want to be. This blip,’ he poked her stomach, ‘can’t feel, can’t live, you aren’t killing a child don’t think about it like that.’   
‘You’re right.’ She said looking up as the doctor crept back in,  
‘Everything alright?’ she asked rotating the pieces of paper in her hands,  
‘Yes…yep.’ Rosie said wiping her eyes,   
‘We have a small problem.’ The doctor said, ‘your blood count is still a little low, the risk of bleeding is small but there will be some spotting similar to the last few days of a period and we don’t want to take the risk of you bleeding heavily again.’ The doctor explained,  
‘So what do we do now?’ Rosie asked,  
‘We will give you some supplements to take, but in young people we find they bounce back quickly so it should only be a week or so…’  
‘A week!’ Rosie shrieked and Ben placed a hand on hers, ‘but won’t it be too late?’ she said,  
‘You are very early on just seven weeks, medical terminations can be performed up to around 12 weeks and surgical procedures in clinic up to sixteen so we have no need to worry that it can’t be done.’ She tried to say,  
‘But I don’t want to be pregnant.’ She said,  
‘I understand that but the risks outweigh the benefits today, I will schedule you in for a set of bloods on Tuesday and see you on Wednesday, if your count is stable or improving we can do it then.’ The doctor said,  
‘Thank you.’ Ben said through the silence that was emerging,  
‘Oh don’t be nice, this is what you wanted!’ Rosie said standing up collecting her bag and walking out. Ben exhaled and turned to look at the doctor,  
‘Mood swings are normal and it’s a difficult time.’ She shrugged,  
‘Joyous.’ He replied sarcastically, ‘and crying randomly? Eating like a horse, throwing it all up again, fainting? Kicking me in bed?’ he asked and the woman smiled,  
‘That sounds like pregnancy. Good luck, here is her prescription, she needs to take one three times a day and this is the directions and appointment times for Tuesday and Wednesday.’ She said handing Ben all the paperwork.  
‘Thanks.’ He said pulling the door open and making his way outside seeing Rosie outside the double doors gazing out of the window. He walked up behind her wrapping his arms around her kissing her neck, ‘everything will be fine.’ He said and she relaxed into him,  
‘I have to tell Sam.’ Came her answer and Ben stiffened a little,  
‘If that’s what you want.’ He replied,  
‘He won’t care but he deserves to know and he won’t make me keep it, my mind is made up.’   
‘Alright, let’s get you home for now and get some spinach into you.’ He said and she chuckled,  
‘I hate spinach.’ She replied as he led her slowly to the lift, ‘I’m not going to break you know.’ She added,  
‘I am never coming that close to losing you again.’ Was his simple reply before leaning in and kissing her properly for the first time in what felt like weeks.


End file.
